Interview Mamazine

Jolene

2008-09-08T10:28:00.005-04:00

Wake up: 6:19 am
Slept for: 7 hours
First thought is: Workout today. You have to workout today.
Baby is: Big, man. He is big. 16 pounds at 4 months and one week.
This is: I used to judge all babies by Scarlett—who was barely 20 pounds at a year. I didn't mean to judge, but I was doing it nonetheless. As ridiculous as it sounds, I used to think that something was wrong with babies who were so big. I'd think such waste-of-time thoughts as why are their parents feeding them so much. This and other gratuitous and completely stupid thoughts have plagued me (as they do for many people, whether or not they realize it), but I am committed to getting a handle on them. Think about how much more energy you'd have if stupid, petty, insidious thoughts didn't mar up your otherwise positive thinking. Think about how much happier you'd be if you could always just be in the positive with things and learn to effectively and easily push away and eventually vanquish all other ways of thinking. Think about that today, seriously.
Daughter is: At school. She loves it. She lives for it. Frampton comes alive.
This is: A relief—though I am adjusting to having to be out of the house at 8:10 on the dot. She's three, so we have 15 more years of the morning dash.
Man is: Trapper John. We've got a squirrel in the attic—which I guess is better than having bats in our belfry.
This is: Potentially fleeting. We'll see if the big guns are called in.
Goal for the day: Workout–done. Eat cleanly—doing-ish.
Kabbalah says: "We can always find lots of reasons to be frustrated with people. But we want to remember that everyone has their limitations, and tikun. Sometimes the best thing we can do is to be compassionate.

Today, choose one person you're really judging and find a way to share with them. Don't think about it too much. Just see if you can put the anger or whatever it is aside and do something nice."
First bananas thought: Not a bananas kind of day...yet.
Arrive at gym: Did 21-minute workout at 7:30. It's great, but things would be moving at warp speed if I could get to the gym and do 30 or so minutes of cardio.
Workout is: Not terribly intense today. I didn't go into it with focus.
Today's song is: Jolene by Dolly Parton
Best lyric is: Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene
I want: To go vegetarian again. Maybe. Well, I mean, I am thinking about it. I haven't been one for a good 10 years now.
I love: Fresh juices. I had a carrot, apple, ginger, parsley one today. Dreamy.
I wish: I had my own juicer—and someone to clean it.
I am totally, majorly obsessing over: Our new About TFG. I think it finally says what it should say, as a first-stop introduction to the magazine. Check it out:
http://www.thefamilygroove.com/abouttfg.htm
Being a mom means: Paying attention—and it's so challenging. Have you tried to pay attention, to really pay attention without your mind wandering to your ever-rolling to-do list or your hands wandering to straighten something up or your eyes wandering to the television or the dust bunny about to hop through your kitchen. Phew! It ain't easy.
Being a wife means: Having someone to spell with.
Being a business owner means: Figuring out what your company can do the best.
Out of the mouths of babes: "Two kids in class were crying. They totally had meltdowns."
Today I ate: Small bagel with soy butter for breakfast (bad choice), a juice for snack, a tempeh, tomato and lettuce sandwich for lunch. Salad with grilled shrimp, a few oysters and some bread for dinner.
Today I drank: Coffee (bad choice) with milk (even worse choice) and water. Glass and a half of red wine. I should have stopped at one glass.
Work was: Hectic.
Today I learned: That's there's a difference between self-esteem and self-confidence.
I am: Going to have to figure that one out.
Tomorrow I will: Work like the dickens. I have so much work to do that sometimes I can't wrap my head around it. There's a fine line between motivating and frustrating.

I Dug Up a Diamond

2008-09-03T08:29:00.008-04:00

Wake up: 6:02 am
Slept for: Maybe 6 1/2 hours.
First thought is: I am doing it. I have to get exercising again. I haven't done anything in over a week. Work has been so busy. Good lord, that's the worst excuse! I've been getting up at 5:30 or 6 every day, but I've been diving into work. It does feel good to get so much accomplished before 8. It does help you get ahead, but, ultimately, it doesn't sustain you. You can't find the time to workout; you have to make the time. So,what's stopping me? I have these awesome tapes from Barry's Bootcamp (buy these DVDs, people!) that give you results-packed 21-minute workouts. Come on! I didn't have 21 minutes a day last week? It's sabotage. I totally sabotaged myself last week. The week prior I worked out six days in a row—and I definitely, definitely saw results. Last week was so busy and, as a result, so stressful and emotionally draining that I thought I didn't have one ounce of mojo to spare. In reality, if I had been working out—if I had just done it one time—I would have created gallons of mojo. It's the same lesson that I've learned time and time again. Maybe I finally get it now.
Baby is: A mover. He's so alive and so physical. I don't remember if Scarlett was this physical or if I am falling prey to the cliche that boys move more.
This is: Well, whether it's him or boys or whatever, it's a sign of things to come. I best get ready for his mobility.
Daughter is: Starting school tomorrow.
This is: Huge. It's huge...for me. I live for her school. I want to go myself.
Man is: IF on a good day and VVS1 on a grouchy one. I bet he'd say FL.
This is: Sparkly.
Goal for the day: Workout–done. Eat well—will do. Work—doing. Look into my kids eyes with life—doing.
Kabbalah says: Get rid of the people in your life for whom your fire does not burn brightly. It's a risk, but the benefit is "that it frees your energy to devote to building other fires that do serve you."
First bananas thought: I want to interview Sarah Palin. I bet I could get her, if I tried.
Arrive at gym: And by gym, I mean den: 7:30 am.
Workout is: SI2
Today's song is: I Dug Up a Diamond by Mark Knopfler and Emmy Lou Harris
Best lyric is:
My gem is special
Beyond all worth
As strong as any metal
Or stone in the earth
Sharp as any razor
Or blade you can buy
Bright as any laser
Or any star in the sky
I want: A library.
I love: Amy's chocolate chip cookies.
I wish: I had a cookie jar. I've wanted one for years but just can't seem to commit.
I am totally, majorly obsessing over: The lore of childhood. Am I fostering it?
Being a mom means: Walking your child back to bed for almost an hour.
Being a wife means: Having someone else to help you walk your child back into bed, back into bed, back into bed, back into bed.
Being a business owner means: Talking to everyone about what you're doing.
Today I ate: High fiber cereal and almond milk, turkey on whole grain bread, chicken, brown rice and veg—oh, and one and a half of Amy's homemade chocolate chip cookies.
Today I drank: Some water, but not nearly enough.
Work was: Rolling.
Today I learned: You have to push through. Just because you don't feel like doing something doesn't mean that you have an excuse not to do it.
I am: Listening to Shawn deal with Scarlett. It was his turn. She's still up. She's relentless.
Tomorrow I will: Run faster.

Pop Song 89

2008-08-17T06:39:00.004-04:00

Wake up: 5:45 am
Slept for: Almost 6 hours
First thought is: Maybe he'll go back to sleep—but then the chatter turned into crying and I knew it was all over for me.
Baby is: Almost ready for his Exersaucer, aka the one thing that enabled me to work when I didn't have a sitter for Scarlett. God bless the Exersaucer.
This is: In the basement along with a warehouse of things that need to be given away or just chucked. Chucking things rules.
Daughter is: Starting school in two weeks from Tuesday. I think. I should double check that.
This is: Built up. We've received mail correspondences from her school weekly—which is lovely and formal and important, but not all I can think about is how not eco-friendly they're being.
Man is: Playing softball today. Just one more Sunday to go.
This is: Well, I used to be so excited when his season was over, but now I realize it's the only thing he has outside of this home and work, which is also in this home. So, I guess it's actually not so great. Basketball doesn't start until November.
Goal for the day: Same as they ever were: workout, eat cleanly, think cleanly, work.
Kabbalah says: This is from yesterday's daily email: "There is a joke about these two shoe salesmen who travel to a third world country in search of new business opportunities.

One man calls his wife the moment he lands, telling her, 'Honey, I'm coming back home. There's no hope here. Nobody here is wearing shoes, so there's no one to sell to.' He boards the next flight home.

The second man calls his wife and says, 'Honey, you wouldn't believe what I found here. There is so much opportunity. No one here is wearing shoes. I can sell to the whole country!'

There's opportunity everywhere. When we have a consciousness of expecting the magic to happen, it will happen. We'll find the right people, we'll move in the right circles, we'll 'bump' into the right solutions. It all starts with that opening in the mind."
First bananas thought: I can bang out this article in an hour. Come on, do I really think that? Am I doing some subversive mind over matter Jedi mind tricks on myself?
Arrive at gym:
Workout is:
Today's song is: Pop Song 89 by REM
Best lyric is: Hello, I'm sorry I lost myself
I think I thought you were someone else
When I hear this song: It reminds me of freshman year of college (which wasn't in 89—it was in 93, thank you very much).
Flash thought: Loretta Zahnstucker's (I should look up that spelling) art studio. I can see it so clearly. I can feel it. I took art classes after school when I was 7 or 8. I loved it, even though I'd always say that I didn't want to go. We did water colors and oil paintings. Art is so therapeutic. Do you have weird flashes of non-sequitur thoughts, too? What are they? Why are they?
I want: A razor-back vest. I'm into it—but you really have to be hipster skinny to pull it off.
I love: Opening the back door that leads to the deck and hearing the sounds of the morning, especially now that the jabber man has fallen back to sleep and the other people who live here are still silent. Ahhhh, heaven. I forget to open doors and windows, sometimes. I forget how calming and wonderful it is to let the outside in.
I wish: Someone would write the article that I continue to put off.
I am totally, majorly obsessing over: Getting copies of Real Simple (its family edition), which goes on sale tomorrow. We're featured in it.
Being a mom means: Giving more.
Being a wife means: Giving more
Being a business owner means: Giving more.
Out of the mouths of babes: "I love you"—as said by Scarlett to her little friend John during their playdate yesterday.
Today I ate: Decently, save a mess of crackers before dinner.
Today I drank: Not nearly enough water...again.
Work was: Great. The issue of Real Simple featuring THE FAMILY GROOVE is out now. We're in an article called "Best Parenting Sites" and dubbed "Best Daily Destination."
Today I learned: It's always darkest before dawn.
I am: Working—but at least I have the TV on. It makes me feel a little better about working on Sunday night.
Tomorrow I will: Move forward.

Freedom

2008-08-14T08:37:00.003-04:00

Wake up: 6:50 am
Slept for: Not sure what time I fell asleep.
First thought is: Must get up, work for an hour and must, must, must go to the gym.
Baby is: Rolling over, holding things, reaching for things, making cause and effect connections.
This is: Exciting. I am loving watching him come alive—and being present to it.
Daughter is: Watching her shows.
This is: Good, bad. I dunno. Kids love shows, right?
Man is: On edge.
This is: Ending soon, I hope.
Goal for the day: Get back on track. I didn't go to the gym for days and not having that anchor lampooned me into the stratosphere of wanton eating and thinking.
Kabbalah says: "Today, focus on what you really want from all of the things you're filling your life with right now. If you don't know why you busy ourselves with your spiritual work, your friends, or your careers, you can never expect to see the results you wanted when you first started out."
Arrive at gym: 8 am
Workout is: Not so great. I was not into it. I am tired and unmotivated—but I went it and I went through the motions. I know how I operate. Tomorrow I'll be more into it and then by the weekend, I'll be back with gusto.
Today's song is: Freedom by George Michael
Best lyric is: Heaven knows I was just a young boy
Didn't know what I wanted to be
I want: Someone to make me an egg white omelet. I guess that's called a restaurant. Getting out of the house with two kids would mean an egg white omelet for lunch at this point.
I love: John Galliano.
I wish: We were friends.
I am totally, majorly obsessing over:
Being a mom means:
Being a wife means:
Being a business owner means:
Out of the mouths of babes:
Today I ate: Egg whites, 1/2 avocado and salsa for breakfast, mango for snack, chicken soup for lunch + will eat salad and sushi for dinner. Oh, and a protein bar and a few chips. Why? Why did I do the chips?
Today I drank: Some water. Not enough.
Work was: I've been working on the same article since 10. It just won't flow—that and I've had to do other work in the interim.
Today I learned: Just when you think you know something, you realize that you're just scratching the surface of it.
I am: Full. The late afternoon need for feeding frenzy hasn't set in. I think the protein bar helped. It was a much better day today with regard to everything: outlook, mood, energy level, self-control, drive. I attribute it directly to working out. People, you have to get moving!
Tomorrow I will: Welcome the next lesson.

Karma Police

2008-08-12T06:51:00.004-04:00

Wake up: 6:24 am
Slept for: Just over 6 hours.
First thought is: A rundown of my dreams, all of which were quite bizarre. In one, I was in a car with Scarlett and my dad and she was insisting on showing us some trick she did with the baby's car seat (no baby in it). She took it out of the car, which was now pulled over in on-coming traffic, and proceeded to play in the traffic—like that old awful thing that mean parents used to say: "Go play in traffic!".
Baby is: Talking to the hanging bears on his Pack-n-Play.
This is: Cute, sweet—and a little guilt-inducing. I should play with him.
Daughter is: Starting school full-time in two weeks.
This is: As a first time mom, you never really think it's going to happen.
Man is: Pass.
This is: Pass.
Goal for the day: To write. I have a ton of writing to do.
Kabbalah says: "We all reach points in our days when we don't understand. It can be a relationship challenge, a health issue, which direction to do with our career, a difficult passage of study, a momentous business decision. We all get those 'not-knowing' moments.

The way to see with clarity is, according to Rav Ashlag, to stretch. Not physically [though a forward bend always does wonders.] But to really do something that is outside your zone of comfort, out of the norm. When we elevate above the normal course of things, the Light responds in kind.

Suddenly we understand what we are reading, suddenly we know which doctor to go to, suddenly we see what limiting belief has been sabotaging our relationships. These moments of epiphany do not come from our brains, they come from the Light.

Go above your nature today. Really stretch your tolerance or patience or compassion or belief in yourself. Do something that will build the vessel for whatever it is that's beyond you to come in."
Arrive at gym: Nope.
Workout is: Nope.
Today's song is: Karma Police by Radiohead
Best lyric is: Karma police, arrest this man he talks in maths
He buzzes like a fridge
He's like a detuned radio
Best spam subject line: Really, there's been so little lately that I think I should get rid of this prompt.
I want: A cup of coffee from Balthazar.
I love: The mornings.
I wish: I felt like writing.
I am totally, majorly obsessing over: What if...
Being a mom means: Not letting the kids' simul-cry break you.
Being a wife means: Learning how to delay responses.
Being a business owner means: Making quiche from the eggs in your basket.
Out of the mouths of babes: "I need you, Mommy." That one kills.
Today I ate: Much better than yesterday, but still not perfectly.
Today I drank: Water, a cup of coffee and a protein shake with unsweetened almond milk.
Work was: Quiet. Very little frenzy. I am getting through everything I had on my list.
Today I learned: That success can take many shapes.
I am: Tired today. Not sure why. I haven't worked out in four days—that could be the answer.
Tomorrow I will: Work harder at learning the lessons.

Cherry Bomb

2008-08-11T12:38:00.004-04:00

Wake up: 5:50 am
Slept for: Almost 6 hours
First thought is: No going back to sleep after you feed the baby. You have work to do.
Baby is: Just getting up this minute. Can I type fast enough to out pace his chatter before it becomes cries?
This is: Not happening.
Daughter is: Doing so much better, attitude-wise. She's starting to understand things, her emotions, cause and effect much more deeply.
This is: A relief...until the next hurdle.
Man is: Working.
This is: Same as it ever was.
Goal for the day: Not be burnt out.
Kabbalah says: "Love thy neighbor as thyself"
Arrive at gym: Ugh. Not yet. Probably can't go later. Today is one mother of a work day and night.
Workout is: How many calories do you burn while typing?
Today's song is: Cherry Bomb by Joan Jett
Best lyric is: I'm the fox you've been waiting for
It's the best because: Fox is a fab word.
I want: A drink.
I love: The women I am blessed to connect with on a daily basis.
I wish: Anthony Robbins or Forum classes were mandatory.
I am totally, majorly obsessing over: Pamela Anderson. Love her.
Being a mom means: Laundry.
Being a wife means: Having separate offices. Smart.
Being a business owner means: Ups and downs—really, all-in-all, they're better than middles.
Out of the mouths of babes: I should carry a journal for this one. Scarlett drops so many hysterical one-liners but, lately, I can't seem to retain any of them.
Today I ate: I don't completely remember. I didn't preplan my menu like I usually do, so I was popping bites of this and nibbles (hate that word, actually) of that into my mouth all day long.
Today I drank: Practically nothing—maybe one glass of water. So bad!
Work was: Interesting. On the high, we are in Real Simple Family, which is on newsstands on August 18. It's their annual Family special issue.
Today I learned: The more you learn, the harder the lessons get.
I am: Possibly going to have that drink but I will definitely follow it up with some water.
Tomorrow I will: Get back on track. Do I say that everyday or what?

Pretty in Pink

2008-08-08T12:50:00.004-04:00

Wake up: 6 am
Slept for: Hmmm... I had a martini last night and passed out as soon as I got into bed. I fooled myself into thinking that I'd just sit down for a few minutes before I got up to clean up the downstairs and do some work. That never works.
First thought is: I feel a bit rough today. I hate that feeling.
Baby is: Not sleeping a wink today so far.
This is: Patience-trying.
Daughter is: Totally potty trained for a couple of weeks now. I just decided she had to do it and she went for it. Kids take cues from their parents. I think she knew that I was ready.
This is: A sigh of relief.
Man is: Fixing my mom's computer.
This is: Nice of him.
Goal for the day: Feel better from last night's drink.
Kabbalah says: Whenever we feel depressed, unfulfilled or anxious, it's because we have lost touch with god.
First bananas thought: Daily Candy just sold to Comcast for 125 million. This thought has been on the top of my queue since Amy told me yesterday.
Arrive at gym: Didn't go. Had to clean this morning.
Workout is: Not going to happen today but if I go tomorrow and Sunday, then I'll still get in 5 days.
Today's song is: Pretty in Pink by Psychedelic Furs
Best lyric is: She lives in the place in the side our lives where nothing is ever put straight
I want: The simplicity of years gone by.
I love: Romanticized hindsight.
I wish: Late nights weren't punished by early mornings.
I am totally, majorly obsessing over: The Magic Eraser. It's no joke: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Melamine_foam
Being a mom means: Getting your kids paper towels, even when they're 30.
Being a wife means: Knowing when to support your man.
Being a business owner means: Never, ever taking your eye off of the prize.
Today I ate: Overall pretty good. I even went out to dinner and didn't completely blow it. I think after a while of being disciplined, it kind of becomes habit.
Today I drank: Water, iced white tea and two martinis—but I spilled the first one after drinking one-third.
Work was: Very productive—which gives me hope for a productive weekend.
Today I learned: It's easy to revert to old habits. You constantly have to be aware of your thoughts. I have to practice not reacting.
I am: Going to start to think more big picture.
Tomorrow I will: Do more. I am starting to plateau a bit on the mental-front.

I Am the Highway

2008-08-07T06:14:00.003-04:00

Wake up: 4:40 am—the baby got up. I can't really complain though. He usually sleeps past 6. He actually had gotten up at 3-something but Shawn got him back to sleep for an hour.
Slept for: About five and a half hours.
First thought is: Guess I have to get up this time.
Baby is: Back to sleep now. At 5:30, after he was done eating, I thought about going back to sleep, but I realized my time would be better served if I got some work done.
This is: Great...for now. Presently, I feel ready to take on the world. I am sure that I'll be tired by 9.
Daughter is: Three. She's just three years old and she has every bit of the attitude of a teenager—or at least what I remember having as a teenager. When I told her she couldn't do something last night, she told me that she didn't love me. I couldn't believe it. How did that concept even enter into her brain? She later apologized and then proceeded to tell me that she loved me and have her dollies tell me that they love me.
This is: Honestly, kind of hurtful. I mean, I get it, and I contained it (didn't let the thoughts turn into other thoughts and feelings), but I can't help but being a bit taken aback.
Man is: Well, my mom has a saying: "Stick a broom up my butt and I'll sweep, too." Lovely.
Anyway, this would sum his week up.
This is: Just how it goes. I do wonder about when we will reach a point where he isn't working 70+ hours a week and doing so much for everyone else and mowing the lawn and pulling the weeds and fixing up the house and fixing everyone's computers. I guess that's kind of what dads do—or good dads. The lawn stuff could be crossed off of his list—but he says he actually likes it.
Goal for the day: Eat clean, clean the house, workout, work
Kabbalah says: "Chaos is the misperception that there are no connections. In fact, everything is connected. Everything."
First bananas thought: Yes, we have no bananas. We have no bananas today.
Arrive at gym: 7:50 am
Workout is: Cardio only. I really pushed myself. I saw how it was my instinct to slow down and labor more when the plane or the level got higher. I didn't let it happen for more than a second though. I consciously made an effort to continue to push hard and remain on the same level of intensity regardless of how difficult the course continued to get. Then, at the end, I started to slow down—say, about ten seconds before the course was over. But I picked it back up. Taking things to 100 percent with maximum intensity, drive and focus is what life is all about. Imagine if we all were always at 100 percent with things: our word, our follow through, our actions, our health regimes, our one-on-one time with our kids or our mates. Imagine what kind of a world we'd live in. It's all about driving. You just have to keep driving.
Today's song is: I Am the Highway by Audioslave
Best lyric is: Friends and liars don't wait for me
'Cause I'll get on all by myself
Best spam subject line: I have only 5 emails in my junk mail. I can't believe it. I wonder if Comcast strengthened its firewall or if the spammers have moved on.
It's the best because: What, I'm not spam worthy now?
I want: Solar panels like Larry Hagman has.
I love: When my hair dries well. Hey, you can be deep all the time!
I wish: I had a white Halston pants suit a la Bianca Jagger.
I am totally, majorly obsessing over: Following the daily eating plan that I devise for myself nightly.
Being a mom means: Focus.
Being a wife means: Being on the same page.
Being a business owner means: Going big or going home. Wait, I am home. Okay, just going big.
Out of the mouths of babes: "You're in a time out!" Now, we haven't really put her in time outs yet. I put her in one once. So, this is coming from school. My little angel baby in a time out? Gasp!
Today I ate: Mixed veggie juice (fresh), shot of wheat grass, salad of romaine, strawberries, almond slivers, 1/4 avocado, lemon juice and olive oil (I am living for this salad), protein shake with almond milk. Tonight I'll have fish and vegetables. We're probably going out for dinner, so I am sure I'll have a drink. I wish that I could abstain. I mean, I know I have a choice. I know that I am in control of it, but I also know that I will want to have a drink once we're out.
Today I drank: Hot water with lemon in the morning, water all day and 1/4 cup of coffee with almond milk. I have been up since 4:50 this morning—I had to do something.
Work was: Layered.
Today I learned: The truth shall set you free. Speak it—even if you think that it won't be accepted. Speak the truth.
I am: Messing with my cuticles.
Tomorrow I will: Be closer to attaining my goals.

The Glamorous Life

2008-08-06T07:12:00.005-04:00

Wake up: 6:20 am
Slept for: Maybe 7 hours
First thought is: How long can I ignore the baby's babbling before it turns a definite cry?
Baby is: A devil in disguise.
This is: Genetic.
Daughter is: Starting school (five days a week!) next month.
This is: So exciting...for me. I loved school.
Man is: "Working. Nothing exciting. Same shit."
This is: Him getting annoyed at the daily "Man is" question.
Goal for the day: Eat cleanly, breathe, deal with the stress that greeted me the minute I opened my eyes.
Kabbalah says: " When we don't resolve conflicts in our relationships, our lives can't move forward."
First bananas thought: Maybe I should juice (or shake) breakfast and lunch and then have a sensible dinner—everyday.
Arrive at gym: I might not be able to go today unless I go after 9. I have a meeting tonight at 7 and then a ton of work scheduled for this evening. Today might be my day off.
Workout is: Well, I can still do sit ups and push ups and arms. Actually, I could do a real home workout courtesy of one of our many awesome home routines a la Lori Sawyer.
Today's song is: The Glamorous Life by Sheila E—though I am sure that Prince wrote. He wrote everything in the 80s. He was the 80s Barry Gibb.
Best lyric is: She wears a long coat of mink even in the summertime
Best spam subject line: No great subject lines, but the FBI did send me a very important note about terrorism and ATM fraud.
It's the best because: I am very important, you know.
I want: Not to wear my gym clothes all day today—and maybe even to put on a bit of makeup. Ooooh, makeup. Yes. And the worst part is that my gym clothes sometimes double for pajamas. It confuses Scarlett.
I love: That there's a health food store down the road from my house. Score one for the suburbs! Today I got a two ounce shot of wheat grass and a carrot, beet, celery and mixed greens freshly squeezed juice.
I wish: I had my own juicer. I actually think I might have one, now that I am thinking about it.
I am totally, majorly obsessing over: My new washer and dryer. The latter broke and the former was on the fritz. Anyway, there's front-loading and they're heaven. The washer uses 65 percent less water. 65 percent! And both machines use less energy. In fact, somehow the clothes come out of the washer not as wet, so the dryer has less work to do, which equals less energy use. Also, there's no agitator on the dryer, so the quality of the clothes remains in tact. The ones we got were really not much more than the regular ones.
Being a mom means: Slowing down, even when you want to go, go, go.
Being a wife means: Having a strategy.
Being a business owner means: Also having a strategy.
Out of the mouths of babes: "You're welcome. It was no pleasure."
Today I ate: Mixed greens, carrot and beet drink for breakfast, spinach, strawberry, 1/4 avocado and sliced almonds topped with lemon juice and a drizzle of olive oil for lunch, protein shake with almond milk (good, low cal, low fat and even has a little fiber—and it's on the alkaline list) for snack. Dinner will be chicken or veggie burger with slightly steamed vegetables. Does menu totally rule or what? Mean and clean, people!
Today I drank: Hot water with lemon before I ate or drank, as it were, anything this morning, water with lemon all day and a half a cup of coffee with almond milk. I am allowing myself the treat of two cups of coffee per week and two alcoholic drinks per week.
Work was: Well, work still is and will be until at least 10 tonight, save the 5:30 to 7:30 break for dinner, bath and bed.
Today I learned: You have to know how to read the signs. Opportunity doesn't always come in a pretty package, but everything that comes your way, good and bad, is a chance to fulfill your dreams and attain your goals.
I am: A might bit speedy from the coffee. Loves it!
Tomorrow I will: Eat at well as I did today. It totally made all the difference in how I felt on all levels. Feeling good physically directly impacts your state of mind. And having a strong and clear state of mind allows you to be much more in tune with the universe and the divine order of things.

Daydream Believer

2008-08-04T11:14:00.004-04:00

Wake up: 6:02 am
Slept for: I really, truly do not know. I don't remember getting into bed last night. I don't remember watching TV (which is how I usually know what time it is). I don't remember anything about last night, including getting ready for bed, even though I know I did. Strange.
First thought is: Good lord! I don't remember that either.
Baby is: Down for his morning nap.
This is: Glory, glory hallelujah. And I have the window open (it's right in front of my desk) so the heavenly breeze eases into and out of my office, reminding me that there's life outside of this screen.
Daughter is: At camp. She ran in today—quite a difference from a month ago. And she's wearing undies. She's been wearing undies only on her off days but I realized that it's time I—uh, I mean her—make the final transition.
This is: Nerve wracking...for me.
Man is: "Slightly to moderately less grouchy than yesterday."
This is: Good.
Goal for the day: Energy up!
Kabbalah says: "Tell your problems about the light." Meaning, we tell god/the universe/whatever you want to call it about our problems, but god knows. God gave us those problems to force us to rise to the occasion and grow and share and connect. God never gives more than we can handle either. So, flip it today: grasp a hold of your problems and tell them about the light, the good stuff, the reason, the truth. And maybe they won't be problems after that little talk.
First bananas thought: I am going to interview Madonna for THE FAMILY GROOVE.
Arrive at gym: 7:00
Workout is: Rarely as long as I'd like it to be but still worthwhile. 400 calories burned in 38 minutes. By the way, those calories counters are just estimations. Every person's body is different—different burning rates, different metabolisms, etc.—so there'd be no way for those machines to truly figure out what you burned.
Today's song is: Daydream Believer by The Monkees (My first crush—or maybe second because I did love Donnie Osmond—was on Mickey Dolenz. Why not Davy is the question.)
Best lyric is: "Daydream believer"
Best spam subject line: Charlize Theron new boyfriend
It's the best because: Who cares about Charlize's boyfriend?
I want: Some water. I haven't had any water yet today.
I love: Wheat grass juice. Do it, people. Life changing.
I wish: I had my wishes in order. I never know what I wish for.
I am totally, majorly obsessing over: Being alkaline. Major. It's major.
Being a mom means: Reading books at bedtime, even though you have three loads of laundry to do, five bottles to wash, two articles to rewrite and one blog to finish.
Being a wife means: Stopping typing when your man is telling you about his game.
Being a business owner means: PR
Out of the mouths of babes: "When will the clouds stop holding onto the moon?
Today I ate: Cleanly. Mostly alkaline foods except I did eat too much fish for dinner and whole wheat bread with my lunch and vinegar on my salad, so it might have put me over the 80/20 split.
Today I drank: Water and an acai and vanilla protein smoothie.
Work was: Work is.
Today I learned: That fantasies are actually mini movies of the future. I didn't really learn that today; I've always known it. Though I only recently understand how powerful that truth is. I used fantasize about things, down to the detail of what I was wearing, and then the opportunity would arise for me to make it happen and I couldn't believe how lucky I was that I got to put my daydream into play. It happens. So start daydreaming. Do it often and get down the nitty gritty details of it. It's just prep work for the future.
I am: Debating whether or not I should take the computer into bed and put on the TV while I work. It's not a smart idea, but I'll do it anyway. I've been in my office for over 12 hours today.
Tomorrow I will: Plant seeds. It's a good week to do some planting.

Burning Down the House

2008-08-01T09:42:00.003-04:00

Wake up: 6:20 am
Slept for: Almost 7 hours
First thought is: I need to drink more water today.
Baby is: Laughing when Scarlett gets in trouble.
This is: The start of an interesting dynamic.
Daughter is: Taking hours to eat her breakfast. It's a control drama. It will pass I know, but it takes every ounce of patience and fortitude to not freak out at her and instead remain calm but stern.
This is: Tiring. I am actually tired from this morning's hour long misadventure.
Man is: Not looking so great. He just looks tired and worn out.
This is: From working too much, stress and eating too much sugar. That's going to stop.
Goal for the day: Do laundry, which is a big goal because my dryer broke again and so I have to do it at my mom's house, work and finish the cleanse, aka not eat for the fifth and final day.
Kabbalah says: Get rid of the word "should." It has nothing to do with intention and intention is key.
First bananas thought: I am going to majorly, totally clean every ounce of the kitchen—as thought in a most obsessive, this-has-to-be-done-so-I-can-breathe way.
Arrive at gym: 7:00 am
Workout is: Brief. I chatted with a friend on the way in, which ate up 5 minutes and I needed to be home by 7:35 at the latest to get Scarlett ready for camp. Sometimes 5 minutes makes a difference, though you have to think that there was a higher purpose to the 5 minute exchange that superseded the extra 5 on the Precor.
Today's song is: Burning Down the House by Talking Heads
Best lyric is: Watch out, you might get what you're after
Best spam subject line: No great line but great sender name: Yarbrough T. Willard.
It's the best because: It sounds a name Homer would make up for a detective.
I want: Grains and steamed vegetables. Seriously. This cleanse has kicked out all sugar and crap food cravings.
I love: That you can always start from one.
I wish: All of the evening's household to-dos were done. There should be someone who comes in at 5, feeds your kids, bathes them, reads to them, puts them to sleep and straightens up the house—not every night, but at least three. I guess that's kind of what grandparents do, maybe minus the cleaning.
I am totally, majorly obsessing over: The pile on the right-hand side of my desk. Bad feng shui! Bad!
Being a mom means: Getting up periodically to coax my son back to sleep.
Being a wife means: Fighting to keep your eyes open at 10:30.
Being a business owner means: Friday night meetings, per usual. Amy did the cleanse, too. She now looks 18.
Out of the mouths of babes: "Whatchu mean?" This is her new catch phrase. It's very Arnold.
Today I ate: Day five of the Blueprint Cleanse. I couldn't finish any of the drinks. I just couldn't stomach them. It wasn't the not eating that was difficult, it was drinking of the same six tonics day in and day out. It worked though. I look great. I am not sure how much weight I lost because I didn't weigh myself until Tuesday. I do know that I lost 4 pounds between Tuesday morning and Friday morning. It's actually relatively high in calories (1700 per day),so it's not necessarily designed for weight loss. It's more for real, hard core cleansing. I can totally see it in my face and skin. Bad digestion shows up on your face. My pores are invisible now and my skin is glowing. For real. And the best part is that I don't crave any bad foods. All I want is brown rice and steamed vegetables—and, man, how I want it!
Today I drank: 6 cleansing tonics, water, tea.
Work was: A blur.
Today I learned: You have to push yourself. Once you make the decision to push through, you'll have the energy to do it.
I am: Going to get the tea that's been sitting on my kitchen counter since 8, going to fold a basket of laundry that's been sitting next to my bed since Wednesday, going to find a new home for my pocket book innards (I threw out my purse. It was Prada and it was fab, but it had seen better days. It was way, way old and held too much energy now).
Tomorrow I will: Use a new purse. New purse. New energy.

Waiting Room

2008-07-31T12:42:00.004-04:00

Wake up: 6:20 am
Slept for: 7 hours
First thought is: Not a thought so much as a quick body scan of how I felt. Answer: good but still have a slight hangover-feeling headache. This is day 4 of my five day cleanse.
Baby is: Going for his three month check up tomorrow, aka a source of anxiety, as are all doctor's visits nowadays due to confusion and worry over shots.
This is: Stressful and sad.
Daughter is: Sans sitter today. I'm already exhausted. Not complaining—just reporting. I know plenty of moms do it every day. It's just that today August issue launches and it's always a gangbusters day. There's so much blood, sweat and tears that go into making each issue and it's always nerve wracking, exciting and stressful when the issue goes live. I've worked it and loved it and hated it for so long, so to release it to the world is a big deal. Or I am just completely overly dramatizing things. Whatevs.
This is: What was I saying?
Man is: Out with daughter on a Play-Doh run. Though we're freakazoids so we buy her this non-chemical, non-China stuff. It's actually better than PD because it doesn't harden and dry out. I miss the old school PD smell though.
This is: Parenting in 2008.
Goal for the day: Send out all the barrage of emails to our list and editorial mentions about the new issue. Also, stressful because I so want people to like it. So co-dependent, I am.
Kabbalah says: "When we hit rock bottom, though it's painful physically, it is also a breaking of klipot [shells of negativity] that create barriers between us and our true fulfillment. Of course, no one wants to be in this position - it hurts! But at the same time, we want to have the courage to accept it. The faster we admit that the pain has a purpose, the faster it will fill its purpose and subsequently go away.Remember today that temporary pain prepares us to receive lasting fulfillment. Have the courage to fully experience your pain. You'll be surprised at the messages it can bring you."
First bananas thought: What if I juiced every day and just ate a sensible dinner?
Arrive at gym: 7:30-ish
Workout is: Good. I am glad I did it. I didn't feel up to working out yesterday.
Today's song is: Waiting Room by Fugazi
Best lyric is: And I won't make the same mistakes because I know who much time that wastes
Best spam subject line: I actually don't have that much in my junk folder today.
It's the best because: Yup.
I want: A scarf. I am feeling a scarf—for fashion, not for warmth.
I love: Thinking about new ways to be healthy.
I wish: There was a raw food place here.
I am totally, majorly obsessing over: Malibu. I want a house in Malibu.
Being a mom means: Many loads of laundry.
Being a wife means: Maybe, possibly not working tonight so I can see my man for more than five minutes.
Being a business owner means: Working most nights of the week.
Out of the mouths of babes: "You terribled me."
Today I ate: Day 4 of Blueprint Cleanse, baby. Going strong.
Today I drank: So far, four out of six juices. First, third and fifth ones have green things in them like kale, celery, cucumber, romaine, lemon (which I know is not green) parsley and green apple. Second one has pineapple, apple and mint. Fourth one has water, lemon, cayenne and agave. Last one has raw cashew nuts, agave, cinnamon and vanilla bean.
Work was: Well, is still going. I am getting it done though and learning a few things along the way.
Today I learned: To go against my instinct by not reacting.
I am: In the middle of a million things. I should get off this dang blog.
Tomorrow I will: Work and learn.

Love Man

2008-07-29T11:26:00.003-04:00

Wake up: 5:14 am
Slept for: 6 hours, up for 30 minutes, back to sleep for 45 minutes.
First thought is: How quickly can I feed this baby and get back to sleep before I have to get up at 6? Not quick enough was the answer. I reset the alarm for 6:30.
Baby is: Radiating love. It flips me out from time to time. It's so real and pure and godlike and intimate. It actually almost makes me feel uncomfortable to be in the presence of such real goodness and love.
This is: Something I need to work on, apparently.
Daughter is: Playing with her best friend (and babysitter), Meaghan.
This is: Lucky. We're very lucky to have her in our lives.
Man is: I wouldn't even endeavor to ask. He's so busy with the new issue and all the changes we're making.
This is: Stressful—for me. It doesn't seem to stress him out for some reason. I guess he just knows that he'll get it all done.
Goal for the day: Day 2 of Blueprint Cleanse is going along quite well. I'm not hungry at all. Like yesterday, I do miss the act of having lunch or a snack, but I can see that that feeling is on the wane. It's nice to be in total control.
Kabbalah says: Restrict. "Restriction (the decision not to have immediate gratification) is something we have to recommit to every morning if we want to steer our lives in new and exciting direction."First bananas thought: I could totally do this fast for weeks.
Arrive at gym: No gym today. I worked out with Lori Sawyer (www.mommy-moves.com). They tell you that you can still workout on the cleanse—in fact, they encourage it.
Workout is: Super duper. I could tell that I wasn't at 100 percent, but I still went for it.
Today's song is: Love Man by Otis Redding
Best lyric is: Six feet one weigh two hundred and ten
Best spam subject line: We need you to confirm your personal information
It's the best because: it's so mean.
I want: I always have to sit back and think on this one. Same with "I wish." I dunno. Umm....
I want to lose 8 pounds this week. I wouldn't normally set out to lose so much. It's actually unhealthy to lose so much. However, I think I will lose that much between the fast and then eating lightly post-fast (which you are supposed to do for a few days).
I love: When the way things are supposed to be starts to show itself to you.
I wish: That everyone reading this would donate to The Pediatric Epilepsy Project. Evan, the son of Vicki Forman, a friend of TFG, fellow blogger on our Blog page, gracious and eloquent writer and truly inspiration woman—you know, one of those people who leaves you better than they found you because they're so steeped in truth and goodness—has passed away. Please click here to read her blog (scroll down to read a few posts) and find out how you can donate—even if it's five dollars. You will be moved by her story.
I am totally, majorly obsessing over: Everything and nothing.
Being a mom means: Supporting other women.
Being a wife means: Having another adult around to soak up some of the insanity.
Being a business owner means: Working, even when you are exhausted, to get the job done.
Today I ate: Blueprint Cleanse day 2 went well. I wasn't tired or hungry, but I did sorely miss food. I keep forgetting to bring up the details of the cleanse—and you know, I ain't going downstairs into the kitchen right now. Too much temptation.
Today I drank: All six juices, green and white teas and water.
Work was: A lot of writing.
Today I learned: What you focus on expands.
I am: Hearing the faint din of munchkin chatter. Let me check on this...Okay, daughter back into bed.
Tomorrow I will: Seek a spark of sauciness, Bernaise. My writing was a bit bland today.

Electric Avenue

2008-07-28T11:29:00.003-04:00

Wake up: 5:13 am
Slept for: Five hours. Up for 20 minutes, then back to sleep for two hours.
First thought is: It's so quiet. I wish I could sleep longer.
Baby is: If I had to title these first months, I would call them "Frampton Comes Alive." I love the whole process of a baby's awakening. You think that they're so alert until you realize how much more alert they've become. He's so alive now. I can't wait for more.
This is: Mostly exciting and good, save the scant times when I feel sad that he's not teeny tiny anymore.
Daughter is: Doing this funny thing where she feigns being mad and attempts to fold her arms in protest. I guess she's not feigning—I mean, she is mad. She's more overly dramatizing how angry she is. However, she winds up doing a genie thing with her arms a la I "Dream of Jeannie."
This is: Really, really funny. I almost want to tell her that she's doing it incorrectly, but I think I'll let her sort it out.
Man is: "Yummers."
This is: His answer.
Goal for the day: Juice it. Today is Day 1 of the Blueprint Cleanser. So far, so good—though I do feel a bit light-headed. I recall this feeling from other cleanses I've done. It doesn't last long.
Kabbalah says: Like attracts like.
First bananas thought: Nothing yet. All I can think about is juice.
Arrive at gym: Planning on going tonight, as long as I feel up to it.
Workout is:
Today's song is: Electric Avenue by Eddy Grant
Best lyric is: Working so hard like a solider
Can't afford a thing on TV
Best spam subject line: Offer 4 U
It's the best because: Did Prince send it?
I want: A jumpsuit.
I love: This cleanse. It is so good. I wasn't hungry at all and I have so much energy, it's almost bizarre. There are six juices. The green ones are a bit funky, but they grow on you and the other ones are so delish. I am so interested to see how I feel tomorrow.
I wish: Everyone realized that they are in control of their happiness.
I am totally, majorly obsessing over: Buzzin. Really. And I don't know why.
Being a mom means: Not watching trashy shows around your kids.
Being a wife means: Keeping your pappy happy.
Being a business owner means: Giving 'em what they want—before they know they want it.
Out of the mouths of babes: "What's a brag queen?"
Today I ate: Nothing.
Today I drank: I'll detail it tomorrow.
Work was: A bit quiet, actually.
Today I learned: That what you focus on expands.
I am: Alone with the baby. My mom is doing the dinner and bath thing for Ms. Thing at her house and Shawn is playing baseball. Who knew the 6 and 7 o'clock hour could be so calm?
Tomorrow I will: Stay focused and produce.

Juicy

2008-07-25T11:18:00.009-04:00

Wake up: 5:45 am
Slept for: Almost 6 hours
First thought is: I have a cold. I've been pounding Coldease tea and acai juice for the past five hours and I used the neti pot. There is no time for a cold.
Baby is: Sleeping on my bed next to me, as I type away on this blog post, putting off the next article that I have to write. He passed out after feeding him and there's no way that I'm going to risk waking him just to get him into this crib and me into my office. Laptops rule.
This is: Not as comfortable as working in my office. Daughter is: At camp—gone from 9 to 3:30. Whoa! (as said in Joey voice).
This is: Whoa!
Man is: "I don't know. This is why I don't have a daily blog."
This is: Him.
Goal for the day: Beat this cold.
Kabbalah says: "If you are beating yourself up because you don't do enough, then it's just your ego talking. But if you are genuinely motivated by these thoughts, then it's your soul speaking."
First bananas thought: I really for some reason think that Harvey Weinstein can help us.
Arrive at gym: No gym today. Not feeling well. I should have gone though—I bet I would have felt better.
Workout is: Going to have to happen tomorrow.
Today's song is: Juicy by Biggie
Best lyric is: I let my tape rock 'til my tape popped
Best spam subject line: Boobies that boggles the mind
It's the best because: The "s" on "boggles."
I want: A cup of tea—and some sympathy.
I love: Tea and Sympathy in NYC.
I wish: The suburbs had better restaurants.
I am totally, majorly obsessing over: Cleansing
Being a mom means: Mustering energy when you just want to crawl into bed.
Being a wife means: Someone to put the kids to bed when you don't feel well.
Being a business owner means: Macro thinking and micro working.
Out of the mouths of babes: "You're the best boy mom and I could ever love"—as said to her dad.
Today I ate: Super duper mondo cleanly—except for the half cookie and bite of cake at Whole Foods.
Today I drank: Water and tea.
Work was: Victor victorious.
Today I learned: Feeling good and being healthy makes all the difference.
I am: Humbled.
Tomorrow I will: Strip away more layers.

I'm Afraid of Americans

2008-07-24T07:29:00.008-04:00

Wake up: 6:00 am
Slept for: Maybe 6 and a half hours. I know I fell asleep before the end of the 11 pm re-airing of PR.
First thought is: Of Les Deux Gamins. It's long-been closed but the rain reminded me of it.
Baby is: Looking like a cartoon character of a baby.
This is: Cute. Though I often wonder about if he weren't so cute, would I so willingly do all of the tedious things for him. Willingly being the operative word—of course I'd still do them and I'd still love him but him being cute makes it easier. Oh, is this why all parents think their kids are cute? Is this nature's way of ensuring that a baby gets taken care of?
Daughter is: Sleeping in our bed with her head on my pillow. She looks huge. She came in pretty late/early morning—maybe 3 or so. She kept me up, twirling my hair. Where's the sleep fairy when you need her?
This is: I don't know. I am so tired when I am sleeping that I just don't even have the mojo to deal.
Man is: Working on new edition, fixing daughter's sunglasses, sewing daughter's shirt, exercising, spending time with family.
This is: Very 220, 221—whatever it takes.
Goal for the day: Get all my work done. This will be a feat since I don't have a sitter today.
Kabbalah says: Count your blessings. "We all have blessings in our lives even if we're having trouble finding a husband or making money or getting our lives on track or battling illness or depression. Even when life seems its darkest, there's always a pilot Light burning. Somewhere. You wouldn't be reading this if there wasn't Light pulsing through your being."
First bananas thought:
Arrive at gym: 8:30-ish.
Workout is: Quick (the fat burning program—33 minutes). It's better than nothing. Will do weights at home.
Today's song is: I'm Afraid of Americans by David Bowie
Best lyric is: God is an American
Best spam subject line: Britney Spears pregnant with antichrist
It's the best because: Of the whole Rosemary's Baby thing
I want: To know who got bounced from PR—because waiting to catch one of the hundred times the episode is re-aired is not acceptable, apparently.
I love: Knowing that things will be okay.
I wish: I don't really wish for anything today.
I am totally, majorly obsessing over: Using the term "pop off" as much as I can, for the sheer comedy of it—even though I am the only one who finds it so humurous.
Being a mom means: Patience, patience, patience. Of which, I don't have much, but I am learning.
Being a wife means: Trading new and unusual songs.
Being a business owner means: Living outside of your comfort zone for everything.
Out of the mouths of babes: "Grandma, you look better in this picture," said while pointing to a recent (though airbrushed) photo of my mom that sits next to one of her at 36.
Today I ate: Very cleanly except for half a cookie, which instantly gave me a bit of a stomach ache.
Today I drank: Not nearly enough water.
Work was: Swirling—one of those days that has you versus you having it.
Today I learned: Who got kicked off of PR. It took five seconds to click onto the Bravo site and find out. It wasn't fulfilling. Everything is too accessible nowadays.
I am: Going to get some tea.
Tomorrow I will: Cut out coffee in preparation for my Blueprint Cleanse that commences on Monday.

Imperial Teen

2008-07-23T09:42:00.009-04:00

Wake up: 5:50 am
Slept for: 6 and a half hours
First thought is: Why does he sleep on the mornings I need him to be up and get up when I'd rather him sleep?
Baby is: Easy. I really shouldn't think complaining thoughts.
This is: An easy thing to eliminate (ungrateful thoughts and thoughts about situations I can do nothing about and will sort out on their own). Ditching those kinds of thoughts will instantly free up energy that is much better invested into something else.
Daughter is: On the brink of entering into Childhood (a must-read Neil Postman's Disappearance of Childhood). It's magical—this time in her life, not Postman's book. His book is insightful and a bit of a call to arms.
This is: So fun for me to be a part of.
Man is: "Working hardily"
This is: Layered.
Goal for the day: Keep my heart open and slay the invasive, energy-sucking thoughts with love and light.
Kabbalah says: "Without knowing your true desires, you don't stand much of a chance of attaining them."
First bananas thought: No bananas today.
Arrive at gym: Tonight!
Workout is: Going to happen.
Today's song is: Imperial Teen by Imperial Teen
Best lyric is: I'm up to my neck in party favors, pesticides and pills
Best spam subject line: Brazilian beauty babes having the hots for you
It's the best because: People really fall for this?
I want: Egg whites, portobello mushrooms and avocado on a whole wheat wrap.
I love: Korean delis—or whatever the PC term is for them now.
I wish: The suburbs did more delivery. I guess that wouldn't be very eco-cool.
I am totally, majorly obsessing over: Cleansing next week.
Being a mom means: Making mac and cheese...a lot.
Being a wife means: Having your own in-house support system.
Being a business owner means: Marathon running.
Out of the mouths of babes:
Today I ate: High fiber cereal and skim milk, cod and salad, sauteed vegetables and white beans—and bites of that dang mac and cheese. It is my kryptonite.
Today I drank: Water—oh, and coffee. I always forget to mention that. It's usually about 1/2 a cup—though some days are multiple cuppers.
Work was: Up and down.
Today I learned: Chewing gum really helps to curb your appetite. The act of chewing distracts you from eating, especially since most eating is not hunger-based, but boredom/habit-based.
I am: Practically just in the middle of my day—or at least it feels like it. The day flew by and I still have so much to accomplish.
Tomorrow I will: Practice restricting my reactions to things even more.

Everybody's Got Their Something

2008-07-22T11:20:00.005-04:00

Wake up: 6:00 am
Slept for: Six hours
First thought is: Do I have enough time to get out of the house by 6:30?
Baby is: Getting over his colicky time.
This is: A relief. The doctor said it'd only last a few weeks and she was right.
Daughter is: Going through such a rapid emotional growth spurt at present. Are all ages from now on like this?
This is: Almost daunting to watch but also very inspiring. I am inspired to grow, too.
Man is: Let me email him to see...He says: Working, just working...
This is: I don't know, really.
Goal for the day: Restriction. Clean body. Clean mind.
Kabbalah says: Go against your nature and do what's uncomfortable.
First bananas thought: Oh, lordy—too many to recount.
Arrive at gym: Worked out with Lori Sawyer (www.mommy-moves.com). It was awesome. At one point, I was sure I couldn't go on, but I did.
Workout is: Ah ah, push it.
Today's song is: Everybody's Got Their Something by Nikka Costa
Best lyric is: My face to the sky
Dreaming about just how high
I could go and I'll know
When I finally get there
Best spam subject line: Blair: I'm Not Gay, That's Just My Accent
It's the best because: It's sheer comedy.
I want: To do the Blueprint Cleanse. I thought I'd wait until the fall, but Amy just suggested we do it now and I'm totally into it. It scares me, so I know I have to do it.
I love: Finishing up my work for the day.
I wish: Me in a bikini with Caroline and Mikell in Miami circa 2003. The pic is right in front of me on my desk to motivate me to get back to where I once belonged.
I am totally, majorly obsessing over: Like 5,000 things—all fabulous.
Being a mom means: Understanding other moms' need to protect their children.
Being a wife means: Standing by your man—and nooging him. Does nudge come from nooge?
Being a business owner means: Don't stop believing.
Out of the mouths of babes: There were some gems today and while I endeavored to commit them to memory, lately my memory isn't so committed.
Today I ate: Egg whites, turkey on high fiber bread with mustard, a peach, popcorn, cod and salad.
Today I drank: Water and some red wine. Alcohol sucks. Seriously, it sucks the life out out of you.
Work was: Fast-paced.
Today I learned: It's not about where you start. It's about where you end up.
I am: Sure that the answers are here.
Tomorrow I will: Be even more sure.

Don't You Worry 'Bout a Thing

2008-07-21T06:33:00.009-04:00

Wake up: 5:50 am
Slept for: About 6 hours
First thought is: Why am I so tired?
Baby is: Hanging in his Kick & Play, trying to sort out how grab the hanging things.
This is: Entertaining him long enough for me to start this post and perhaps make coffee.
Daughter is: Very sweet to him. And he absolutely, wholly adores her. I understand why he's into Shawn and me (we take care of him) but to see this natural response to his sister is so interesting.
This is: Normal, I know—but still fascinating to witness.
Man is: Still sleeping right now.
This is: Fine—he went to bed later than I did. The amount of work required to create and maintain THE FAMILY GROOVE is simply staggering.
Goal for the day: Keep my focus and energy level up. I can feel it on the wane a bit because it's been on high for so long. I used to know a woman called High Voltage (seriously) and her whole things was "Energy Up!" Saying it (kinda actually works) and doing things to support it like working out and cutting out sugar, salt, white flour, high sugar foods like carrots, corn, white potatoes, etc. She got Kylie and Danni Minogue into bomb-ass shape, amongst other celebs. She was onto something.
Kabbalah says: "Move towards that joy today. Let it color your every thought and action. When you lose focus, bring it back to the joy."
First bananas thought: I'm a bit to dim (being very dim—who gets that literary reference?) to get to the bananas level yet.
Arrive at gym: Going tonight after DB3 (dinner, bath, bed, book).
Workout is: Better late than never. Walked into the gym at 9:10 pm or so. I am warrior though. Shooting at the walls of heartache. Bang. Bang. Warriors come out and pla-a-y-yay.
Today's song is: Don't You Worry 'Bout a Thing by Stevie Wonder—I though it was just organically in my head, but I just realized that it's used in a commercial and I have the news on in the background.
Best lyric is:
Everybody's got a thing
But some don't know how to handle it
Always reachin' out in vain
Accepting the things not worth having
Best spam subject line: Angelina Jolie...
It's the best because: You know you've imprinted on the popular consciousness when you're used in a spam. It might be my second goal, after being a commentator on VHI. I mean, seriously, I know a few people who do it. What's the big deal about them? No offense to them.
I want: To be a freakin' commentator on VHI shows. Who knows more about pop culture than me? Okay, many people, but I'd still do a good job.
I love: Sparkling water. Seriously, I didn't realize I had it in the house until this evening. Drinking it feels gratifying. It's interactive—and it makes me feel fancy.
I wish: Miley Cyrus wouldn't take the Hannah Montana wig off. She looks much better as a blond.
I am totally, majorly obsessing over: Grandiose, cinematic scenes in mind that romanticize my day-to-day.
Being a mom means: Calming your own frenetic self down for the sake of your kids.
Being a wife means: Learning that Jeremy Shockey got traded to the Saints.
Being a business owner means: Do do do do do do do do do Do do do do do do do do do
Do the hustle Do do do do do do do do do Do do do do do do do do do
Out of the mouths of babes: "I am going to marry Emmet and Gabby is going to marry me."
Today I ate: Clean and lean.
Today I drank: Water.
Work was: Intense and productive. We signed with MTVN today.
Today I learned: You don't ask, you don't get.
I am: Going to shower and get back to work.
Tomorrow I will: Pull back the curtain even more.

Dragula

2008-07-20T10:52:00.005-04:00

Wake up: 6:45 am
Slept for: Almost 7 hours
First thought is: Thank goodness the baby slept so late.
Baby is: Bored. I totally think he is bored.
This is: Something I can do something about. I have to engage him more. He's almost ready for that play station thingy. What's it called? Oh, yes. The exersaucer.
Daughter is: Out and about with her grandmother, dressed as if she were going to lunch with the Queen.
This is: Cute, yet puzzling.
Man is: Playing softball. His two hours a week out of the house is over in an hour.
This is: Actually not true. He plays one night a week, for a total of four hours out of the house.
Emails to check: 30 something.
Goal for the day: Do things that will sustain my positive feelings like eating cleanly, folding the pile of towels on my bed versus watching them sit there all day (bad feng shui), drinking lots of water, completing my work to-do lists sans grumblings, etc.
Kabbalah says: "How much pain and trouble is caused because we misinterpret what people say and do to us? It's our ego-centric nature to think the worst and to take everything personally. It's not in our nature to think, I wonder what's going on for him right now? What pain inside caused him to do or say that?"
First bananas thought: I could change my blog name to MWA (Mothers with Attitude). Nah. You have to be pretty badass to pull an NWA pastiche like that off.
Arrive at gym: 9:50 am
Workout is: Just cardio—33 minutes of a weight burning program. I had half an hour of coverage from my mom since Shawn was at his game. I only worked out four times this week—and I begged, borrowed and stole those workouts. It's very difficult to get the time when you're working constantly as well as the sitter coverage when you do have a hot minute to go. It's worth it though. You have to hustle, but it's worth it.
Today's song is: One of the best workout songs ever: Dragula by Rob Zombie
Best lyric is: It's not about the lyrics. It's about the durgy, speed metally guitars.
Best spam subject line: Flat earth society disbanded.
It's the best because: WTF?
I want: To amend my "Today I learned" from yesterday. I learned or I should have learned that fresh bread is my crack cocaine. Bread is whack.
I love: Mondays—unlike Bob Geldof.
I wish: People saw the tumult and strain of the times as an opportunity for growth and change instead of complaining about it ad nauseum.
I am totally, majorly obsessing over: These little bumps on my arms that I get, apparently, postpartum. A lot of moms seem to get them and they do go away eventually, but they're a drag in the interim.
Being a mom means: Being hella organized and planning everything.
Being a wife means: I don't know but I am starting to think this topic would make a good book. I bet a lot of women struggle with that question.
Being a business owner means: Thinking big, but working small.
Out of the mouths of babes:
Today I ate: I'm doing well except for the piece(s) of dark chocolate, which actually gave me a headache.
Today I drank: Water.
Work was: Well, it's way still going. It's going going for a while.
Today I learned: Not sure yet.
I am: 32. I'm freakin' 32. How did I get to be 32?
Tomorrow I will: Reharness my waning energy and push on. I'm thinking it's time to get meditation back into my life.

Street Fighting Man

2008-07-19T21:47:00.005-04:00

Wake up: 5:oo-ish
Slept for: 6 hours
First thought is: So many thoughts ricocheted against the walls of my mind today—I couldn't tell you my first thought, if you paid me.
Baby is: Got some little rashy thing on his right cheek. Poor little man. Scarlett never had anything like that. He's all drooly too. She almost never drooled.
This is: It's kinda ugly, I have to say. He's still a dreamboat though.
Daughter is: Doing so majorly great with the potty training. We're just about there.
This is: Good because we've got a little over month to nail it.
Man is: Watering the grass. Yes. Right now. At 9:52 pm.
This is: The first time we've had to water the grass all year.
Emails to check: Today was a less than busy Saturday, emails-wise.
Goal for the day: Finish my work—which I did! And the best part was that there was no other work to do like laundry, cleaning or Whole Fooding. We did all that during the week, including food shopping, which Shawn and Scarlett did last night. I swear, it was almost like a vacation day today, what with only have to concentrate on work and the kids.
Kabbalah says: To ask the light for help. And so I have.
First bananas thought: Oh my! There were so many today. My mom sat in back of Madonna and her brood at services today. This nugget started me on a speeding train of thoughts, ranging from we'll get her to do a TFG interview to we'll get her to invest in the company. It ended, as Madonna fantasies do, with us being friends.
Arrive at gym: 3:30-ish
Workout is: Good. Preprogrammed weight loss course. Burned 400 calories in 33 minutes.
Today's song is: Street Fighting Man by The Rolling Stones—but I was thinking Street Fighting Mom. And I momentarily considered changing my blog title to that, but, really, I'm no street fighter.
Best lyric is:
Hey! Think the time is right for a palace revolution
But where I live the game to play is compromise solution
Best spam subject line: Guinness record boobs
It's the best because: Guinness record boobs? Because it's freakin' hysterical.
I want: To go to sleep.
I love: When the littles are sleeping.
I wish: I knew if I should nix this question. I'm not really a wisher.
I am totally, majorly obsessing over: Knocking down my house and rebuilding greenly—and getting a camera crew/TV show to document it.
Being a mom means: Going swimming with your daughter at 7, even though it's easier to stay home and clean up from the day.
Being a wife means: Thinking about someone else.
Being a business owner means: Focus and agility.
Out of the mouths of babes: "This is my jam!"
Today I ate: Well...until dinner. Same song, different day.
Today I drank: Not nearly enough water. Don't know why either.
Work was: What it was.
Today I learned: I am not alone.
I am: Really, truly tired—which I rarely am.
Tomorrow I will: Workout, work and Mommy.

Lucky Man

2008-07-17T09:00:00.007-04:00

Wake up: 4:50 am
Slept for: 5 1/2 hours
First thought is: No choice. Have to get up.
Baby is: Not up. Not even stirring. Of course. The one day I want him to be up so I can feed him and put him back to sleep in time to leave for training with Lori Sawyer (www.mommy-moves.com), he's stone cold sleeping.
This is: What it is. I woke him at 5:30 upon hearing the faintest peep. And my plan worked, he was back to crib by 6 and slept until 7 or so.
Daughter is: Being taught that she is in control of her thoughts and her happiness lives in her ability to make good decisions and understand that everything is a choice.
This is: Maaaaaajor.
Man is: Let me ask him. We're actually in the same room. "Man is:" Inaudible groan. "Making fake cookies." A few minutes later... "Man is: Using hot dogs for fingers."
This is: Patient of him.
Emails to check: An unusually small amount—something like 5.
Goal for the day: Get the hell out of my comfort zone—for everything.
Kabbalah says: This is my paraphrase: Go where the difficult is. If it's easy, then it's not for you. Out of the hard work and challenge, comes the light.
First bananas thought: I should write a book about how to overcome blowing your diet when you hit your bad eating hours. You know, for some it's from 5 to 7 (like me), for others it's earlier and for some it's late night but many of us hit a time when our resolve is withered and we make one bad food choice and then the flood gates open.
Arrive at gym: Arrived at Lori's at 6:25 am
Workout is: The best yet. I almost couldn't do it toward the end. I was dripping with sweat and just about ready to give up. That's how you're supposed to do it, people.
Today's song is: Lucky Man by The Verve
Best lyric is: But how many corners do I have to turn?
How many times do I have to learn
All the love I have is in my mind?
Best spam subject line: Madonna admits to adultery.
It's the best because: Just the mere mention of her Madgesty sends me.
I want: Ummm...nothing really.
I love: Kettle One martinis, shaken, dry, with olives.
I wish: Laundry folded itself. I think I wish this or some semblance of this fairly often. I should bigger my wishes.
I am totally, majorly obsessing over: A little rectangle of happiness called The Magic Eraser. Dudes, it is magic.
Being a mom means: One handed eating.
Being a wife means: Understanding traditional male and female roles. Now, it doesn't mean adhering to them, but you should understand the paradigm.
Being a business owner means: Faith.
Out of the mouths of babes: "Oh, Mommy, your dress is beeee-u-ti-fil. You look like a princess." About a dress that barely fit and, truly, honestly, looked terrible on me.
Today I ate: Super duper. So clean. Gold star for me.
Today I drank: Water and a martini.
Work was: Good.
Today I learned: It's best to kill 'em with kindness.
I am: Not going to edit that last article tonight. Mental juice fading...
Tomorrow I will: Stress less. Live more.

Synchronicity II

2008-07-16T07:33:00.008-04:00

Wake up: 5 am
Slept for: 6 hours
First thought is: I can't go to the gym. I need this morning time to work.
Baby is: Aware. So aware.
This is: The time to step it up and start engaging him even more.
Daughter is: Aware. So aware.
This is: Time to step it up and start shaping the realities of which she is aware.
Man is: Let me email to see. Okay, Man is: Thinking...always thinking.
This is: Good. We be needing some solutions thunk up.
Emails to check: 20 something, I think.
Goal for the day: Do what I say I am going to do without oozing to much gusto.
Kabbalah says: "Today, make sure your needs are met. Not the superficial desires, but the deep yearnings of your soul. Get enough air in your lungs so you'll have that much more energy to truly help others."
First bananas thought: As thought with a stain of sheer panic: They're going to do it first. We need to be first.
Arrive at gym: I have no idea when I'd be able to go to the gym today. Maybe at 5 for a half an hour, during my work pause/dinner time.
Workout is: Just not happening today. 5 came and went without a break in work.
Today's song is: Synchronicity II
Best lyric is: Mother chants her litany of boredom and frustration
But we know all the suicides are fake
Daddy only stares into the distance
There's only so much more that he can take
Best spam subject line: Elloelloello
It's the best because: It makes me think of the few years (say 18 to 22) when I was English.
I want: Promise, dammit!
I love: Porsche sunglasses. Timeless.
I wish: They made biodegradable diapers, so I wouldn't have to feel so bad. Do they, actually?
I am totally, majorly obsessing over: Courtney Love. Why is she still the coolest ever? Have you seen the image on her homepage? Did Kurt help her with Live Through This with her? This question has plagued me for like 14 years.
Being a mom means: The one-handed feed and the one-handed type.
Being a wife means: Making time.
Being a business owner means: Lateral thinking.
Out of the mouths of babes: "Ice cream makes me feel better." To which I said: "No, it doesn't; it just tastes good. Thinking happy thoughts makes you feel better." Oh, if only I had known that earlier on in life.
Today I ate: This high fiber cereal with a picture of a slightly older guy and a girl all jazzed up about fiber on the front. It's like an SNL parody.
Today I drank: Water.
Work was: Pretty productive.
Today I learned: The universe listens to what you tell it and answers what you ask of it.
I am: In the middle of the bath and bed marathon.
Tomorrow I will: Grow.

Can't Catch Me

2008-07-15T11:40:00.004-04:00

Wake up: 5 to get the baby. 6 for real.
Slept for: I really don't know what time I fell asleep last night. I know it was before I finished folding the laundry. I wish there were a laundry folding fairy. I guess they're actually called housekeepers.
First thought is: I have so much time to do all the things I want to do like put in another laundry, edit an article, return emails before I go to the gym. Seriously, this was my thought and it made me happy. I love having time to get a jump on things. Waking up early is a key factor in my overall happiness because it helps me to feel in control. I highly recommend it.
Baby is: On day four (or so) of a real baby schedule which includes sleeping through the night, cat-napping from 6 to 11-ish and then mega-napping from 11 to 3 or so. Eventually, he will convert his...sorry, I had to go, he got up. I'm hoping it's just a slight awake pause in his marathon of sleep. I better not talk about this anymore. I think I am angering the parenting gods.
This is: Nothing. Forget it. I said nothing about a schedule or sleep. Never mind any of it.
Daughter is: Out with her sitter, a gem of a girl who's been in our lives for two years now. We got lucky with her.
This is: Comforting. She's smart, responsible, patient and conscientious and having her spend time with Scarlett doesn't make me feel guilty about not spending the time with her myself.
Man is: I am going to email him to find out. He is downstairs in his office, by the way. He says: Still here.
This is: Going to plague me for hours, days, weeks, as to its meaning, when it probably means nothing. Oh, just got a follow-up email with subject line "Just Kidding" and text that reads: Man is not that grouchy today. Gratuitous wonderment and ill-drawn conclusions averted.
Emails to check: I think there where a decent amount, but it's been six hours since I checked them and millions of thoughts, fears, hopes, dreams have replaced that speck of info.
Goal for the day: Pay very close attention to my words and, hence, my thoughts.
Kabbalah says: "Keep working, moving forward, sharing and caring about the people who cross your path. You'll get your slice in due time. The harder you work for it, the tastier it'll be."
First bananas thought: Harvey Weinstein would be good on this project. He thinks big and takes chances.
Arrive at gym: 8:00 am
Workout is: Good. Not enough time for weights—I just got there 20 minutes too late. I did have time for 36 minutes of cardio on the Precor, levels 5 and 6 of the weight loss program. I cannot stress enough how much better it is to do the preprogrammed workouts. I'll do pushups, dips and free weights at home today. And know that I've typed it out, I have to do it.
Today's song is: Can't Catch Me by Lita Ford
Best lyric is: Don't think I'm easy—I wasn't born blonde
Best spam subject line: Don't be shy
It's the best because: It makes me think of Kajagoogoo. Anything that makes me think of 1983 is the best.
I want: A local all-night (or at least late night) pedicure and manicure place. I think it'd be a hit with the suburban moms—especially if they served drink-drinks.
I love: Do-overs.
I wish: I could see around the corner.
I am totally, majorly obsessing over: Money.
Being a mom means: Stopping what you are doing, getting up from the computer and taking a minute be there for your child.
Being a wife means: Dividing and conquering.
Being a business owner means: Using what you got.
Out of the mouths of babes: Mama, I want you. Oh, forget it. Daddy's coming.
Today I ate: Good—pretty similar to yesterday's menu but I had oatmeal and berries for breakfast.
Today I drank: Coffee, green tea, water.
Work was: Productive. I know something big is brewing.
Today I learned: What you focus on expands.
I am: Going to stay focused on watching what I focus on.
Tomorrow I will:

This is Radio Clash

2008-07-14T11:54:00.006-04:00

Wake up: 4:45 am (I think)
Slept for: 6 or so hours
First thought is: Way too tired to think.
Baby is: Probably fine even though he is stirring.
This is: Loud. Stirring is freakin' loud.
Daughter is: Tired a lot lately because we've been putting her to bed to late.
This is: Stopping.
Man is: Grouchy.
This is: Understandable.
Emails to check: 40 something.
Goal for the day: Be proactive. Make a game plan. Enact that game plan.
Kabbalah says: Break an addictive pattern today. Or at least set the intention to do so.
First bananas thought: Oh, today's speeding train of thoughts kicked up so much dust. I'm still coughing.
Arrive at gym: Still haven't gone. I have 45 minutes to build up the mental juice to go.
Workout is: Nothing so far.
Today's song is: This is Radio Clash by The Clash
Best lyric is: Forces have been looting my humanity
Best spam subject line: Hey hottie, wanna talk?
It's the best because: How do they know I'm hot?
I want: To want to go to the gym.
I love: Chocolate ganache and a very many reality TV shows.
I wish: I could better differentiate between reality and fantasy in my mind's eye.
I am totally, majorly obsessing over: Feathered hair.
Being a mom means: Having to examine yourself in one of those close-up mirrors—you know, the ones they have in hotel rooms for some reason—every day.
Being a wife means: Not adding it up.
Being a business owner means: Agility.
Out of the mouths of babes: I didn't mentally record any of Scarlett's gems today. That makes me feel a little sad.
Today I ate: Fruit for breakfast, turkey slices and whole grain, high fiber bread for lunch, half a protein bar (low sugar) for lunch, a turkey meatball for snack and fish and veg for dinner. What an accomplishment! I claim victories wherever and whenever I can. It definitely contributes to my overall happiness.
Today I drank: Water with cucumber slices—so I could pretend I was at a spa.
Work was: All over the place, emotionally, but still productive on the writing and editing-front.
Today I learned: You're in control of your own happiness.
I am: Battling.
Tomorrow I will: Win.

Brass Monkey

2008-07-12T12:39:00.005-04:00

Wake up: 5:45 am (I heard the babe stirring). Then I passed back out and woke up at 8:30, feeling groggy and even more tired than before.
Slept for: Over 8 hours.
First thought is: I feel hungover. A quick mind scan of the past 12 hours revealed that it would be impossible for me to be hungover because that would've required drinking alcohol. I concluded that I must have been dehydrated from not drinking enough water yesterday.
Baby is: Big, man. He is super big. We call him Smiles McGee because he's the smiliest baby ever seen.
This is: Interesting. I wonder if he'll be using his smiles for good or up-to-no-good.
Daughter is: Basically a teenager. I asked her if she liked any of the boys at her camp (but I meant liked like like not like-like) and when she told me she did, she lit up. I realized her like was like a like-like.
This is: Agita-inducing. It brought up so many issues of liking boys in 7th grade and them not liking me back. All I could think about was that I hoped that boy liked her, too. What? I am hoping a three year old boy likes my three year old girl? Issues, man. I gots issues.
Man is: I should just let him fill in this blank.
This is: This one, too.
Emails to check: 18.
Goal for the day: Food shopping. Check. Gym. Soon. Work. Check.
Kabbalah says: A good one, so I am going to post the whole thing. And, by the way, you substitute the word "light" or "creator" with words like "your higher self, " "god," "the universe."

Consider the light bulb in your ceiling. You flip a switch, and on it goes. But the light bulb is not the source of the light; the real source is an electric generator somewhere you can't even see. And there are rules around how much light can be emitted as well as when and why. The same is true with the Light of the Creator.

One of the common mistakes we all make is to confuse a person or thing with the Light. For instance, nothing feels as good as falling in love. So naturally we associate our girlfriend or boyfriend with those happy feelings and assume that person is the source of them. But it doesn't work that way. No other person can guarantee us the good feelings of love we are after. It's the way we act in relation to other people that brings the Light.

And that's what today is all about. Remembering that ultimately, your relationship to people and places is about your relationship to the Light of the Creator.
First bananas thought: Was in a dream I had last night about opening a cool juice bar called Juice or Cleanse, where people would go and hang and listen to awesome music and read and do all the stuff that people do in coffee houses.
Arrive at gym: Going in about 20 minutes.
Workout is: 33 minutes of a preprogrammed weight loss workout on the Precor (see "What I learned" below) and upper body (triceps, back, shoulders) supersets, complete with dips and pushups in between the sets.
Today's song is: Brass Monkey by the Beastie Boys
Best lyric is: Like the whole song but if I had to narrow it down:
We're offered Moet - we don't mind Chivas
Wherever we go with bring the Monkey with us
Best spam subject line: Nothing today.
It's the best because: Pass.
I want: Something cute to wear to Anna's baby shower tomorrow.
I love: Butter.
I wish: I were more motivated tonight to finish my work.
I am totally, majorly obsessing over: The mess in my foyer.
Being a mom means: Doing what you say you're going to do.
Being a wife means: This is so interesting to me because I am often so stumped by the question. I mean so stumped that I wonder if I should just change it to "Being a partner means" or "Being in a relationship means."
Being a business owner means: Staying in the ring.
Out of the mouths of babes: "Mom, can I have some of your rolling paper?" She meant wrapping paper.
Today I ate: Salmon sushi roll made with whole grain rice from Whole Foods and vegetables for breakfast. We went shopping early and had breakfast there and the aforementioned were better options over egg and cheese on a roll. Turkey slices and a plum for lunch. Half a protein bar for snack (with no sugar!). Shrimp cocktail, salad and chicken for dinner. Fruit and two cookies for dessert. All that controlled eating was ruined in minute.
Today I drank: Water and a few sips of red wine.
Work was: Good. Still going, though I am fading.
Today I learned: That it's better to do your cardio with one of the preprogrammed workouts. I did the weight loss workout and got my heart rate up to 148 almost immediately. I burned 400 calories in 33 (I think it was 33—it was an odd number) minutes. I usually only burn about 300 to 310 in 30 minutes. Just be sure to raise the resistance level to at least 5. I did the easier parts at 6 and the harder parts at 5. Also, Lori (www.mommy-moves.com) told me that I was not to hold onto the handles anymore when doing my cardio. It makes it much harder, but you're forced to activate (hence, tone) your core and the movement of your arms increases your total body output.
I am: Biting my nails in between answering these questions.
Tomorrow I will: Do better.

History Repeating

2008-07-11T07:31:00.007-04:00

Wake up: 5 with the babe, 6 with the alarm.
Slept for: 6 hours.
First thought is: No thoughts at 5. At 6 I thought: I'm just going to go back to bed. But I didn't. I knew I'd regret it an hour later.
Baby is: Repairing the negative feelings and misgivings I had from being a first-time mom.
This is: Amazing. Great. It is so truly amazing-great to see how life works and how, when you trust the process, you are delivered to wholeness.
Daughter is: Watching cartoons. I need to get her on the fast track so we can leave on time for camp.
This is: Always stressful for me, but I really should get a grip. I mean, hello! That is stressful? What is my problem?
Man is: Egging me on with funny—and inappropriate—things to answer this prompt with.
This is: Him.
Emails to check: 30-something again. I keep forgetting to log the number in my sieve—uh, brain, whatever you call it.
Goal for the day: Not stress out over little things. It's almost as if I've mastered not being stressed out over major (may-jah) things, but that dang stress needs to be in the mix, so it riles me up over inconsequential minutia.
Kabbalah says: Why are you alive? What did your soul come here to do? Ask enough times— and with intensity—and you will start seeing signs pointing you in the right direction.
First bananas thought: I can't say that I've had one today. Or, perhaps, they're just all so bonkers that they seem normal.
Arrive at gym: 6:30 am
Workout is: Cardio was a B-. I just lacked focus but I still managed to get my heart rate up and sweat. The good part is that I worked in weights, which is so vital. I bumped into a friend who was working out with a trainer. The trainer said something very interesting about weight loss: 75 percent is nutrition. Boo! And he's so right. I've been pretty good on the eating-front but then I totally spazz out and blow in one fell forkful. Just because you're working out doesn't mean that you can't eat 100 percent cleanly—if you are aiming to achieve a goal. If you're just maintaining, then you can be a little freer.
Today's song is: History Repeating by The Propellerheads
Best lyric is: They say the next big thing is here, that the revolution's near, but to me it seems quite clear that it's all just a little bit of history repeating
Best spam subject line: Your lady will go nuts.
It's the best because: The word "lady" is funny.
I want: The whole red snapper from Indochine.
I love: Manhattan.
I wish: There were a Barneys here. Not that I could buy anything from it right now, but at least I'd have a place to retreat to when the going gets boring.
I am totally, majorly obsessing over: A Spanish-style ranch.
Being a mom means: That point in the day when you go from loving the quiet in the house to missing your kid because she's not there to make noise.
Being a wife means: Thinking—and actually caring—about what someone else other you and your kids want and need.
Being a business owner means: Friday night meetings. They should be liquid meetings but, surely, Amy and I are too tired by that time to even lift the glass up.
Out of the mouths of babes:
Today I ate: Fairly clean. I fought mid-day sweets urges, which definitely helped me not to derail come dinner time.
Today I drank: Water.
Work was: An exercise in sharing.
Today I learned: That when people tell you who they are, you should believe them.
I am: Still in my gym clothes at 6:12 pm.
Tomorrow I will: Be in those clothes until I shower much later tonight.

Turning Japanese

2008-07-10T10:38:00.007-04:00

Wake up: I don't quite think I went to sleep—maybe from 11:30-ish to 1:47 when Shawn came in and then Scarlett to follow, complete with kicks and tosses and turns. Marlon got up at 4 for some reason—or was it earlier. I really don't remember much about last night. I do know that I got up 6.
Slept for: Yeah. I just don't know.
First thought is: I'm so tired that I feel nauseous. I kind of like that feeling—there's a comfort in it, as it hearkens back to being young and never sleeping.
Baby is: Having a weird colic thing from 6 or 7 pm until he goes to sleep at 8-ish.
This is: Going to pass shortly, according to my pediatrician. It gives me empathy for moms who have severely colicky kids.
Daughter is: Sitting next to me at her desk, coloring and using her computer.
This is: Loud...and sweet.
Man is: God, this one always stumps me.
This is: I just don't know.
Emails to check: They were responded to with one eye open this morning. I have no idea how many there were—or how I answered them, for that matter. Lovely.
Goal for the day: Get work done.
Kabbalah says: Gold coins. Spiritually speaking, that's exactly what you receive every time you share.
First bananas thought: I am like the white Janet Jackson—minus the millions, the siblings and the dance ability. Seriously, this is a most bananas thought. I didn't even know what it meant when I was thinking it.
Arrive at gym: Worked out with Lori Sawyer (www.mommy-moves.com) at 7 am.
Workout is: Super—and hard. It doesn't matter how motivated you are or how much you (think you) know about working out; working out with a trainer is the best way to go.
Today's song is: Turning Japanese by The Vapors
Best lyric is: I want a doctor to take your picture
So I can look at you from inside as well
Best spam subject line: How the French stay so thin.
I want: A nap.
I love: The house when it's quiet.
I wish: We could take a vacation.
I am totally, majorly obsessing over: The decline of western civilization that is I Love Money. I caught the preview montage of the season at the end of the first episode. It's really, really bad. I mean, it's so bad that I am offended. It's an insult to the intelligence of anyone and everyone. I will, of course, watch it.
Being a mom means: Doing things properly—even when you want to half-ass them.
Being a wife means: Getting rid of the Alice Cooper mascara run-off from underneath your eyes—even though you could care less that it's there.
Being a business owner means: Sacrifice—much like the kind you make for your children.
Out of the mouths of babes: Oh, he's dead now (about one of her little koala bears)
Today I ate: Chicken breast (a portion the size of a deck of cards) and salsa for breakfast, brown rice sushi for lunch, whole wheat pasta (just one cup) and chicken for dinner.
Today I drank: Water.
Work was: Fine. I am having bouts of writer's block, but, over the years, I've learned how to push through them. I really have no choice. It's difficult to stay inspired and fresh when you are writing all the time but it's also a cool exercise to see how far you can challenge yourself. When you think you have nothing left give, you must persevere. You'll be amazed at how much more is really there. It's a good lesson for all aspects of life.
Today I learned: The lower the number on the bottom of the plastic bottles is, the easier the bottles are to recycle. Hence, if you are going to use plastic stuff, stick to bottles/containers that are a 4 or below.
I am: Not tired. Not awake. Not inspired. Not dull.
Tomorrow I will: Write. Edit. Write. Edit. Write. Edit. Write. Edit. Write. Edit. Write. Edit.

Kick Start My Heart

2008-07-09T08:47:00.008-04:00

Wake up: 6
Slept for: 6.5 hours
First thought is: I have so much to accomplish today—I am excited to do it. In retrospect, I don't think it was a whole-hearted sentiment, but rather an attempt to psych myself up for a long day of focus.
Baby is: On a great schedule. (How overused is the word "great" lately? Great is the new amazing—which is an interesting sign of the times. I wonder if the economy plays a part in the scale of hyperbole or if the words we use en masses are more random than that.)
This is: Great—though I know that every time you settle into a baby schedule, it changes.
Daughter is: Definitely handling all her big changes (camp for 6 or 7 hours), mastering potty training, sleeping through the night in her own bed, having a new baby in the house. It's so much on her and she really is doing well. It's such a commitment on our part—not that I am surprised by that, but still, lately too few people talk about how much discipline, follow-through, action and intention it takes to be a parent. It's certainly forcing us to be better and stronger people with better integrity of word and intention.
This is: Very cool (not just great). It feels good to be deconstructed (though it certainly did not after I had Scarlett and my whole world shifted) and reconstructed on a daily basis.
Man is: A deconstructer-reconstructer kind of guy. He's always seeking to better himself. It's sometimes annoying, but I know that when it annoys me, it means that I need to step it up.
This is: Annoying.
Emails to check: 30-something.
Goal for the day: Pay attention to what annoys me in other people, as I'm just seeing what annoys me about myself in them.
Kabbalah says: When you drop your great expectations of others, you more fully connect to the light.
First bananas thought: I am going to get a wind turbine for our house—which is really only a bananas thought because we can't be buying anything right now and not because we couldn't eventually have our own mini turbine.
Arrive at gym: Going tonight at 8.
Workout is: Going to be super fly.
Today's song is: Kickstart My Heart by Motley Crue
Best lyric is: Hmmmm... Sorry Nikki but the lyrics aren't so great called out. But they do rule as a whole piece.
Best spam subject line: Say No to Ed
I want: To stop biting my nails.
I love: Beck.
I wish: I had the new Beck album.
I am totally, majorly obsessing over: Effectively eliminating sugar from my diet. It's worse than fat, peeps.
Being a mom means: Being there (and really being present) for most dinner, bath, book, bed routines. And, man, is that ever tough to do some nights.
Being a wife means: Learning how to pick your battles. It's a good thing to learn for life, in general.
Being a business owner means: Seeing the big picture while your in the trenches of minutia.
Out of the mouths of babes: I want Daddy to read because he's kind and nice and he gives me food and he works and he works and he works.
Today I ate: Egg whites and vegetables with salsa (so easy—you can even used the prefabbed egg whites and frozen veggies, as long as they're organic and low sodium), fish and veg for lunch (it was a frozen meal thingy from Whole Foods), chicken and a small serving whole wheat pasta for dinner. Turkey slices and few cheat chips for snack. Oh, one spoonful of marmalade because I took my eye off the prize for a minute. Can't do that, folks. Just can't do it.
Today I drank: Lots of water.
Work was: A bit Groundhog's Day-ish.
Today I learned: When you recycle your bottles, you have to take the tops off or they won't be recycled.
I am: Back from the gym.
Tomorrow I will: Start again.

Strange Weather

2008-07-08T12:26:00.006-04:00

Wake up: 5 am to feed the little man.
Slept for: 6 hours.
First thought is: I'd love to go to the gym but I just can't bring myself to force Shawn to get up at 5 since he just went to bed at 1. Bummer.
Baby is: Playing next to me on his activity mat.
This is: Temporary. He'll start to get over it in a few.
Daughter is: Wearing her undies again.
This is: Nerve-wracking.
Man is: Working.
This is: What he does.
Emails to check: 39
Goal for the day: Eat cleanly (which is going quite well) and work
Kabbalah says: We cannot force our opinions upon others even though we may think it is for their benefit. We are not the policemen of the Creator. We can only share with an open heart and let the Light take care of the rest.
First bananas thought:
Arrive at gym: Not yet and I just don't know that I'll make it today—perhaps tonight I can go. I did go last night at 9.
Workout is: Obsessed over.
Today's song is: Strange Weather by Marianne Faithful. I used to intern for a woman named Kate Hyman. She was a formidable, eccentric, troubled and inspired woman. Her best friend was Marianne Faithful. When she'd call Kate, she'd always say: "Tell Katie (read Ka-tee), it's Mari-aaaaaaaaane (read: Mari-aaaaaaaaane )." It always stuck as funny that after everything Marianne had been through in her life, she never lost her upper-class-upbringing sense of self, never letting misfortune and circumstance rob her of who she really is. You could tell she had dignity. I think about that often.
Best lyric is: Strangers talk only about the weather
Best spam subject line: Prepare to win.
I want: To win, dammit!
I love: Water.
I wish: A green house makeover show would come and eco us up.
I am totally, majorly obsessing over: Not getting to the gym.
Being a mom means: Not being able to get to the gym, even though you are obsessing over it.
Being a wife means: Not being able to get to the gym, even though you are obsessing over it.
Being a business owner means: Not being able to get to the gym, even though you are obsessing over it.
Out of the mouths of babes: You're undies look different. They're all bunched up, I think.
Today I ate: Great. Very cleanly.
Today I drank: Water and one martini during a stolen hour with a best gal pal.
Work was: Productive—though I could work 24 hours a day and not get everything done.
Today I learned: That those first few months after my first child were as insane as I remember.
I am: So glad that the second time was better.
Tomorrow I will: Create and accomplish.

New Sensation

2008-07-07T09:36:00.006-04:00

Wake up: 6 am
Slept for: The usual.
First thought is: I am so tired—it's definitely from three days of no gym and not-clean eating.
Baby is: Animated.
This is: Fun. I am sure Scarlett was the same way, but I kinda don't remember.
Daughter is: Totally sorted out about camp. She's very well-adjusted—thank goodness.
This is: A victory. I feel good and happy on the inside about it.
Man is: Coming back to life.
This is: Good.
Emails to check: 22
Goal for the day: Eat cleanly, make it to the gym even if it's a 9 tonight, work, do laundry, sit up straight, walk taller and breathe.
Kabbalah says: Nothing that The Post says it says.
First bananas thought: This is easy.
Arrive at gym: Not yet, but I am going. Just as soon as the little peeps go to sleep, I am going.
Workout is: Sorely needed.
Today's song is: New Sensation by INXS
Best lyric is: And the sun comes like a god into our room
All perfect light and promises
Best spam subject line: Take a look only if you are worth it.
I want: A boob job.
I love: My high school friends.
I wish: All of my friends would move here.
I am totally, majorly obsessing over: Being bloated.
Being a mom means: Leaving your kids with their grandmother for an hour so you can run out and have a drink with a friend.
Being a wife means: Gosh, this one often stumps me. Ummmm....I am still figuring that one out.
Being a business owner means: Unity.
Out of the mouths of babes: We're two cuties.
Today I ate: Well, until my worst time (5:00) and then I ate cheese and olives that my mom brought over.
Today I drank: Water and 4 ounces of red wine. I mean, come on, what else do you eat with cheese and olives. And by the way, I have no business eating cheese. It has to be the absolute worst thing you can eat.
Work was: Good but I still have a lot to accomplish.
Today I learned: Discipline takes discipline.
I am: Ready.
Tomorrow I will:

Thieves in the Temple

2008-07-06T09:44:00.005-04:00

Wake up: 7:09
Slept for: About 7 hours
First thought is: What project should I start first?
Baby is: So easy
This is: Insanely wonderful
Daughter is: Processing things on a deeper level and forming ideas about what's she's processing. I have to be sure that the ideas she digests—which will become the fabric of her being—are the right ones: ones that empower her, ones that free her, ones that inspire her, ones that enable her to be a capable person. Coming from the self-involved/self-obsessed era that is your 20s, it's truly wonderful/frightening/awesome to experience someone who doesn't have issues—yet.
This is: Daunting. I've got to continue to get my act together.
Man is: In a good mood.
This is: Because he's got a softball game.
Emails to check: Just 14.
Goal for the day: Work, workout
Kabbalah says: "There is tremendous energy in our vows. When we make promises and don't keep them, we create little voids of energy in our lives, which is why we are so often uncomfortable and dissastisifed."
First bananas thought: Viral is a formula.
Arrive at gym: Didn't.
Workout is: Not.
Today's song is: Thieves in the Temple by Prince
Best lyric is: I feel like I'm looking for my soul like a poor man looking for gold
Best spam subject line: Update your penis
I want: To figure out when I am going to stop breastfeeding.
I love: Method cleaning products
I wish: People didn't fear the unknown.
I am totally, majorly obsessing over: My iPod
Being a mom means: Looking your kids in the eyes.
Being a wife means: Repriminutes
Being a business owner means: Sheer love of the game.
Out of the mouths of babes: I'm big and I'm bossy.
Today I ate: Too tired to recount.
Today I drank: Water, a sip of Scarlett's Shirley Temple and 4 ounces of red wine
Work was: Very productive and inspiring.
Today I learned: There's always more to give.
I am: Certain.
Tomorrow I will: Remain certain.

Set Adrift on Memory Bliss

2008-07-05T12:44:00.004-04:00

Wake up: 7
Slept for: I really don't know
First thought is: I should just go to the gym now.
Baby is: Almost saying a word or two. I swear.
This is: Bizarre—though Shawn's mom contends that he spoke at 5 months.
Daughter was: Quite a song writer. I've started to write them down for her. Is there a market for toddler singers who pen their own tunes?
This is: Creepy or cool?
Man is: Patient.
This is: Teaching me how to be patient myself. It is a virtue.
Emails to check: I forget now, but not that many.
Goal for the day: Not to eat crap food just because I'm bored.
Kabbalah says: " The problem of argument is not who is right or who is wrong — it is that you think that you are right and someone else is wrong! Be open to another point of view today, even when you are 100% right."
First bananas thought: What would happen if I only ate Tasti D Lite?
Arrive at gym: Nope.
Today's song is: Set Adrift on Memory Bliss by PM Dawn
Best lyric is: She's just one of those corners in my mind
Best spam subject line: Tame your unicorn
I want: A new wardrobe.
I love: Flowy Ikat dresses.
I wish: I were Lauren Conrad—just the blown out hair and going out at night parts.
I am totally, majorly obsessing over: LA
Being a mom means: Rising to the challenge.
Being a wife means: Rising to the challenge.
Being a business owner means: Rising to the challenge.
Out of the mouths of babes: I am the princess and you are the dungeon.
Today I ate: Crap.
Today I drank: Water.
Work was: Medium.
Today I learned: A stitch in time saves nine.
I am: Big on cliches.
Tomorrow I will: Figure it out.

Gold Lion

2008-07-03T11:32:00.005-04:00

Wake up: 5:54
Slept for: Almost 7 hours
First thought is: Busy day
Baby is: Sleeping—but about to get up
This is: Good. I've got to get him fed and sleeping again in a half an hour.
Daughter is: Excited to go back to camp today.
This is: Great.
Man is: Not sure, actually.
This is: A reminder.
Emails to check: 19
Goal for the day: Eat cleanly, finish two articles that require a fair bit of brain power.
Kabbalah says: "Fears comes from our darker side, the aspect of ourselves that seeks to sabotage our best intentions. But they are not real, which is why we say fear is False Evidence Appearing Real."
First bananas thought: I want to dye my hair red.
Arrive at gym: 6:40
Workout is: Better than yesterday's even though I still only had 30 minutes. I just pushed myself harder today.
Today's song is: Gold Lion by Yeah, Yeah, Yeahs
Best lyric is: Gold lion's gonna tell me where the light is
Best spam subject line: Erase the memories of your failures.
I want: Calm
I love: Tasti D-Lite
I wish: The Tasti D-Lite place was closer.
I am totally, majorly obsessing over: Work.
Being a mom means: Letting your three year old stay up late to watch the fireworks.
Being a wife means: Letting your husband let your three year old stay up late to watch the fireworks.
Being a business owner means: No rest for the weary.
Out of the mouths of babes: Why do they call them fireworks?
Today I ate: Not much.
Today I drank: Water and half a margarita at my neighbor's party.
Work was: Fraught with writer's block.
Today I learned: My tolerance for risk is pretty high.
I am: Better off than I was four years ago.
Tomorrow I will: Put one foot in front of the other.

Let Me Blow Ya Mind

2008-07-02T07:25:00.007-04:00

Wake up: 5:24
Slept for: A little over 6 hours
First thought is: I'm glad I got up so early. Now I don't have to hustle to get everything done. Hustling sucks.
Baby is: Acclimating to a more consistent schedule on the eating and sleeping fronts. Hallelujah!
This is: I repeat: Hallelujah!
Daughter is: Vacillating between loving camping and not wanting to go.
This is: Kicking up my co-dependence issues. I so want her to want go (enter Cheap Trick into my mind) and I want her to have good feelings about it and feel empowered and all that crap. Ugh! I feel yucky and nervous and uneasy and stressed out on the inside just thinking about it—I mean what if she's not into it? Is this co-dependence, being a mother or just being a wacko?
Man is: Cute.
This is: Good.
Emails to check: 37
Goal for the day: Do it up, baby!
Kabbalah says: "Today, feel certain in the fact that when you call out for help, you cries are being heard — and appreciated."
First bananas thought: As thought after seeing Jon Bon Jovi on one of the TVs at the gym: Jon Bon Jovi should invest in our company. We could film it and do a whole reality thing called "Making the Business." It would be huge with 30 and 40-somethings. Call us, Jon.
Arrive at gym: 6:35
Workout is: Just medium. I am tired and a bit unfocused. Lori Sawyer, trainer extraordinaire, informed me that you've got to get your heart rate up to the fat burning zone for, basically, the whole time you're working out. My heart rate was at the lower end of the zone for only 20 of the 30 minutes. I was able to burn 303 calories, but real fat loss—and health improvement—comes from getting that rate up.
Today's song is: Let Me Blow Ya Mind
Best lyric is: Yo! Drop your glasses, shake your asses
Face screwed up like you having hot flashes
Best spam subject line: Hot chicks in skimpy beachwear
I want: For nothing
I love: My girlfriends
I wish: There was a baby sitter fairy.
I am totally, majorly obsessing over: Whether or not I should put a period on the end of these fragment—or are they actually sentences?
Being a mom means: Being brave. Scarlett is living for camp now. She went from a baby to a girl since Monday. This afternoon, she was all a twitter with talk of best friends and nonsensical inside jokes and frenetic galloping about the house.
Being a wife means: I'm not quite sure.
Being a business owner means: Keeping it simple
Out of the mouths of babes: Mommy, when I grow up, I want to drink wine just like you.
Today I ate: Good—though not entirely sugar-free.
Today I drank: Agua
Work was: Great. Great interview on Mom's the Word. The hosts were the most—so informed, gracious, quick-witted and fun. They've invited me a la THE FAMILY GROOVE to go back on quarterly to discuss what's hot for moms.
Today I learned: Some very interesting things courtesy of author and renowned financial advisor Spencer Sherman, who will contributing for THE FAMILY GROOVE monthly starting in December. One of the things he told me was that when people go from individuals to couples, their expenses go up, despite their thinking that they're going to save money by sharing bills (electric, cable, rent/mortgage, etc.). Why? Because, invariably, each person has a penchant for something that they think is worth spending money on (like dinners out or a 5-star hotel—something that matters to them). So when the two, as a couple, are living their lives, they wind up choosing the higher end option for both people. Whereas before, you might have opted to spend money on a 5-star hotel but eat cheaply, now you're doing both because your husband is into fine dining. People just don't usually go for the lesser options. Am I making sense? He made a lot of sense.
I am: Daunted by the laundry that still needs folding.
Tomorrow I will: Create my world.

Scare Easy

2008-07-01T13:37:00.007-04:00

Wake up: 6:00
Slept for: I passed out last night at 9—fully clothed—so that makes 9 hours of heavy sleep. Thank you, red wine.
First thought is: Am I hungover?
Baby is: Spending most of free time smiling at fans, talking to his mobile and trying in earnest to suck his thumb. The pediatrician said she'd never seen two month old talk so much.
This is: Expected. There's already so much talking in this house. He fits right in.
Daughter is: Taking a lot in right now.
This is: A little hard for me to watch because I want to make sure she can handle everything.
Man is: Seeming to have recovered from the first two months of no sleep and and tons of work. All work and no play make Daddy a dull boy. All work and no play make Daddy a dull boy.
This is: Promising.
Emails to check: 24
Goal for the day: Check things off of my to-do list.
Kabbalah says: "A spark of the Light exists within all of us. We connect to and enflame it every time we place more importance on helping others than helping ourselves."
First bananas thought: I am going to write a screenplay, get the project greenlighted, learn how to direct and premiere the movie at the Cannes Film Festival.
Arrive at gym: Today is my first day back working out with my trainer and friend Lori Sawyer (www.mommy-moves.com). My partner, Amy, got me sessions with her as my birthday gift. It's absolutely the best gift you can give someone.
Weight is: We didn't check. We're going to do a whole workout up later today or within the next few days.
Weight to lose: About the same, I'm sure.
Workout is: Non-stop, ass-kicking circuit.
Today's song is: Scare Easy by Tom Petty's Mudcrutch
Best lyric is: I don't scare easy
Don't fall apart
When I'm under the gun
You can break my heart
And I ain't gonna run
I don't scare easy
For no one
Best spam subject line: Be the King
I want: My roots done.
I love: The sounds of silence brought to you by two sleeping kids.
I wish:
I am totally, majorly obsessing over: Everything.
Being a mom means: Enthusiasm.
Being a wife means: Listening—and actually following—my man's recount of his softball game.
Being a business owner means: What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
Out of the mouths of babes: May I have this dance, my majesty?
Today I ate: Egg whites with vegetables for breakfast, mushroom and barley soup for lunch, no fat, no salt, no gluten, no taste brown rice crackers and salsa for snack and broiled scrod (or was it cod?) and salad for dinner.
Today I drank: All of my water.
Work was: Good and productive—and I got a late afternoon call from Mom's the Word Radio about appearing on their show tomorrow at 12:40 EST. Coolio!
Today I learned: That I can do it, I can do it, if I put my mind to it.
I am: Not going to fold the laundry tonight.
Tomorrow I will: Fold the laundry and save the world...or at least that's what it will feel like.

Still Raining

2008-06-30T10:32:00.005-04:00

Wake up: 6:30 am
Slept for: 7 hours
First thought is: I have so much to do to get Scarlett prepared for camp. Why didn't I sort it all out last night? Followed by a flood of thoughts related to starting something new, wondering if she'll get on with the other kids, wanting her to be accepted and thrive, wanting this experience and everyone to be positive for her.
Baby is: Going to the doctor today. My fear of shots and their possible repercussions ensues.
This is: Nerve-wracking—believe me, I do a lot of research on the autism subject for THE FAMILY GROOVE and everyone has something different to say.
Daughter is: Excited about her first day of camp.
This is: Fun for me, as I imagine her perception of these, the very first of her salad days.
Man is: A rock.
This is: Concerning from time to time, as I wonder if he ever gets tired of being so responsible and hard working.
Emails to check: 58
Goal for the day: Contain my agita—but first figure out why I have it.
Kabbalah says: "Mistakes are opportunities. Every time we mess up — intentionally or not - there is a chance to learn and go to a new level. In fact, mistakes are only mistakes if we don't learn from them.

Today, forgive yourself for something you've done in the past. Remember, when you fall, you learn."
Arrive at gym: Too much to do in the morning. Have to go at night. Never made it at night. Two glass of red wine equals focus and drive out the window. Drinking is bad.
Weight is: Much.
Weight to lose: Much.
Workout is: Nada surf.
Today's song is: Still Raining by Jonny Lang
Best lyric is: Sometimes I wonder what'll become of me
There ain't much left of what I used to be
Best spam subject line: My number 73
I want: Multiple clones
I love: Post-modern Americana, just as the sun hits it.
I wish: It were 1970.
I am totally, majorly obsessing over: Short shorts and knee socks with stripes
Being a mom means: Running about like a crazy woman
Being a wife means: Working out to have a body that can wear those short shorts
Being a business owner means: Not scaring easily
Out of the mouths of babes: The boys were annoying.
Today I ate: No breakfast, portabello mushroom, spinach, tomatoes and zucchini for lunch, chicken and vegetables for dinner. Oh, and fat free, sugar free yogurt mid-day.
Today I drank: Water and two big glasses of red wine.
Work was: Less productive than usual.
I learned today: Accomplishment takes focus.
I am: Writing this on Tuesday because I fell asleep, fully clothed, at 9 last night.
Tomorrow I will: Get with the program.

Army of Me

2008-06-29T10:24:00.006-04:00

June 29, 2008

Wake up: 7 something
Slept for: 7 hours
First thought is: Why do boys in their late teens and twenties treat girls so badly? Why do girls go in for it? I wonder if Scarlett and Marlon will be that way.
Baby is: Easy. So many people freaked me out about a second child. I think it's easier now because I know what to expect. No paradigm shift—I was already a mom. No loss of perspective—because you know how quickly even the worst of it goes by. And, really, Scarlett was easy, too. It was me who was difficult.
This is: A relief.
Daughter is: Obsessed with putting her babies to sleep. There are dolls—face down, mind you—under covers in every room of our house. It's like a baby minefield.
This is: Endearing and a bit annoying. We try to keep them cordoned off in her room and in the den, but it rarely works.
Man is: A damn hard worker.
This is: Good. There's a lot to be done.
Emails to check: 30
Goal for the day: Gym, if it's white do not bite, have fun with my gang
Kabbalah says: "Kabbalists differentiate between two types of jealousy.

The first is the one we're all familiar with, whether we want to admit it or not. It's the pinch in our hearts when our friend gets what we want. That part of us that says, "why him, why not me?"

This is the worst type of jealousy we can ever have.

When we question why someone else is getting something instead of us, that's it, we're cooked. Why? Because when we question why our friend would receive something, we actually disconnect from our friend.

We create division. What happens the moment we create division with our friend? We create a separation between us and the Light. The Light, of course, being the best, most reliable, loving friend we could ever have.

Not only do we not have what we want, but we're also not happy with our friend; we've created a wall between us and them - and ultimately between us and the Light. This keeps us from getting what we want.

It's a vicious circle. Nothing good comes of it.

What shall be done?

Kabbalists explain there is a form of jealousy that is very positive. It's that voice that says, "Wow, I'm so happy for my friend, I'm glad he has that ! You know what, I want that too! I'd be glad to work for that!"

The first type of jealousy emanates purely from the realm of ego and separation. The second is motivational, and it empowers us to work with the law of cause and effect. It shows us the reason we want what our friend has is because they were sent into our life to make us want what they have - to show us that we can have it too!

Of course, we have to work for it, but when we're chasing down our dream, there can't be a consciousness of lack."
First saving-the-world thought: I would like to start a local campaign to ban chemical cleaners and pesticides from public schools.
First bananas thought: The director of Scarlett's little day camp got Lyme Disease. Scarlett can never go outside.
Arrive at gym: 9:30 or so. I knew that I was going to steal some time to go today but wasn't sure when, especially with my mom working and Shawn at his game until 12 and then working for a good part of the rest of the day. However, my mom called at 9:25 to let me know that her clients were late and she could watch the kids for 45 minutes. I threw on clothes, grabbed my iPod and was ready to run out the door as soon as stepped in. And that's the key, people. You have to be flexible. You do have at least half an hour a day to devote to being fit, even if it's rushed in the middle of a million other activities.
Weight is: Same. I really should just check it weekly.
Weight to lose: Same.
Workout is: Great. 30 minutes, level 7, max hear rate 148, 330 calories burned.
Today's song is: Army of Me by Bjork
Best lyric is: And if you complain once more, you'll meet an army of me
Best spam subject line: Upgrade the bazooka in your pants.
I want: To get to the point where my actions meet my intentions with this weight loss thing. My actions are often quite high as are my intentions but when you have so much weight to lose and you want to do it rather expeditiously, there's little room for error. And by error, I mean cookies and macaroni and cheese from Whole Foods.
I love: Quiet time.
I wish: Mary Poppins would tidy up my den.
I am totally, majorly obsessing over: Money.
Being a mom means: Staying present.
Being a wife means: Staying present.
Being a business owner means: Preparing.
Today I ate: Relatively cleanly minus the barbecue potato chips.
Today I drank: Water and two sips of a soda that somehow found it's way into our house.
Heard at my dinner table: Maybe it was thunder or maybe it was lions.
Work was: Productive—though by Sunday, without any time off leading up to it, I am pretty spent.
I am: Uninspired.
Tomorrow I will: Be inspired again.

Starman

2008-06-28T08:54:00.014-04:00

Wake up: Officially 7:23 am, though I'd been up on and off since 4.
Slept for: About 7 hours
First thought was: How old was Scarlett when she was able to suck her thumb? I wonder if I wrote it in her book. I sucked at writing things in her book.
Baby was: Trying to suck his thumb.
This was: Loud.
Daughter was: In our bed but only since 6:30.
This was: Super fantastico! She slept in her bed for the whole night again.
Man was: Awake-ish.
This was: Good—he can feed the baby then.
Emails to check: 44
Goal for the day: Do a few hours of work (and actually accomplish something) and spend some time with my peeps sans thinking about work.
Kabbalah says: "When we receive something for nothing, we feel a certain degree of resentment or unworthiness."
First bananas thought: I am going to write a book called Mom in Progress about what really happens when you get pregnant, including such truths as you go through a period of time during which you think you are totally screwed.
Arrive at gym: Not yet. Forward to 8:41 pm, I am just about to put on my gym clothes to hustle over for an hour-ish of cardio. I decided to check their website to make sure they're open until 10 and I discovered that they close at 6. Who closes at 6? Losers. Or am I a mega loser for going to the gym on a Saturday night? Tough one, huh?
Weight is: Hmmm....
Weight to lose: Half an Olsen.
Workout is: For now: push-ups, lunges and dips in the house. Push-ups a great whole-body workout, by the way. I do twenty each hour for a few hours in the middle of the day. I'm working up to 50 each time.
Today's song is: Starman by David Bowie
Because: There's something about the verses that reminds me of hanging out just at that time when the night tips from acceptable to a bit depraved; when you sink a little lower into the banquette and start to become one with the scene.
Best lyric is: Didn't know what time it was, the lights were low oh oh
I leaned back on my radio oh oh
Best spam subject line: Stalin took pills two time per day before food.
I want: To not feel so groggy. Man, just two drinks over four hours and I'm dull.
I love: My daughter.
I wish: Madonna was my friend.
I am totally, majorly obsessing over: My roots.
Being a mom means: Gently picking up your now-sleeping two-month old's head when it flops down in his little swing.
Being a wife means: Remembering.
Being a business owner means: Obsession.
Today I ate: C+. Word to you mothers: Don't buy the Whole Foods little meringue cookies. 17 have 120 calories and no fat but a ton of sugar. And believe me, you will eat all 17.
Today I drank: Water.
Heard at my dinner table: Mmmm...this is dul-licious, as said about salmon, brown rice and vegetables. Score one for me.
Work was: Still in progress.
I am: Still high on sugar.
Tomorrow I will: Proact.

Stronger

2008-06-27T11:03:00.013-04:00

Wake up: 6:03 am
Slept for: 7 hours
First thought was: I wish I could go to the gym this morning.
Baby was: Getting up.
This was: Wonderful, really. He's all smiles and they're better than a large espresso to get you excited about the day.
Daughter was: In her bed! Woo-hoo!
This was: Amazing. She told me yesterday afternoon that she thought the Sleep Fairy would be coming because she was going to sleep in her bed the whole night. And, in fact, the Sleep Fairy did flutter on by, leaving a fabulous DVD of some cartoon-y thing or another in a pretty bag along with a heart-shaped note.
Man was: Fixing to get up.
This was: Great–because we was going to go out and do some weeding. Recession budget = no landscapers this year.
Emails to check: 62
Goal for the day: Eat cleanly, drink water, do what I say I am going to do, create the life I want.
Kabbalah says: We are holy within. Just like god. When we are connected to our holiness, nothing can touch us.
First saving-the-world thought: Everyone needs to get rid of their chemical cleaners and replace them with all-natural ones, said to myself as I rifled through the cabinet of mainly green cleaners and opted for the Clorox.
First bananas thought: Wasn't so bananas: I feel so guilty about using this bleach but, man, does it clean well!
Arrive at gym: Didn't go—too much to do this morning, especially if I want my man to get out and do the weeding.
Weight is: Oh, I totally wish I knew. I am sure it's down. I've thought about getting a scale, but I know that I'd be on it hourly. Not a good thing.
Weight to lose: A lot.
Workout is: Very missed—and I can feel an encroaching—and irrational—fear that if I don't go, I will spiral and, like, eat a whole cake or something. I know it's not going to happen. I just need to know I know it's not going to happen.
Today's song is: Stronger by the once and former Miss Britney Spears and it goes out the very Groovy Ms. Amy. And, yes, I rock the Britney from time to time—and it's done with only a mild case of hipster irony.
Best lyric is: Stronger than yesterday. It's nothin' but my way. My loneliness ain't killin' me no more.
Best spam subject line: Fulfill your booty duties
I want: A Patron Silver margarita and a spray tan
I love: When things get done.
I wish: French fries made you lose weight.
I am totally, majorly obsessing over: The fries I ate at dinner. But really, who can eat mussels sans fries?
Being a mom means: Not having a second glass of wine.
Being a wife means: Sympathy.
Being a business owner means: Meetings at 9 pm on Friday night.
Today I ate: Nothing for breakfast, salad and chicken for lunch and tuna tartare,
Today I drank: Most of the water I intended to drink, one Patron Silver Margarita (yup, I totally made it happen) and one glass of Viognier.
Heard at my dinner table: There were no cute boys in our grade.
Work was: Going at 100 mph and not getting anywhere.
I am: Happy. There's nothing like hanging with old and best friends.
Tomorrow I will: Not spin my wheels

Winners and Losers

2008-06-26T11:38:00.009-04:00

June 26, 2008

Wake up: 6:17 am
Slept for: Ummm...not sure again. Maybe 7 hours. Pretty good!
First thought was: Should I lay here until the alarm goes off at 6:30?
Baby was: Getting up—and, therefore, there was no laying.
This was: Just as well.
Daughter was: Sleeping, thumb in mouth, right up against her father.
This was: Sweet because she's so cute and annoying because I just can't figure out how to get her to sleep in her own bed. Well, I mean, I can figure it out, but I just don't have the discipline—or wherewithal at 2 in the morning—to do it.
Man was: Stirring.
This was: Normal.
Emails to check: 73
Goal for the day: Figure out how to incite a frenzy a la Jim Morrison in his Whiskey A Go Go days and Lou Perelman (sans the molestation and embezzlement).
Kabbalah says: Go toward what is the most uncomfortable, for there is light there that needs to be shed.
First saving-the-world thought: Haven't had one yet.
First bananas thought: They all seem to blur today.
Arrive at gym: A little after 8:30.
Weight is: 169.4
Weight to lose: Still just about 45 pounds
Workout is: Just over 40 minutes (man, for sure, if I hadn't written it in last night's post, I would have definitely stopped at 30) at level 5, then 6, then 7. Max heart rate is 148 and calories burned is 430.
Today's song is: Winners and Losers by Social Distortion
Best lyric is: Are you happy now with all the choices you’ve made?
Are there times in life when you know you should’ve stayed?
Will you compromise and then realize the price is too much to pay?
Best spam subject line: You are not in the mood?
I want: Blinde sunglasses. I lost the last pair I had. I lived for them.
I love: The warm air lazing into my window.
I wish: The bed in front of my gate was weeded.
I am totally, majorly obsessing over: Nothing.
Being a mom means: Paying attention.
Being a wife means: Actually getting married.
Being a business owner means: Being nice to people.
Today I ate: Very cleanly—much less jelly—and I still have 8 points left not including the 6 I earned from working out. Too bad you can't roll them over!
Today I drank: One glass of water and one big (should check the ounces) glass bottle of water. No plastic, my friends! I actually have a water filter on the faucet. It's the only way to go.
Heard at my dinner table: Daddy is MY prince.
Work was: So busy because of the new issue. I have a couple hours of work still to do.
I am: Simply exhausted—though I can feel my second wind coming on.
Tomorrow I will: Be more present to the light—and have afternoon drinks with one of my best friends.

The Summer Winds

2008-06-26T10:40:00.004-04:00

Allow me to shout: THE JULY ISSUE IS LIVE, BABY, LIVE!

It's so good, so informative and so beautifully designed. It's almost too good or Internet, I swear!

Here are just some of the awesome articles featured this month:

Summerize Your Home
Hostess Gifts You'll Want to Give
The Truth About Pregnancy
The Woman Behind Tummy Tuck Jeans Speaks
Patriotic Swimsuits are Red, White and Hot
Protect Your Skin Now
Get Your Summer Gear
These Smoothies Taste Like Summer
The Latest on Children's Food Allergies
Why You're Hormones are a Mess
Everything You Need to Know About Pregnancy Skincare
Hot Diaper Bags
Isabella Oliver Makes Gorgeous Maternity Wear
Do Something Important: Support Second Chance Employment Services

Plus amazing GIVEAWAYS, moms like you weigh in on their plans for summer, five hot items for the season, our fave musts of the month and so much more!

I'm an Ordinary Guy

2008-06-25T10:04:00.015-04:00

Wednesday, June 25

Wake up: 6:30 am
Slept for: I have absolutely no idea.
First thought was: Good lord, it's sunny.
Baby was: About to wake up.
This was: Fine.
Daughter was: Fast asleep—in our bed.
This was: Same as it ever was.
Man was: Sleeping not so soundly.
This was: A shame since he went to bed so late because he was working on our July issue.
Emails to check: I forgot to pay attention, but I know it was less than yesterday.
Goal for the day: To not stress out over all the things I'd like to accomplish.
Kabbalah says: Don't react.
First saving-the-world thought: We could really leverage THE FAMILY GROOVE to do some good. I think I'll write a book called Keep It Simple, Sister on how to eliminate chaos from your life in order to create success.
First bananas thought: I'll promote the book on Larry King. It's doable.
Arrive at gym: 7:23
Weight is: No time to check.
Weight to lose: Probably about the same as yesterday.
Workout is: 30 minutes, 310 calories burned, heart rate up to 140.
Today's song is: Burning Down the House by Talking Heads
Best lyric is: "Watch out! You might get what you're after."
Best spam subject line: I freaked her out with this thing
I want: Someone else to put sunscreen on my three year old so I don't have to stop working.
I love: The sounds I hear from my office
I wish: I had an assistant.
I am totally, majorly obsessing over: The half of Pop Tart I ate for no reason.

Check back later for the rest!

Being a mom means: Infrequent showers
Being a wife means: Caring more about showering.
Being a business owner means: Staying in the ring.
Today I ate: Well. I didn't even use up all of my points, but I still ate too much sugar. Sugar is the devil. I was craving something sweet, so I would up eating three tablespoons of strawberry jelly. Hello! Why not just eat three tablespoons of straight sugar?
Today I drank: Two measly 10-ounce glasses of water and way too much coffee.
Heard at my dinner table: "Deal with it," as said by my three year old.
Work was: Productive. The new issue is live and super mega fabulous.
I am: Sitting in a towel with my wet, uncombed hair dripping onto my office chair—because I was anxious to do a few things for work now that the little people are sleeping and, apparently, the three minutes it takes to dry off and comb my hair was just too long.
Tomorrow I will: Drink more water, eat less jelly, do the elliptical for ten more minutes and be more grateful.

No More Beating My Brain

2008-06-24T10:18:00.007-04:00

This dang blog (or lack there of) has taunted me for the past two months.

It calls to me in the middle of the night when I'm up for a feeding—which thankfully are few and far between now that my man is eight weeks plus.

It shakes me when a cogent—and probably snarky—thought drops into my mind that would, no doubt, make a fabulous posting.

And now, two months post baby, where do I start? So much to tell. So little time.

So today whilst bobbing up and down the elliptical machine for a sacred and almost stolen-seeming 3o minutes of bliss, I said fuck it.

Yeah. I said it.

I also decided not to censor the curse words because who really says freak it or thinks in %#*?

We think in fucks and shits and mother fuckers and, well, that's it for me.

Ass and it's add-ons are not a part of my lexicon. Ass is not so much fun.

Oh, and if you're wondering about dang versus damn per the first line, I just think it's funny in a Jed Clampett kind-of-way.

(Pause to look up spelling of Clampett...and I'm back.)

So, very simply put in the immortal words of my good friend Iggy Pop: No more beatin' my brain.

Although mine isn't with liquor and drugs (though somehow I kinda wish it were); it's with bad feelings about not blogging.

And all this brings me to my latest and greatest revelation on how to do the things I wish I could do (like blog, not eat sugar, be more grateful) but just don't get one gosh darn (as said with irony) minute to do them.

Introducing:

Interview Mamazine (tm)
A Daily Q & A, Featuring and Fetishizing Me

Wake up time: 7:06 am

First thought: You slept late. Shit!

Baby was: Nestled into me, still there from a 5:30 breastfeeding.

This is: Not so great. Falling asleep with baby in the bed is dangerous—even though I did have a good hold on him.

Daughter was: Sleeping on the diagonal in our bed.

This is: Per usual. She makes our California king feels like a twin. I invoked the Sleep Fairy last week after Scarlett managed to not get up in the middle of the night and come into our bed. You know the Sleep Fairy, right? She gives kids gifts for sleeping the whole night in their own beds. She doesn't come into the house though (because my daughter is leery of strangers—even if they're fairies—in the house). You meet up with her when you're doing your errands and you call her on her cell phone. And if yours asks: she does indeed have a mommy and a daddy. She is very tiny. She can fit into the palm of your hand. Ooops. But she can carry the presents because she's very strong. She has seven siblings though you can only remember three of their names: John, Jane and Jack. She has purple and pink wings with sparkles. She is very nice.

Emails to check: 84 (just one of which was spam)

Children to feed: 1 baby. I am partially breastfeeding and mostly (now) bottle feeding. It works for me and has enabled me to feel very empowered. So suck it crazy breastfeeding meanies who try to pressure you into only breastfeeding. Moms, do the research, get educated and then do what's best for you. If you're not feeling good, strong and empowered in your decisions, your baby will feel it.

First saving the world thought: I am going to be a better recycler. Read this bonkersness: http://www.comcast.net/articles/news-science/20080623/SCI.Warming.Scientist/

Checked my town's recently delivered newsletter that details what gets recycled and how:
Commingle:
Aluminum (soda and beer cans)
Bimetal (soup, vegs and dog food cans)
Glass
Plastic

Newspapers should be bound in a twine.
Junk mail and mixed papers can be bound by twine or placed in brown
paper bags marked junk mail.
Note: You should shred your junk mail though, for your own protection.

First crazy thought: I will die of skin cancer. As said to myself as I opened the sun roof. Don't worry, I countered with: Shut up! Are you serious? Is this what you are thinking? Why don't you just say you'll die from a-a-a-a car accident. WHAT? What are you thinking? Stop! You're not going to die from either of those things and why are you letting yourself have these thoughts. Ego go away; light come in. (This is my mantra that slays the crazies.) Order was restored.

Arrived at gym: 8:10

Workout was: Super duper, man! 30 minutes on the elliptical.

Calories burned: 310

Heart rate max: 150

Today's weight: 170 (for reals—I cannot believe I just admitted it in print or type or whatever)

Baby weight still hanging on: 10 pounds

Weight still on from my first pregnancy: 20 pounds

Reason: A huge, life altering, earth shattering paradigm shift—oh, and lots of pizza, cheese, cookies and wine.

Weight still on from moving from Manhattan to NJ: 15

Reason: Moving to the suburbs is hella scary, folks.

Total weight to lose: 45 pounds

Clothes in my closet fit a girl who is: 45 pounds lighter. Jesus.

Days a week I am working out as of two weeks ago: 5

Second bananas thought: Ed McMahon looks so old and feeble. He is crying behind that smile. He is old. He is sad. I should send him money. To which I said: Don't pity people. Who are you to pity him? And anyway, send some money to yourself, sister. Seriously.

Feeling: Awesome. God love endorphins.

Breakfast: Organic high fiber cereal, skim milk, coffee, aka, 2 Weight Watchers points.
Oh, I am doing Weight Watchers. It rules.

Today's childcare is brought to you by: My mom who scoops up my daughter for a day at the pool and the park.

Work begins at: 9:30

To be continued...

Phew! 11 hours later almost to the minute.

The official Q & A will begin tomorrow. Think: part slam book, part free association. I think it's going to be a helpful tool to force me to check in with myself.

So, no more stressing over wanting to blog but not having the time. Check!

And no more beating my brain. Check!

Well, for now, anyway.

Apocalypse Now

2008-04-19T06:31:00.006-04:00

Okay, so I am typing away at my trusty computer, starting my day's work, noticing the lines in my wrists from the water currently hanging out there—lovely.

I must say that I looked good up until about a week ago, but since then I've transitioned into the u-g-l-y. I don't have an alibi. It seems like the uggs are making up for lost time, too. Yuck.

Anyway, I'm waiting. Five days until D-Day.

For a while, when everyone said I'd go early, I told them that I needed every ounce of time—to finish my new office, to tweak the babe's room, to carpet, to clean, to write very late baby shower thank you notes, to work, work, work, to deal. Well, after today, it'll all be done. The man just has to pull out the ol' car seat and we're ready to rock 'n' roll. Oh, and I have to pack, but I've got a list for that—because I am a lunatic—so it'll take five minutes.

I've even managed to do all of the most important things like waxing, pedicure, highlights and manicure, which I did too early and have since bitten or picked off—again lovely. Listen folks, this birthing thing is one big photo opp—whether you like it or not—and you do not want to be caught looking el crappo into perpetuity. Lordy, that happened to me with my daughter's birth. I shudder to think of those puffy, non-makeuped photos. Who knew? Wait, my mom knew. She practically begged me to brush my hair and put on a little lip gloss, but I didn't listen.

Anyway, here I sit on the verge of a major life change. It's so weird to actually know that you're life is going to change forever. Most changes just happen sans notification, but with childbirth, it's all a bit apocalyptic feeling. Well, minus the total destruction and extreme negative connotations of the word. Kinda. I actually mostly mean it in a good way. When you have a baby, your life—and your sanity—is blown into bits, but when you can finally reassemble the parts, you are able to put it back together better than before. It's scary and difficult and daunting and exhausting, but it's also exhilarating and amazing and powerful and cool. Who needs a comfort zone anyway? Life is about going after the things that make your stomach drop. It really is.

Now I'm just waiting for mine to drop a little bit more.

Stay tuned.

The Nature and Nurture Issue

2008-04-01T05:54:00.005-04:00

In all of my baby-'bout-to-drop bonanzaing, I forgot to blog about our April issue.

It's the Nature and Nurture issue, and, of course, it rules.
It's all about how to take care of yourself, your family and the world.

THE NATURE AND THE NURTURE
HOW TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF, YOUR FAMILY AND THE WORLD

WIN AWESOME GIVEAWAYS
FOR THOSE WHO WANNA ROCK—COOLER KIDDIE MUSIC
CLASSIC READS FOR YOUR CHILD GENIUS
THESE GREEN PRODUCTS CLEAN UP NICELY
THIS MOM KNOWS THAT ALL GREAT PEOPLE START SMALL
WHAT HAPPENS WHEN A MATERIAL GIRL PROCREATES?
MAKEUP TO MAKE YOU FEEL PRETTY, OH SO PRETTY
SPRING INTO STYLE THE SEASON'S GUIDE TO SEXY SKIN
GET YOUR ACT TOGETHER NOW
TEACH YOUR CHILDREN TO GIVE BACK
SHAPE UP AND SLIM DOWN—INSIDE AND OUT
ORGANIC PRENATAL IS A NATURAL
TEN TIPS FOR A STRESS-FREE PREGNANCY
THE FRESHEST MATERNITY WEAR LOOKS
APRIL IS NATIONAL AUTISM MONTH—FIND OUT MORE

Check it!

Love is a Battlefield

2008-03-10T08:07:00.003-04:00

Here's this week's Mama Says tip:

It's easy to be spiritual and love mankind when you're having a good day. But how do you act when you're having a not-so-good day?

Next time you're feeling off, under the weather or down and out, use it to push yourself to feel the love. It's in these moments of desperation, anger, boredom, fatigue and blah that you can actually grow the most.

Foster an attitude of gratitude, for everything in your life—large and small. And you’ll see how your outlook on life changes when you focus on the good and not harp about the not-so-good.

You've got to work at being the person you are supposed to be. It isn't always easy, but it's definitely worth it.

Try it today. I bet something miraculous comes of it.

For more good tips, go to http://www.thefamilygroove.com/mama_says_archives.htm

Shop, Girl!

2008-03-06T12:39:00.002-05:00

Recession, recmeshion!

Whether it's gift after gift for all your best gal pals' kiddos and new babes or some must-have treats for yourself, shop happens.

Thankfully, THE FAMILY GROOVE is giving you 34 super duper ways to save.

Click here to check out the best discounts this side of daylight savings.

10% off.

20% off.

Free shipping.

Baby gear.

Furniture.

Clothing.

Hair stuff.

Homewares.

Party favors.

Stationary.

And so much more.
It's all good in the 'hood—parenthood!

The Children Issue

2008-02-27T20:03:00.003-05:00

It's here!
It's here!
It's here.

Check out March's The Children Issue for:
THE BEST TOYS
IT'S A JUNGLE IN THESE COOL KIDDIE SPACES
COOL KIDS' PARTY IDEAS
ONE MOTHER'S TALE OF HER FIRST TIME
VANESSA MATHISON TALKS PEACE OF MIND AND HER NEW CLOTHING LINE
SPRING INTO THESE LOOKS
THE BEST BATH AND BODY PRODUCTS FOR YOUR BROOD
THAT'S A DIAPER BAG?
SAVE THEIR LIVES: GET YOUR KIDS INTO FITNESS NOW
THE LATEST PARENTING TRENDS
EAT MORE VEGETABLES—HERE'S HOW
WHAT'S IN A BABY NAME?
GREAT GREEN KIDDIE GEAR
PRETTY SPRING MATERNITY WEAR
FIVE FAB PIECES
WHAT HAS YOUR CHILD TAUGHT YOU?
DO SOMETHING IMPORTANT: SUPPORT MY STUFF BAGS
There's so much good information and so many truly fantastic articles.

Get reading, folks!

D.A.E.D.—Daughters Against Emailing Drunk

2008-02-25T11:30:00.003-05:00

Good daughters shouldn't let their mothers email drunk:

"Okay, so there is snow on the ground and I am home with Auggie! After 2 homemade margaritas, it has occurred to me that it is A LOT of pressure being our age! Ex: don't eat fat, bologna, salami, pastrami,potato chips, salt, sugar, carbs! No flour, no alcohol, no alcohol, no alcohol, no nothing! And of course, no drugs! Nothing but exercise, yoga, clean eating and getting in touch with your inner Oprah! So what's left?

Well, there's the responsibility of your elderly parents who are soon to die or have already; worrying about the fact that the stock market is down......and you are, too; worrying that 1 out of 10 peeps who are upside down on their mortgages. You have to remember not to go out in the sun, wear sunblock with titanium oxide etc., and forget the fact that your waist is expanding, your mind is retreating,and your business is so off! Oh, your hair is thinning, your beard is growing, your feet are twisting, and your sex life is less thrilling than an ice cream sundae (or 3 glasses of wine, 2 Long Island Iced Teas). And I almost forgot that you have to sit back while you watch your adult kids make their mistakes. And then there's the big decision of which antidepressants to take. How the F *&# do you honor your soul and go after your life's purpose with all that swirling about?

My generation, the "Me" generation, has been duped! Where do we go from here?

Kisses, Your old friend, sister, mother, niece, business associate and bon vivant."
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

It is impressive that all that was done from her BlackBerry. She's on it more than I am. Oh, dear Baby Boomers, where did your fight go?

True Colors

2008-02-24T15:03:00.004-05:00

I've streamlined my life greatly over the past four or so years. I've had to. Between marriage, moving to the suburbs, divorce, marriage-ish, three start-ups, two mortgages, one child and one on the way and one cold, hard foray into adulthood (of which I went kicking and screaming—on the inside), I realized there's no time to sugar coat, no time to twist the truth for what I perceived as the sake of sparing others (who do I think I am to spare others? why did I think they needed sparing?), no time to be anything but who I am.

For a while, I had to fight my instinct to not tell the truth—be it about myself, my life or some rather insignificant situation. It astounded me that truth telling wasn't always my knee-jerk reaction. My man was the one who would point out that the truth is the way to go. Forget white lies to spare people's feelings or obvious omissions to avoid consequences; just tell the truth. Simple. Easy. He'd remind me that if your life is governed by honorable actions and honest intent, then there's never a reason to feel like your truth is not okay. If someone can't handle your truth, that's their problem. If you act from kindness, consideration, grace and empathy, then you can rest assured knowing that your intentions are pure and it's not your lot in life to make others understand from where you are coming. All you have to do is honor your word—to yourself and others—and you'll never have to slide around the truth or overcompensate with some gratuitous excuse again.

For a good three or so years, I have been living in truth—to myself and to others—for the very most part. I cannot begin to tell you how much more time and energy (actual physical and mental energy) I have regained. Just following through on my word, not being afraid to show who I am and dealing from my own truth have given me wings to soar and a real happiness that I had not previously known.

So, next time you go to fudge an excuse or hold back on expressing yourself or mask your inner thoughts and desires, remember: the truth shall set you free.

From today's Daily Conscious Tune Up:

Most of us aren’t 100% real. We are too afraid to show our true colors, to unfurl the flag of our true thoughts and emotions. We think people would run away screaming if they saw what we really looked like. Or we think they would fire us, drop us, hate us, judge us, tell others, or worse if we spoke from the heart.

Life is too short to waste it being fake.

Today, find the true grit needed to be who you are. Say what’s on your mind. Let your true face speak. The more you accept who you are – and share it with others – the less energy you will need to spend on hiding.

I've Been Locked Inside Your Heart Shaped Box

2008-02-15T06:20:00.007-05:00

Ba-humbug!

I was never into Valentine's Day.

If there's any holiday that epitomizes the height of capitalism and modern-day marketing, V Day is it. And despite my reverence for both juggernauts, I detested the manufactured holiday on sheer contrarian principle.

How typical of our Puritanical society to reserve passion and love for one measly day!

How lame of people to fall for it, buying over priced roses, all-too-sweet chocolates in heart shaped boxes and being forced to go out for a "romantic" dinner!

What the hell are these people doing the rest of the year? Do they really need an excuse to give flowers, gorge on chocolate and spend quality time with their mates?

What's wrong with people who aren't romantic all the time? What's wrong with people for whom love and lust and passion and fabulous Godiva open oysters (at lord knows what price per pound) isn't a part of their daily routine?

And then I had a kid.

Oh.

Oooooooooooooooh.

I get it.

Why, if there were a prize for queen of V Day, I'd a been a contender. My daughter, who is just about three, fell for the charade hook, line and sinker. And just who propagated the charade, you ask?

Moi.

From letting her stay up late to watch Charlie Brown's something or other Valentine's Day thingie thing to the two heart-shaped cakes we baked to the ceremonial making of the valentines for her school mates, I helmed the evil empire of Hallmark, marching it right into my house to the complete and total delight of my impressionable toddler.

And then there was all the brouhaha that her school made over the day, in conjunction with the hullabaloo that everyone, from servers to check out girls to bank tellers, incited, the perfect red tea roses my dad sent her and the sweet cards her dad gave her.

There was no escaping the love.

And so, as I sit here, hungover from all the sugar of yesterday's antics, tired from a late "romantic" dinner with my man (note: I cannot remember the last time that we were alone together out of the house) and reflecting on the fun I, on behalf of our Puritanical, brain-washing society, fostered for my wide-eyed little girl, I can't help but feel good about it.

My daughter had a damn good day...and, actually, so did I.

I Want to Be the Girl With the Most Cake

2008-02-08T10:20:00.000-05:00

The mom chatter of late has centered around the rising and ridiculous cost of and effort behind kids' birthday parties. First of all, like I said, there's the cost, which is astronomical. Second, there's the guilt over being a good greeny liberal and still giving into the excess that is the kiddie party. And last, there is the fear that these little ones will be as spoiled and, subsequently, f-ed up as we all are.

What to do?

My girlfriend, Nicole, who lives out in LA, just threw her daughter a first birthday party to beat the band. Every detail from the return address labels in just the right font to the personal and funny thank you notes, the Photoshopped party favors (a post-mod compilation of her daughter's fav adult songs done tot-style) to the cake (which should have it's own TV show, it's so stunning) popped—but not in that terrible keeping-up-with-the-Joneses way. Not at all.

From A to Z, the elements of the party had style and flair and self-aware over-the-topness that rendered them hip and fresh sans the creepy. Nicole is a punk rock Martha who wholly understands a good through line and she feted her daughter the only way she knew how: fabulously. Is this so wrong?

What ever happened to the motto, if you're going to do something, do it right?

And anyway, it's really not our faults. Years of reading In Style and Vogue, seeing Colin Cowie specials and watching MTV have honed our aesthetics and raised our expectations. So, it follows that our kids' parties are going to be choreographed better than an Vincent Minelli musical. For Nicole, her daughter's first had nothing to do with filling a void or being a show-off; it was the natural and obvious way she chose to celebrate.

So lay off, all you nay-sayer moms who poo-poo the big parties and the hullabaloo required to pull them off. It's our party—well, it's their party—and we'll do it up if we want to.

Or at least make a slight attempt to join us in our detail-oriented, pop culture-pastiching, everything-has-to-be-juuuuuust-right brigade—so we can feel a little better about the pony rental and the extra cost for the personalized stamps.

Love, Parenthood Style

2008-02-05T11:07:00.001-05:00

V Day is almost here.

Check out these cool lovey-dovey things.

From the romance kits to the champagne, the sexy bra and the cake to the pills and book, you've got insta-Valentine's Day.

Is it a totally corny holiday? Yes. Should you do it up big time anyway. Yes.

Sex, Love and Parenthood

2008-01-31T00:40:00.000-05:00

Our crazy, sexy, cool February issue is live!

This month:
Win Fabulous Giveaways
Romance Up Your Home
Meet the Love Doctor
One Mom Says Sex After Baby Gets Better and Better
Sexy Scents
Gorgeous Makeup
Hot Jewelry
How to Handle the 10pm Headache—If You Know What We Mean
Teach Your Kids to Love
A Kid-Friendly Divorce—Is It Possible?
Go Green in the Bedroom
Babyproof Your Marriage
Pregnancy Lingerie—Yes, We're Serious
Early Spring Maternity Wear You'll Love
Five Fab Pieces
How Has Your Relationship Changed Now that You're Parents?
Do Something Important: Support Pajama Program

CLICK HERE TO GET IN ON THE LOVE

I'm Starting with the Woman in the Mirror

2008-01-21T11:25:00.000-05:00

Check out our Mama Says: Tip of the Week

Think one person can't make a difference? Think again.

If you want to affect change and solve the big problems of the world, start by changing yourself.

Have more patience, go slower, be nicer, share more, love the people who annoy you, treat your competitors with dignity.

Every step you take toward being a better person brings the world closer to a much needed peace.

Click here for more good ones.

What's My Line?

2008-01-18T13:57:00.000-05:00

One of our beloved TFG family members is writing a book about motherhood and asked me to contribute a quote on the postpartum period.

It was difficult to reduce the whole dizzying, life-changing, pushing-you-to-the-limits-of-your-sanity time down to one concise, cogent thought, but here's what I said:

"As the madness of modern day motherhood scrambles what's left of your sleep-deprived sanity, you actually find yourself living life how it was meant to be lived: in a state of being truly, truly grateful for the little things—like peeing alone in the bathroom, door closed."

What say you on the subject? Email me at jillian@thefamilygroove.com.

You Better Think

2008-01-15T07:08:00.000-05:00

From today's Daily Conscious Tune-Up:

If you want to know what your life looks like, look at your thoughts. If you don't like what you see, then change the way you think about life.

Most of us are stuck in thoughts of fear, disappointment, anger, and regret. We recycle the same stinkin' thinkin' again and again and again. It feels so suffocating after a while, doesn't it?

Today, air your mind out. Open the window and let the breeze come through. Stick your head out. See those people over there? They are potential new friends. Go talk to them. See that Help Wanted sign? That’s your new career. Walk in and submit an application.

Allow new, happy, optimistic thoughts to take over for a change.

What's on your mind?

Play, Thing!

2008-01-13T08:16:00.000-05:00

Since I got an iPod from Christmas (yes, I was the last person on the planet to have one), I've been going to the gym six times a week—and actually pushing myself while there. Imagine that!

What's the reason for the push? A lot of things, I suppose—an ever begetting drive to be in shape, feel good, look good, be happy, not gain a ton of weight while preggo (and still eat a ton of cookies), a little me time, etc.—but none more immediate and yearning than the desire to listen to music.

So, here's what's moving me right now (on shuffle, of course). Are they my all my all-time fav songs ever? No. But will they keep you on that dang elliptical machine at 8 for 45 minutes? Yes.

Alphabet St., Prince
Got to Give It Up, Marvin Gaye
Gold Lion, Yeah Yeah Yeahs
Dare, Gorillaz
Hung Up, Madonna
Everybody, Madonna
Big Pimpin', Jay-Z
Workin' Day and Night, Michael Jackson
Closer, Nine Inch Nails
Head Like a Hole, Nine Inch Nails
Cherub Rock, Smashing Pumpkins
Fire Woman, The Cult
Put Your Hands Where My Eyes Could See, Busta Rhymes
Why Can't This Be Love, Van Halen
Ain't Talking Bout Love, Van Halen
Violet, Hole
Miss World, Hole
Rock Star, Hole
Set Adrift On Memory Bliss, P.M. Dawn
Dragula, Rob Zombie
The Dope Show, Marilyn Manson
Don't Tell Me, Madonna
Show Me How To live, Audioslave
Cochise, Audioslave
A Little Respect, Erasure
Thieves In the Temple, Prince
Harlem Shuffle, The Rolling Stones
Shattered, The Rolling Stones
Monkey Man, The Rolling Stones
Rock and Roll, Led Zeppelin
Fortunate Son, Creedence Clearwater Revival
Jungle Love, The Time
The Glamorous Life, Sheila E
A Love Bizarre, Sheila E
Sugar Walls, Sheena Easton
Juicy, The Notorious B.I.G.
Big Poppa, The Notorious B.I.G.
California Love, 2pac

Hate 'em or love 'em—I guarantee they will keep you moving.

Got more on the go-go songs? Post them here or email them to me at jillian@thefamilygroove.com.

Mad Cow

2008-01-11T10:58:00.000-05:00

Well, today is the day that I finally feel pregnant. As visions of Nicole Richie dance in my head, I just realized (because I am so damn good at delusion) that this ain't no celebrity pregnancy.

I had more or less managed to stave off the feeling thus far, thanks to a combo of working out, drinking tons of water and having a good attitude; but last night's fajitas were the tipping point. The weight gain is still pretty small (and, no, I am not some total freakazoid pregnant woman who obsesses over her weight—well, you know, not a total freakazoid), but the bloat is on (as said to a Glen Frye beat).

The real purpose of this post is not to complain, but to exclaim the complete and total panacea that is working out. My fellow preggo dudettes, get your asses to the gym; skip the lunches out and Starbucks and invest in a trainer; and/or just move something. Working out daily (daily-ish) on my own and working out weekly with the uber-fabulous Lori Sawyer (www.mommy-moves.com) has kept me on a mental, physical, emotional and spiritual high, the likes of which I can not accurately express in words.

Despite the necessary weight gain and the unnecessary bloat (evil fajitas!), I am stronger and in better shape than I have been in years—since I left Manhattan, actually. And motivation begets motivation, so making a goal to work out and then doing it really, truly impacts all areas of your life.

Well, off to pound down some water in an effort to rid myself of last night's salt fiesta. Puff Mommy is not a becoming moniker.

Other good names for this post: Boss Hog and Heifer National.

Sunny and Share

2008-01-10T07:33:00.000-05:00

It's going to be a brisk, but not cold, sunny day today.
The sun is just entering my office. I feel like I've lived a lifetime since I awoke. Oh, the gambit
of emotion, thought, love, hate, fear, panic, happiness, sadness, calm and chaos that has echoed through my mind's eye in such a brief time. Despite the roller coaster, I still did everything I endeavored to do:

Return emails 5:30 am
Workout 6am
Return emails 6:45am
Get kiddo up. Remember what living is about: sharing—in this case myself and my full consciousness with my daughter. 7:15am
Sit down in office chair to actively stress over day. Forget what living is about. 7:25am
Get Daily Conscious Tune-up. Remember again. 7:30am
Remember what living is about. So here's today's Tune-up, from them to me to you.7:37am
See below:

One of my favorite definitions of fear is:

False
Evidence
Appearing
Real

Fear is one big bluff; it’s an imaginary brick wall we are meant to run through — head first. Think about it. Haven’t some of your biggest achievements come as a result of pushing through your terror and anxiety?

Today, jump into the scary moments and know you’ll be able to deal. This is where the real potential for growth is concealed.

Now go forth and share something—a smile, a kind word, an ear to listen, a quarter for the meter, a truth, anything—with the people in your world.

$10 and a Dream

2008-01-07T20:52:00.000-05:00

A lovely woman sent me an impassioned email last night about www.asmallvictory.org, a charity that helps families deal with stillbirths, miscarriages and neonatal deaths, of which there are a reported one million annually, via information, support and Loss Kits that are intended to ease parents' bereavement.

Thusly moved by her personal account of loss and how A Small Victory helped her, I checked out the site.

Here's what I found:

A Small Victory is taking part in the Case Foundation and Parade Magazine: America’s Giving Challenge. If A Small Victory can get at least 200 individuals to each donate $10 or more by January 31st, we would have a chance to win this challenge. If we won this challenge, we would have the ability to help over 500 families that experience the tragedy of losing a baby. The entire Challenge is designed to take place online, involving the use of such everyday activities as e-mailing, blogging, and social networking. Anyone can donate using a valid credit card through Network for Good. The challenge ends January 31 at 3pm EST so we have to get going!
The objective here is to have as many people as you can donate to your cause. Duplicate donations from the same individual will only be counted once. This has nothing to do with how much money we raise but has everything to do with the number of supporters we have.
Don’t put it off! Give now! Visit asmallictory.org/give and donate and then send this link to friends, family, and colleagues. If you’re a member of a social networking site, like MySpace, post the link on your Profile page. From there, it’s easy to share it with the friends in your different online networks. Got a blog? Post the link there, too!
I am not kidding about this. This could help hundreds of families all over. We are now sending our Kits all over the US and even to Canada. Go now and donate - then pass it on!

If you've got $10 to spare, why not send it Small Victory's way?

Small victories lead to big ones.

Mean Girls

2008-01-06T10:50:00.001-05:00

We just launched a new monthly column called "Postcards from the Edge—of Parenthood." (I hope Princess Leia doesn't get all cease and desist on us.) Written by TFG's own super cool mom-entator Sasha Brown-Worsham, the columns—I've read the first three so far—are really well-done.

January's is about mean moms. Are you one? Are you one by mistake? Click here to find out.

My Baby's Got a Secret

2008-01-03T11:38:00.000-05:00

Our January issue is a-live and kicking!

Click here to peep The Secret: Managing the Madness of Modern Day Motherhood.

It's such a good issue—if I do say so myself.

Look for:
Must-Read Mommy Books
How to turn Your Home in to a Zen Palace
Postcards from the Edge—of Parenthood
A Single Mom's Tale of Success, True Love and Cosmos
Relax! Just Say Spaaaaaaah
Easy Beauty
What Not To Wear
Working Mommy Guilt No More
How to Fit into Your Skinny Jeans Again
It's Easy Being Green
What You Really Need to Know About Being a Parent
Ten Things That Will Make Your Life Easier
Liz Lange Wants You to Indulge
Five Fabulous Pieces
These Moms Want You to Know...
What is Rett's Syndrome?

And more, more more!

Digging in the Dirt

2008-01-02T07:33:00.000-05:00

Oh lordy.....
Forgive me Blogger, for I have sinned: it's been three and a half months since my last post.
So much writing for THEFAMILYGROOVE.com and so little time for introspection—not a good thing, I suppose.

But, anyway, I am back and eight pounds heavier—or so I can revel in until next Tuesday's OB appointment when I find out what damage the holidays have wreaked. Just three and a half months to go before Baby Brother, as Scarlett would prefer him to be called, arrives.

The last six and a half have gone by in a flash, but this time in a good, conscious, awake way verses the first pregnancy during which I completely ignored my growing belly—and the person inside of it. It feels good to feel connected and to allow myself to live in my own skin. I guess it's a function of being in my thirties, all the life lessons that Scarlett has taught me, allowing myself to trust in my relationship with my man, growing up because at some point you just have to, my spiritual endeavors and my recommitment to health and fitness that have guided, empowered and inspired me to be here now. Or perhaps it's the endorphins from my 6:15am workout coupled with the medium coffee I just guzzled. Whatever the reasons, I'll take this current presence of mind.

And just when you feel at peace, just when you think you've got a nice slice of pie, just when you think you've got it sorted, the Universes comes a-calling. Today's Daily Conscious Tune Up from Kabbalah says:
It’s easy to be spiritual when we are lacking. But it’s not so easy to maintain the flame once we’ve been satiated.

I have people coming to me all the time who are desperate to fix their difficulties. But they don’t have the same intensity of desire once they get what they want. As soon as the relationship is better, the money is back in the bank, or the health is restored, they’re not as willing to do whatever it takes to connect. I am guilty of this as well.

Drawing energy and maintaining an awareness of the Light is more important after we get what we want because it’s without agenda. It’s a higher level of spiritual connection.

Recall a major prayer that was answered. Do you remember the intense desire you had prior to getting what you wanted? Allow it to resurface today and by doing so, you will receive even more fulfillment in that area.

It annoyed me and my first thought was to ignore it, so I know it's a truth. Yup, it's time to dig again; time to drudge; time to shed light.

Here's to a very dirty 2008! May you never stop digging.

Here I Go Again

2007-09-19T07:24:00.000-04:00

Gasp! For shame!

I have not blogged in one whole month.

When people ask why I've fallen off the blog-an, my first thought is: I dunno—I guess I have nothing to say lately. But, upon deeper thought—yes, this does require deeper thought—the answer is a host of things from www.thefamilygroove.com being hella busy as we prepare for the success of the first and second quarters of 2008 and work to take the editorial to new levels to the inevitable and often scary sitter transition from summer to fall schedules to an overarching sense of queasiness.

Yup.

Uh huh.

I, like every woman I know or so it seems, am pregnant. 9-ish weeks. Just as my life has calmed down, sorted out and freed up, here I go again. Am I bananas to think it will be different this time? Am I totally coo-coo to think that I can handle it better than I did the first time around?

All of my friends with two youngins say it's totally hard and it completely challenges every fiber of your being—ya mean like it did the first time?

The great news is that my life is completely different this time around and I am in a much better, happier and more empowered state. And, thankfully, I have THE FAMILY GROOVE to help me find, well, my groove during the pregnancy and beyond.

So between THE FAMILY GROOVE, my spiritual work and a renewed sense of self-discipline, I do feel wholly empowered to rock my way through this new phase of my life, including the actual birth, which mega sucked it the first time around.

And speaking of self-control, since I weigh exactly 20 pounds more than I did when I got pregnant with Scarlett, my doctor told me to gain 10 to 15 maximum, so the total would still be in the top of the good range (35 pounds). I am not too worried. I only gained 27 pounds the first time around and I was not working out and eating healthfully then. Although, I must say that all I want to eat are bagels and pasta. Evil carbs!

I'll be back with updates on my exercise routine (I am starting to work out with super trainer Lori Sawyer www.mommy-moves.com next week), crazy hormone-related thoughts, baby gear obsessions and more bumpy accounts from life on the front lines of motherhood.

Bullet proof vest sold separately.

Barbie is an Evil Doer: The Boycott Begins

2007-08-14T11:20:00.001-04:00

Oh, I've been such a bad blogger. Between work and VHI reality shows, my time and brain have been sucked out.

But, I am back to give yet another link for a Mattel recall: http://www.service.mattel.com/us/recall.asp

I am pissed.

As parents, we have enough to worry about without fearing Barbie, Dora and Polly Pocket.

I say we boycott.

Well, I am boycotting—do you hear that Mattel?

And I am rallying my moms-in-arms to do the same.

No more Mattel or any of it's other companies until they stop making toys in China and/or prove to every last sleep deprived, caffeine-fueled, over-taxed parent that they've stopped cutting corners.

So, take that Barbie—I always knew you were a bitch.

Total Recall

2007-08-01T21:43:00.000-04:00

Gross...and other unladylike words!

Mattel/Fisher Price found LEAD in a bunch of their toys.

Check out this link: http://service.mattel.com/us/recall/default.asp?recall_id=52430

Supposedly if you bought any of the items recalled before May 1, 2007, you are safe.

I have to check it out again though.

Not cool.

Mr. Brown Can Moo. Can You?

2007-07-18T12:43:00.000-04:00

Not too much time to blog—just finishing up my September issue. Yes, it's finals week again.

Here's what I emphatically have to say: Get off of dairy.

Stop it.

Stop it now.

I've been dairy-free for two weeks and I feel like a new person.

My skin is stunning; my mind is clear; my stomach is flatter; my step is springing.

The whites of my eyes are getting whiter—for real, folks.

Be sure to supplement with calcium-rich foods like peas and broccoli and start popping a good calcium pill (I am taking a combo calcium/magnesium/zinc one) and vitamin D (D3 is the D to take).

Don't go too heavy on the soy in reaction to the missing dairy either. Soy can mess with your hormones. I've been using rice milk, which is quite tastalicious.

So, mooooooove away from dairy and mooooooove into a healthier, happier you.

Just mooooo it!

Week Minded 7

2007-07-10T10:44:00.000-04:00

Tuesday, July 10:

The Weigh-In: Da na na naaaaa: Four pounds. Okay, so four pounds in one week is great, especially considering that I had the July 4th afternoon and evening debacle and Saturday night wedding. I also look much more narrow and toned.

However, I know that some of the loss can be attributed to the colonics—I had another one yesterday late afternoon. (This one was much easier. It left me feeling fantastic. One more to go to complete the series.) As such, I know that the wine here and there, stolen bites of dessert and the such all added up to not being as successful as I could have been.

I'm not an over-achieving freakazoid. I know that I have to take things one step at a time and be grateful for little victories—which I do and I am. But this week was about strength of mind over matter and integrity of my word. If you don't have integrity of your word to yourself, then there's no way you'll have in other areas of your life.

I didn't have impeccable integrity of my word this week: I had a few more drinks than I should have; I had more sweets than I should have. I had gratuitous sips of coffee. Why? I was the one who chose to eliminate coffee, so why wouldn't I listen to my own advice/mandate. Interesting. Very interesting.

Anyway, psychoanalysis aside, I feel rocket-propelled. I feel lithe and alive. I feel even more committed to powering ahead on this path of physical, mental, emotional and spiritual awakening. I feel even more committed to aligning my actions with my words (intentions) and vice versa.

I'll continue to journal sans blog—so as not to bore the readers with such extreme tedium— as a way of keeping my eating, supplement-taking, working out, intentions and actions in check.

Thanks for obliging me in my week of strength. I know it was my ego/vanity/fear of being exposed as a failure that helped keep me in line. However, now all the good behavior has taken hold, allowing me persevere for the right reasons.

Stay tuned...

The Workout
5:45 am: Woke up psyched to get my arse to the gym.
6:15 am: Triceps, biceps, shoulders, chest, upper and lower back, 50 push ups, 50 dips, 125 sit ups on the bally ball, followed by 30 minutes of elliptical cardio at level 4. Just can't seem to move it up yet.

The Food:
7:25 am: Homemade low sodium, organic chicken soup from the gym cafe. One digestive enzyme pill.

8:00 am: Green tea.

8:30 am: One brown rice waffle, 1/4 tablespoon (or so) of low fat Smart Balance butter, dollup of syrup. I estimate the breakfast to be about 300 calories, aka the same amount that took me 30 minutes to burn on the elliptical.

Supplements: One acidophilus, 2 B, 4 D3 (the new way to D—apparently), one whole nutrient multi, one calcium/magnesium/zinc, one tablespoon of flax seed oil with Omegas 3, 6, 9, four ounces of active aloe.

12:30 pm: Portobella mushrooms sauteed in a little hazelnut oil and egg whites.

3:30 pm: Protein shake with water and a banana.

5:30 pm: Cup of roasted eggplant and tomato soup, salad with shrimp, tomatoes and asparagus. Too many of babe's fries and a bite of her chicken tender. In the words of Michael J :Who's bad?

Week Minded 6

2007-07-09T16:05:00.000-04:00

Monday, July 9:

The Workout
6:15 am: Legs (quads, hamstrings, calves), including a killer squat set. 50 dips, 50 push ups, 125 sit ups and 30 minutes of cardio at 4.

The Food
8:00 am: Two non-wheat (brown rice) waffles, a dab of lowfat Smart Balance, 2 tablespoons of maple syrup.
Supplements: Flax seed oil with Omegas 3, 6, 9, 4 ounces of live aloe, one acidolphilus.

8:30 am: Green tea. You are supposed to wait one hour after eating before you drink. Today it was just luck.

9:00 am-12:30 pm: Tepid water

12:45 pm: One small chicken breast from last night's dinner. Held in a napkin and eaten while working—no wonder I have digestive problems.

2:00-5:00 pm: Tepid water

5:00 pm: Hunger mounting. Brown rice crackers and hummus.

5:45 pm: Half a piece of grilled chicken breast, a few slices of avocado, a spelt English muffin with a dab of soy butter (craving bread big time!) and a handful of Babe and babe's waffle fries. Even though they are organic and lower fat than regular ones, I really have no excuse. 4 ounces of white wine.
Supplements: Digestive enzymes, one calcium/magnesium/zinc, one acidophilus, one multi, 2 B.

8:30 pm: Green tea.

Tomorrow's the last day of my Week Minded challenge—and yet it's just the beginning.

Week Minded 5

2007-07-08T11:35:00.000-04:00

Sunday, July 8:

The Workout
No 6:30 am today. Even though I was up, I just couldn't get it together to go—alcohol was still coursing through my veins. Waiting for Babe to return home from baseball game so I can go—looking forward to it greatly.

12:30 pm: Slight hangover is looming, but I decide not to let it stop me. Triceps, biceps, back, shoulders, 100 sit ups, 50 push ups, 30 minutes of cardio at level 4 (still).

The Food
8:30 am: One small organic spelt pancake, a dab of soy butter and dip of organic syrup. Three sips of coffee with rice milk. Worked through the litany of things I was craving: a pumpernickel bagel with lox and chive cream cheese; eggs with American cheese; anything but the things I could have. I methodically intellectualized my way through it though and immediately got over the craving.

11:39 am: Green tea. Not hungry at all.
Supplements: Tbsp of flax seed oil with Omegas 3, 6, 9, 4 ounces of live aloe juice, 2 ounces of prune juice.

1:30 pm: Starving. Should have grabbed a few almonds or something before I went to the gym. Apres workout: one cup of homemade chicken soup and grilled turkey, asparagus and brown rice (just a few forkfuls) from gym cafe. Water.

5:00 pm: Want chips. Eat five brown rice crackers and hummus. Don't want the chips anymore.

6:15 pm: Grilled chicken in Mediterranean marinade, half of a corn on the cob, tomato and arugula salad with splash of olive oil, balsamic vinegar and ground flax seeds. Water.

Week Minded 4

2007-07-07T10:26:00.000-04:00

Saturday, July 7:

The Workout
6:30 am: Legs (quads, hamstrings, calves), dips, 100 sit ups, 50 push ups.

The Weigh-In: Lost two pounds since yesterday—must be mainly from the colonic.

The Food
8:00 am: A few pieces of cantaloupe—because my Daree, the lovely woman who gave me the colonic, reminded me that you're not supposed to eat fruit with other food, only before. Fruit wants to be digested in 20 minutes, while other foods take up to four hours. As such, if you eat fruit after or with a meal, it winds up getting backed up in the digestion process and turns rancid. In order to derive the maximum nutrients from the fruit and work with your body's natural digestion process, you must eat fruit at least 20 minutes before eating anything else or at least four hours after. Here's something I didn't know: melon should be eaten alone verses with other fruits. There's something about the makeup of melon that makes it not as digestable when eaten with other fruits. Apparently, many spas actually have separate melon bars and fruit bars and forbid a cross-consumption.

8:25 am: Frozen Asian vegetables, sauteed in hazelnut oil, and egg whites.

Supplements: One tablespoon of flax seed oil with Omegas 3, 6, 9, one acidolphilus, 2 B, one whole nutrient multi, one magnesium.

9:00 am: Greet tea—because Daree reminded me of what a former accupunturist used to avow: never drink while eating. Daree explained that liquids put out the fire of digestion. Interesting!

12:00 pm: Brown rice sushi sans most of the brown rice.

5:30 pm: Apres my girlfriend's gorgeous royal-ish wedding ceremony at St. John the Divine in NYC, we went for a drink to kill time before the reception, which started at 7. One glass of white, one crab cake, one bite of cheese, olives and cornichons. Let the destruction begin.

7:00 pm: Hors d'oeuvres are relatively healthy, though not so great for my ailing stomach. Ate a lot of little: shots of vichysoiss, bean salad, crab cakes, two mini gourmet BLTs (like the size of a Hershey's Kiss). Abstained from cheese and overly wheaty and dairy-seeming things. One glass of wine and one glass of water.

8:30 and beyond: Lobster souffle, salad, snapper, couscous. More wine—hard to tell how much really because the servers just fill up your glass. I could have stopped it. I didn't. I must have had another two glasses at least and a few sips of champagne.

11:00 pm: One sip of Shawn's coffee, lemon meringue on a cookie thing. No cake though.

Fortunately, the food was clean-ish and healthy-ish overall, but I could have been stricter. My stomach felt like it was in a vice by the time we left. If I had strengthened my intention, I would have kept to my word. But the reality is that I went in knowing that I'd cheat, so, of course, I cheated.

Week Minded 3

2007-07-06T12:35:00.000-04:00

Friday, July 6:

The Workout
6:30 am: Triceps, biceps, back, shoulders, 100 sit ups, 50 pus ups. 30 minutes on elliptical at 4. Ready to go next cardio level.

Weigh-In: One pound since Tuesday morning. Pretty good considering the late Tuesday debacle.

Extras: Colonic. Yup. Been wanting to do one for years and decided that now is the time in lieu of my recent GI problems. It was great—not so comfortable, but great. I was mentally and physically exhausted afterwards, which is normal.

The Food:
8:30 am: Half bowl of oatmeal, splash of rice milk, blueberries and strawberries. Green tea.

Supplements: One acidophilus, one whole nutrient multi, 2 B, one magnesium, one tbsp of flax oil with Omegas 3, 6, 9. Water.

11:30 am: Starving. Onion soup (no cheese), broth questionable (meat-based? veg-based?). It was the lesser of all evils since the rest of the soups were cream-based and I was craving soup. Water.

12:00 pm: Egg whites cooked in hazelnut oil—because olive oil should never be heated.
Water.

1:30 pm: Four pieces of turkey with a dot of mustard and a pickle—craving salt today.

5:00 pm: Brown rice crackers (practically no calories or fat...or taste) and hummus.

6:00 pm: Turkey burger, corn on the cob and baked julienned sweet potatoes, a few dips of organic ketchup (as if the organic nullifies the sugar), 4 ounces of white wine—which led to a slight sliver of Babe's homemade key lime pie.

Week Minded 2

2007-07-05T12:20:00.001-04:00

July 5:
The Workout
No usual work day 6:30 am workout. Too tired. Had to be the junk food. Will workout today at some point though.

3:42 pm: Think about going to gym at 4. Realize I'll have to go after dinner, bath, book, bed.

9:10 pm: Just got back from the gym—ya-huh! I can't believe I went. Scratch that, I knew I I'd go because I prepped for it from 3:42 on. Knowing beats believing by a landslide. 30 minutes on the elliptical at 4 (tried 5 for a hot minute). 100 sit-ups on the ball. 40 push ups.

The Food:
8:00 am: Green tea
10:30 am: Portobello mushroom and barely soup. More green tea. Met with fitness and nutrition guru to the mom stars Lori Sawyer for half an hour to talk business. Just seeing her made me recommit.

12:30 pm: 3 almonds

1:00 pm: Brown rice sushi (salmon and avocado) with most of the brown rice taken off. Three sips of tomato basil soup. Three bites of babe's chicken. Water. One piece of dark chocolate (non-dairy). Rationalization: I need the anti-oxidants.

5:00 pm: Two flaxseed crackers—no wheat, no dairy, no taste—dipped in hummus.

6:00 pm: Salmon in Mediterranean marinde, arugula and tomatos in olive oil and balsamic, two (Britney) spears of broccoli. Two tablespoons of brown rice. Water. Poured myself a glass of gorgeous Rose from the fabulous CH Wines. Took one sip and poured it out. One glass would equal no nighttime exercise.

6:40 pm: Supplements: One magnesium, two B, one whole nutrient multi, one acidophilus, one tablespoon of flax oil with Omegas 3, 6, 9.

6:41 pm: One non-dairy, non-wheat, oat-y chocolate cluster thing from Whole Foods, eaten while doing dishes. Rationalization: they were there. Water.

9:15 pm: Shot of aloe, shot of prune juice (gross). Kava tea is brewing.

Opponent .25 Jillian .75

Week Minded 1

2007-07-04T08:00:00.001-04:00

Because my brain is a sieve and my mind is illusional, here goes one week of diary-ing my eating and working out habits.

The goal: Workout every day. No coffee, no dairy, no wheat, no sugar, very little alcohol.

Calling anyone out there who's on his/her way to accomplishing something: start journaling.

Whether it's losing the 27 pounds of baby weight you gained and never lost, getting ahead in your job or finding spiritual harmony, integrity of your word will get you there.

Tuesday, July 4:
The Workout
6:45 am
Triceps, shoulders, back, abs (100 crunches on the ball), 40 push-ups, 30 minutes on elliptical trainer at 4 (only).

Did what I've been meaning to do for months now: cardio apres weights—finally, I felt something. I started off saying I'd just do 10 minutes of cardio. At 15, my endorphins kicked in. After 30 minutes I could have kept going, but I felt pressure (from myself) to come home to see what was up. Nothing was up. Babe and babe were sleeping. Babe had a late night of work and babe had a late night of identifying every noise outside her window.

Back later to report on the food.

The Food
8:30: Three egg white omelette with mushrooms and spinach. Had to order some salsa. Underestimated the role that cheese plays in making things taste good. Hot green tea. Ate half only—it's definitely not a trigger food. Had stand-off with babe's freshly baked blueberry muffin. I won. (Hear: Shot down in a blaze of glory)

9:00: Supplements: One acidophilus, one whole nutrient multi, two B, one magnesium, one tbsp flax with Omegas 3, 6, 9.

10:38: Not hungry.

1:00: Patron Silver margarita (it is July 4th), four shrimp, salad with chicken and tomatoes. 1/4 of babe's French fry. Patron Silver margarita (did I mention it's a holiday?)

4:00: Realize I should have started my week tomorrow. Corn chips and salsa. Lots. Weak.

7:00: One slice of flat bread pizza, three sips of Coke, four spoonfuls of ice cream. Am I crazy?
I never drink Coke and I rarely eat ice cream. What the hell happened?

Opponent 1 Jillian 0