Love Man

Wake up: 5:14 am
Slept for: 6 hours, up for 30 minutes, back to sleep for 45 minutes.
First thought is: How quickly can I feed this baby and get back to sleep before I have to get up at 6? Not quick enough was the answer. I reset the alarm for 6:30.
Baby is: Radiating love. It flips me out from time to time. It's so real and pure and godlike and intimate. It actually almost makes me feel uncomfortable to be in the presence of such real goodness and love.
This is: Something I need to work on, apparently.
Daughter is: Playing with her best friend (and babysitter), Meaghan.
This is: Lucky. We're very lucky to have her in our lives.
Man is: I wouldn't even endeavor to ask. He's so busy with the new issue and all the changes we're making.
This is: Stressful—for me. It doesn't seem to stress him out for some reason. I guess he just knows that he'll get it all done.
Goal for the day: Day 2 of Blueprint Cleanse is going along quite well. I'm not hungry at all. Like yesterday, I do miss the act of having lunch or a snack, but I can see that that feeling is on the wane. It's nice to be in total control.
Kabbalah says: Restrict. "Restriction (the decision not to have immediate gratification) is something we have to recommit to every morning if we want to steer our lives in new and exciting direction."First bananas thought: I could totally do this fast for weeks.
Arrive at gym: No gym today. I worked out with Lori Sawyer (www.mommy-moves.com). They tell you that you can still workout on the cleanse—in fact, they encourage it.
Workout is: Super duper. I could tell that I wasn't at 100 percent, but I still went for it.
Today's song is: Love Man by Otis Redding
Best lyric is: Six feet one weigh two hundred and ten
Best spam subject line: We need you to confirm your personal information
It's the best because: it's so mean.
I want: I always have to sit back and think on this one. Same with "I wish." I dunno. Umm....
I want to lose 8 pounds this week. I wouldn't normally set out to lose so much. It's actually unhealthy to lose so much. However, I think I will lose that much between the fast and then eating lightly post-fast (which you are supposed to do for a few days).
I love: When the way things are supposed to be starts to show itself to you.
I wish: That everyone reading this would donate to The Pediatric Epilepsy Project. Evan, the son of Vicki Forman, a friend of TFG, fellow blogger on our Blog page, gracious and eloquent writer and truly inspiration woman—you know, one of those people who leaves you better than they found you because they're so steeped in truth and goodness—has passed away. Please click here to read her blog (scroll down to read a few posts) and find out how you can donate—even if it's five dollars. You will be moved by her story.
I am totally, majorly obsessing over: Everything and nothing.
Being a mom means: Supporting other women.
Being a wife means: Having another adult around to soak up some of the insanity.
Being a business owner means: Working, even when you are exhausted, to get the job done.
Today I ate: Blueprint Cleanse day 2 went well. I wasn't tired or hungry, but I did sorely miss food. I keep forgetting to bring up the details of the cleanse—and you know, I ain't going downstairs into the kitchen right now. Too much temptation.
Today I drank: All six juices, green and white teas and water.
Work was: A lot of writing.
Today I learned: What you focus on expands.
I am: Hearing the faint din of munchkin chatter. Let me check on this...Okay, daughter back into bed.
Tomorrow I will: Seek a spark of sauciness, Bernaise. My writing was a bit bland today.

Juicy

Wake up: 5:45 am
Slept for: Almost 6 hours
First thought is: I have a cold. I've been pounding Coldease tea and acai juice for the past five hours and I used the neti pot. There is no time for a cold.
Baby is: Sleeping on my bed next to me, as I type away on this blog post, putting off the next article that I have to write. He passed out after feeding him and there's no way that I'm going to risk waking him just to get him into this crib and me into my office. Laptops rule.
This is: Not as comfortable as working in my office. Daughter is: At camp—gone from 9 to 3:30. Whoa! (as said in Joey voice).
This is: Whoa!
Man is: "I don't know. This is why I don't have a daily blog."
This is: Him.
Goal for the day: Beat this cold.
Kabbalah says: "If you are beating yourself up because you don't do enough, then it's just your ego talking. But if you are genuinely motivated by these thoughts, then it's your soul speaking."
First bananas thought: I really for some reason think that Harvey Weinstein can help us.
Arrive at gym: No gym today. Not feeling well. I should have gone though—I bet I would have felt better.
Workout is: Going to have to happen tomorrow.
Today's song is: Juicy by Biggie
Best lyric is: I let my tape rock 'til my tape popped
Best spam subject line: Boobies that boggles the mind
It's the best because: The "s" on "boggles."
I want: A cup of tea—and some sympathy.
I love: Tea and Sympathy in NYC.
I wish: The suburbs had better restaurants.
I am totally, majorly obsessing over: Cleansing
Being a mom means: Mustering energy when you just want to crawl into bed.
Being a wife means: Someone to put the kids to bed when you don't feel well.
Being a business owner means: Macro thinking and micro working.
Out of the mouths of babes: "You're the best boy mom and I could ever love"—as said to her dad.
Today I ate: Super duper mondo cleanly—except for the half cookie and bite of cake at Whole Foods.
Today I drank: Water and tea.
Work was: Victor victorious.
Today I learned: Feeling good and being healthy makes all the difference.
I am: Humbled.
Tomorrow I will: Strip away more layers.

Don't You Worry 'Bout a Thing

Wake up: 5:50 am
Slept for: About 6 hours
First thought is: Why am I so tired?
Baby is: Hanging in his Kick & Play, trying to sort out how grab the hanging things.
This is: Entertaining him long enough for me to start this post and perhaps make coffee.
Daughter is: Very sweet to him. And he absolutely, wholly adores her. I understand why he's into Shawn and me (we take care of him) but to see this natural response to his sister is so interesting.
This is: Normal, I know—but still fascinating to witness.
Man is: Still sleeping right now.
This is: Fine—he went to bed later than I did. The amount of work required to create and maintain THE FAMILY GROOVE is simply staggering.
Goal for the day: Keep my focus and energy level up. I can feel it on the wane a bit because it's been on high for so long. I used to know a woman called High Voltage (seriously) and her whole things was "Energy Up!" Saying it (kinda actually works) and doing things to support it like working out and cutting out sugar, salt, white flour, high sugar foods like carrots, corn, white potatoes, etc. She got Kylie and Danni Minogue into bomb-ass shape, amongst other celebs. She was onto something.
Kabbalah says: "Move towards that joy today. Let it color your every thought and action. When you lose focus, bring it back to the joy."
First bananas thought: I'm a bit to dim (being very dim—who gets that literary reference?) to get to the bananas level yet.
Arrive at gym: Going tonight after DB3 (dinner, bath, bed, book).
Workout is: Better late than never. Walked into the gym at 9:10 pm or so. I am warrior though. Shooting at the walls of heartache. Bang. Bang. Warriors come out and pla-a-y-yay.
Today's song is: Don't You Worry 'Bout a Thing by Stevie Wonder—I though it was just organically in my head, but I just realized that it's used in a commercial and I have the news on in the background.
Best lyric is:
Everybody's got a thing
But some don't know how to handle it
Always reachin' out in vain
Accepting the things not worth having
Best spam subject line: Angelina Jolie...
It's the best because: You know you've imprinted on the popular consciousness when you're used in a spam. It might be my second goal, after being a commentator on VHI. I mean, seriously, I know a few people who do it. What's the big deal about them? No offense to them.
I want: To be a freakin' commentator on VHI shows. Who knows more about pop culture than me? Okay, many people, but I'd still do a good job.
I love: Sparkling water. Seriously, I didn't realize I had it in the house until this evening. Drinking it feels gratifying. It's interactive—and it makes me feel fancy.
I wish: Miley Cyrus wouldn't take the Hannah Montana wig off. She looks much better as a blond.
I am totally, majorly obsessing over: Grandiose, cinematic scenes in mind that romanticize my day-to-day.
Being a mom means: Calming your own frenetic self down for the sake of your kids.
Being a wife means: Learning that Jeremy Shockey got traded to the Saints.
Being a business owner means: Do do do do do do do do do Do do do do do do do do do
Do the hustle Do do do do do do do do do Do do do do do do do do do
Out of the mouths of babes: "I am going to marry Emmet and Gabby is going to marry me."
Today I ate: Clean and lean.
Today I drank: Water.
Work was: Intense and productive. We signed with MTVN today.
Today I learned: You don't ask, you don't get.
I am: Going to shower and get back to work.
Tomorrow I will: Pull back the curtain even more.

Synchronicity II

Wake up: 5 am
Slept for: 6 hours
First thought is: I can't go to the gym. I need this morning time to work.
Baby is: Aware. So aware.
This is: The time to step it up and start engaging him even more.
Daughter is: Aware. So aware.
This is: Time to step it up and start shaping the realities of which she is aware.
Man is: Let me email to see. Okay, Man is: Thinking...always thinking.
This is: Good. We be needing some solutions thunk up.
Emails to check: 20 something, I think.
Goal for the day: Do what I say I am going to do without oozing to much gusto.
Kabbalah says: "Today, make sure your needs are met. Not the superficial desires, but the deep yearnings of your soul. Get enough air in your lungs so you'll have that much more energy to truly help others."
First bananas thought: As thought with a stain of sheer panic: They're going to do it first. We need to be first.
Arrive at gym: I have no idea when I'd be able to go to the gym today. Maybe at 5 for a half an hour, during my work pause/dinner time.
Workout is: Just not happening today. 5 came and went without a break in work.
Today's song is: Synchronicity II
Best lyric is: Mother chants her litany of boredom and frustration
But we know all the suicides are fake
Daddy only stares into the distance
There's only so much more that he can take
Best spam subject line: Elloelloello
It's the best because: It makes me think of the few years (say 18 to 22) when I was English.
I want: Promise, dammit!
I love: Porsche sunglasses. Timeless.
I wish: They made biodegradable diapers, so I wouldn't have to feel so bad. Do they, actually?
I am totally, majorly obsessing over: Courtney Love. Why is she still the coolest ever? Have you seen the image on her homepage? Did Kurt help her with Live Through This with her? This question has plagued me for like 14 years.
Being a mom means: The one-handed feed and the one-handed type.
Being a wife means: Making time.
Being a business owner means: Lateral thinking.
Out of the mouths of babes: "Ice cream makes me feel better." To which I said: "No, it doesn't; it just tastes good. Thinking happy thoughts makes you feel better." Oh, if only I had known that earlier on in life.
Today I ate: This high fiber cereal with a picture of a slightly older guy and a girl all jazzed up about fiber on the front. It's like an SNL parody.
Today I drank: Water.
Work was: Pretty productive.
Today I learned: The universe listens to what you tell it and answers what you ask of it.
I am: In the middle of the bath and bed marathon.
Tomorrow I will: Grow.

Can't Catch Me

Wake up: 5 to get the baby. 6 for real.
Slept for: I really don't know what time I fell asleep last night. I know it was before I finished folding the laundry. I wish there were a laundry folding fairy. I guess they're actually called housekeepers.
First thought is: I have so much time to do all the things I want to do like put in another laundry, edit an article, return emails before I go to the gym. Seriously, this was my thought and it made me happy. I love having time to get a jump on things. Waking up early is a key factor in my overall happiness because it helps me to feel in control. I highly recommend it.
Baby is: On day four (or so) of a real baby schedule which includes sleeping through the night, cat-napping from 6 to 11-ish and then mega-napping from 11 to 3 or so. Eventually, he will convert his...sorry, I had to go, he got up. I'm hoping it's just a slight awake pause in his marathon of sleep. I better not talk about this anymore. I think I am angering the parenting gods.
This is: Nothing. Forget it. I said nothing about a schedule or sleep. Never mind any of it.
Daughter is: Out with her sitter, a gem of a girl who's been in our lives for two years now. We got lucky with her.
This is: Comforting. She's smart, responsible, patient and conscientious and having her spend time with Scarlett doesn't make me feel guilty about not spending the time with her myself.
Man is: I am going to email him to find out. He is downstairs in his office, by the way. He says: Still here.
This is: Going to plague me for hours, days, weeks, as to its meaning, when it probably means nothing. Oh, just got a follow-up email with subject line "Just Kidding" and text that reads: Man is not that grouchy today. Gratuitous wonderment and ill-drawn conclusions averted.
Emails to check: I think there where a decent amount, but it's been six hours since I checked them and millions of thoughts, fears, hopes, dreams have replaced that speck of info.
Goal for the day: Pay very close attention to my words and, hence, my thoughts.
Kabbalah says: "Keep working, moving forward, sharing and caring about the people who cross your path. You'll get your slice in due time. The harder you work for it, the tastier it'll be."
First bananas thought: Harvey Weinstein would be good on this project. He thinks big and takes chances.
Arrive at gym: 8:00 am
Workout is: Good. Not enough time for weights—I just got there 20 minutes too late. I did have time for 36 minutes of cardio on the Precor, levels 5 and 6 of the weight loss program. I cannot stress enough how much better it is to do the preprogrammed workouts. I'll do pushups, dips and free weights at home today. And know that I've typed it out, I have to do it.
Today's song is: Can't Catch Me by Lita Ford
Best lyric is: Don't think I'm easy—I wasn't born blonde
Best spam subject line: Don't be shy
It's the best because: It makes me think of Kajagoogoo. Anything that makes me think of 1983 is the best.
I want: A local all-night (or at least late night) pedicure and manicure place. I think it'd be a hit with the suburban moms—especially if they served drink-drinks.
I love: Do-overs.
I wish: I could see around the corner.
I am totally, majorly obsessing over: Money.
Being a mom means: Stopping what you are doing, getting up from the computer and taking a minute be there for your child.
Being a wife means: Dividing and conquering.
Being a business owner means: Using what you got.
Out of the mouths of babes: Mama, I want you. Oh, forget it. Daddy's coming.
Today I ate: Good—pretty similar to yesterday's menu but I had oatmeal and berries for breakfast.
Today I drank: Coffee, green tea, water.
Work was: Productive. I know something big is brewing.
Today I learned: What you focus on expands.
I am: Going to stay focused on watching what I focus on.
Tomorrow I will:

This is Radio Clash

Wake up: 4:45 am (I think)
Slept for: 6 or so hours
First thought is: Way too tired to think.
Baby is: Probably fine even though he is stirring.
This is: Loud. Stirring is freakin' loud.
Daughter is: Tired a lot lately because we've been putting her to bed to late.
This is: Stopping.
Man is: Grouchy.
This is: Understandable.
Emails to check: 40 something.
Goal for the day: Be proactive. Make a game plan. Enact that game plan.
Kabbalah says: Break an addictive pattern today. Or at least set the intention to do so.
First bananas thought: Oh, today's speeding train of thoughts kicked up so much dust. I'm still coughing.
Arrive at gym: Still haven't gone. I have 45 minutes to build up the mental juice to go.
Workout is: Nothing so far.
Today's song is: This is Radio Clash by The Clash
Best lyric is: Forces have been looting my humanity
Best spam subject line: Hey hottie, wanna talk?
It's the best because: How do they know I'm hot?
I want: To want to go to the gym.
I love: Chocolate ganache and a very many reality TV shows.
I wish: I could better differentiate between reality and fantasy in my mind's eye.
I am totally, majorly obsessing over: Feathered hair.
Being a mom means: Having to examine yourself in one of those close-up mirrors—you know, the ones they have in hotel rooms for some reason—every day.
Being a wife means: Not adding it up.
Being a business owner means: Agility.
Out of the mouths of babes: I didn't mentally record any of Scarlett's gems today. That makes me feel a little sad.
Today I ate: Fruit for breakfast, turkey slices and whole grain, high fiber bread for lunch, half a protein bar (low sugar) for lunch, a turkey meatball for snack and fish and veg for dinner. What an accomplishment! I claim victories wherever and whenever I can. It definitely contributes to my overall happiness.
Today I drank: Water with cucumber slices—so I could pretend I was at a spa.
Work was: All over the place, emotionally, but still productive on the writing and editing-front.
Today I learned: You're in control of your own happiness.
I am: Battling.
Tomorrow I will: Win.

Brass Monkey

Wake up: 5:45 am (I heard the babe stirring). Then I passed back out and woke up at 8:30, feeling groggy and even more tired than before.
Slept for: Over 8 hours.
First thought is: I feel hungover. A quick mind scan of the past 12 hours revealed that it would be impossible for me to be hungover because that would've required drinking alcohol. I concluded that I must have been dehydrated from not drinking enough water yesterday.
Baby is: Big, man. He is super big. We call him Smiles McGee because he's the smiliest baby ever seen.
This is: Interesting. I wonder if he'll be using his smiles for good or up-to-no-good.
Daughter is: Basically a teenager. I asked her if she liked any of the boys at her camp (but I meant liked like like not like-like) and when she told me she did, she lit up. I realized her like was like a like-like.
This is: Agita-inducing. It brought up so many issues of liking boys in 7th grade and them not liking me back. All I could think about was that I hoped that boy liked her, too. What? I am hoping a three year old boy likes my three year old girl? Issues, man. I gots issues.
Man is: I should just let him fill in this blank.
This is: This one, too.
Emails to check: 18.
Goal for the day: Food shopping. Check. Gym. Soon. Work. Check.
Kabbalah says: A good one, so I am going to post the whole thing. And, by the way, you substitute the word "light" or "creator" with words like "your higher self, " "god," "the universe."

Consider the light bulb in your ceiling. You flip a switch, and on it goes. But the light bulb is not the source of the light; the real source is an electric generator somewhere you can't even see. And there are rules around how much light can be emitted as well as when and why. The same is true with the Light of the Creator.

One of the common mistakes we all make is to confuse a person or thing with the Light. For instance, nothing feels as good as falling in love. So naturally we associate our girlfriend or boyfriend with those happy feelings and assume that person is the source of them. But it doesn't work that way. No other person can guarantee us the good feelings of love we are after. It's the way we act in relation to other people that brings the Light.

And that's what today is all about. Remembering that ultimately, your relationship to people and places is about your relationship to the Light of the Creator.
First bananas thought: Was in a dream I had last night about opening a cool juice bar called Juice or Cleanse, where people would go and hang and listen to awesome music and read and do all the stuff that people do in coffee houses.
Arrive at gym: Going in about 20 minutes.
Workout is: 33 minutes of a preprogrammed weight loss workout on the Precor (see "What I learned" below) and upper body (triceps, back, shoulders) supersets, complete with dips and pushups in between the sets.
Today's song is: Brass Monkey by the Beastie Boys
Best lyric is: Like the whole song but if I had to narrow it down:
We're offered Moet - we don't mind Chivas
Wherever we go with bring the Monkey with us
Best spam subject line: Nothing today.
It's the best because: Pass.
I want: Something cute to wear to Anna's baby shower tomorrow.
I love: Butter.
I wish: I were more motivated tonight to finish my work.
I am totally, majorly obsessing over: The mess in my foyer.
Being a mom means: Doing what you say you're going to do.
Being a wife means: This is so interesting to me because I am often so stumped by the question. I mean so stumped that I wonder if I should just change it to "Being a partner means" or "Being in a relationship means."
Being a business owner means: Staying in the ring.
Out of the mouths of babes: "Mom, can I have some of your rolling paper?" She meant wrapping paper.
Today I ate: Salmon sushi roll made with whole grain rice from Whole Foods and vegetables for breakfast. We went shopping early and had breakfast there and the aforementioned were better options over egg and cheese on a roll. Turkey slices and a plum for lunch. Half a protein bar for snack (with no sugar!). Shrimp cocktail, salad and chicken for dinner. Fruit and two cookies for dessert. All that controlled eating was ruined in minute.
Today I drank: Water and a few sips of red wine.
Work was: Good. Still going, though I am fading.
Today I learned: That it's better to do your cardio with one of the preprogrammed workouts. I did the weight loss workout and got my heart rate up to 148 almost immediately. I burned 400 calories in 33 (I think it was 33—it was an odd number) minutes. I usually only burn about 300 to 310 in 30 minutes. Just be sure to raise the resistance level to at least 5. I did the easier parts at 6 and the harder parts at 5. Also, Lori (www.mommy-moves.com) told me that I was not to hold onto the handles anymore when doing my cardio. It makes it much harder, but you're forced to activate (hence, tone) your core and the movement of your arms increases your total body output.
I am: Biting my nails in between answering these questions.
Tomorrow I will: Do better.

History Repeating

Wake up: 5 with the babe, 6 with the alarm.
Slept for: 6 hours.
First thought is: No thoughts at 5. At 6 I thought: I'm just going to go back to bed. But I didn't. I knew I'd regret it an hour later.
Baby is: Repairing the negative feelings and misgivings I had from being a first-time mom.
This is: Amazing. Great. It is so truly amazing-great to see how life works and how, when you trust the process, you are delivered to wholeness.
Daughter is: Watching cartoons. I need to get her on the fast track so we can leave on time for camp.
This is: Always stressful for me, but I really should get a grip. I mean, hello! That is stressful? What is my problem?
Man is: Egging me on with funny—and inappropriate—things to answer this prompt with.
This is: Him.
Emails to check: 30-something again. I keep forgetting to log the number in my sieve—uh, brain, whatever you call it.
Goal for the day: Not stress out over little things. It's almost as if I've mastered not being stressed out over major (may-jah) things, but that dang stress needs to be in the mix, so it riles me up over inconsequential minutia.
Kabbalah says: Why are you alive? What did your soul come here to do? Ask enough times— and with intensity—and you will start seeing signs pointing you in the right direction.
First bananas thought: I can't say that I've had one today. Or, perhaps, they're just all so bonkers that they seem normal.
Arrive at gym: 6:30 am
Workout is: Cardio was a B-. I just lacked focus but I still managed to get my heart rate up and sweat. The good part is that I worked in weights, which is so vital. I bumped into a friend who was working out with a trainer. The trainer said something very interesting about weight loss: 75 percent is nutrition. Boo! And he's so right. I've been pretty good on the eating-front but then I totally spazz out and blow in one fell forkful. Just because you're working out doesn't mean that you can't eat 100 percent cleanly—if you are aiming to achieve a goal. If you're just maintaining, then you can be a little freer.
Today's song is: History Repeating by The Propellerheads
Best lyric is: They say the next big thing is here, that the revolution's near, but to me it seems quite clear that it's all just a little bit of history repeating
Best spam subject line: Your lady will go nuts.
It's the best because: The word "lady" is funny.
I want: The whole red snapper from Indochine.
I love: Manhattan.
I wish: There were a Barneys here. Not that I could buy anything from it right now, but at least I'd have a place to retreat to when the going gets boring.
I am totally, majorly obsessing over: A Spanish-style ranch.
Being a mom means: That point in the day when you go from loving the quiet in the house to missing your kid because she's not there to make noise.
Being a wife means: Thinking—and actually caring—about what someone else other you and your kids want and need.
Being a business owner means: Friday night meetings. They should be liquid meetings but, surely, Amy and I are too tired by that time to even lift the glass up.
Out of the mouths of babes:
Today I ate: Fairly clean. I fought mid-day sweets urges, which definitely helped me not to derail come dinner time.
Today I drank: Water.
Work was: An exercise in sharing.
Today I learned: That when people tell you who they are, you should believe them.
I am: Still in my gym clothes at 6:12 pm.
Tomorrow I will: Be in those clothes until I shower much later tonight.

Turning Japanese

Wake up: I don't quite think I went to sleep—maybe from 11:30-ish to 1:47 when Shawn came in and then Scarlett to follow, complete with kicks and tosses and turns. Marlon got up at 4 for some reason—or was it earlier. I really don't remember much about last night. I do know that I got up 6.
Slept for: Yeah. I just don't know.
First thought is: I'm so tired that I feel nauseous. I kind of like that feeling—there's a comfort in it, as it hearkens back to being young and never sleeping.
Baby is: Having a weird colic thing from 6 or 7 pm until he goes to sleep at 8-ish.
This is: Going to pass shortly, according to my pediatrician. It gives me empathy for moms who have severely colicky kids.
Daughter is: Sitting next to me at her desk, coloring and using her computer.
This is: Loud...and sweet.
Man is: God, this one always stumps me.
This is: I just don't know.
Emails to check: They were responded to with one eye open this morning. I have no idea how many there were—or how I answered them, for that matter. Lovely.
Goal for the day: Get work done.
Kabbalah says: Gold coins. Spiritually speaking, that's exactly what you receive every time you share.
First bananas thought: I am like the white Janet Jackson—minus the millions, the siblings and the dance ability. Seriously, this is a most bananas thought. I didn't even know what it meant when I was thinking it.
Arrive at gym: Worked out with Lori Sawyer (www.mommy-moves.com) at 7 am.
Workout is: Super—and hard. It doesn't matter how motivated you are or how much you (think you) know about working out; working out with a trainer is the best way to go.
Today's song is: Turning Japanese by The Vapors
Best lyric is: I want a doctor to take your picture
So I can look at you from inside as well
Best spam subject line: How the French stay so thin.
I want: A nap.
I love: The house when it's quiet.
I wish: We could take a vacation.
I am totally, majorly obsessing over: The decline of western civilization that is I Love Money. I caught the preview montage of the season at the end of the first episode. It's really, really bad. I mean, it's so bad that I am offended. It's an insult to the intelligence of anyone and everyone. I will, of course, watch it.
Being a mom means: Doing things properly—even when you want to half-ass them.
Being a wife means: Getting rid of the Alice Cooper mascara run-off from underneath your eyes—even though you could care less that it's there.
Being a business owner means: Sacrifice—much like the kind you make for your children.
Out of the mouths of babes: Oh, he's dead now (about one of her little koala bears)
Today I ate: Chicken breast (a portion the size of a deck of cards) and salsa for breakfast, brown rice sushi for lunch, whole wheat pasta (just one cup) and chicken for dinner.
Today I drank: Water.
Work was: Fine. I am having bouts of writer's block, but, over the years, I've learned how to push through them. I really have no choice. It's difficult to stay inspired and fresh when you are writing all the time but it's also a cool exercise to see how far you can challenge yourself. When you think you have nothing left give, you must persevere. You'll be amazed at how much more is really there. It's a good lesson for all aspects of life.
Today I learned: The lower the number on the bottom of the plastic bottles is, the easier the bottles are to recycle. Hence, if you are going to use plastic stuff, stick to bottles/containers that are a 4 or below.
I am: Not tired. Not awake. Not inspired. Not dull.
Tomorrow I will: Write. Edit. Write. Edit. Write. Edit. Write. Edit. Write. Edit. Write. Edit.

Kick Start My Heart

Wake up: 6
Slept for: 6.5 hours
First thought is: I have so much to accomplish today—I am excited to do it. In retrospect, I don't think it was a whole-hearted sentiment, but rather an attempt to psych myself up for a long day of focus.
Baby is: On a great schedule. (How overused is the word "great" lately? Great is the new amazing—which is an interesting sign of the times. I wonder if the economy plays a part in the scale of hyperbole or if the words we use en masses are more random than that.)
This is: Great—though I know that every time you settle into a baby schedule, it changes.
Daughter is: Definitely handling all her big changes (camp for 6 or 7 hours), mastering potty training, sleeping through the night in her own bed, having a new baby in the house. It's so much on her and she really is doing well. It's such a commitment on our part—not that I am surprised by that, but still, lately too few people talk about how much discipline, follow-through, action and intention it takes to be a parent. It's certainly forcing us to be better and stronger people with better integrity of word and intention.
This is: Very cool (not just great). It feels good to be deconstructed (though it certainly did not after I had Scarlett and my whole world shifted) and reconstructed on a daily basis.
Man is: A deconstructer-reconstructer kind of guy. He's always seeking to better himself. It's sometimes annoying, but I know that when it annoys me, it means that I need to step it up.
This is: Annoying.
Emails to check: 30-something.
Goal for the day: Pay attention to what annoys me in other people, as I'm just seeing what annoys me about myself in them.
Kabbalah says: When you drop your great expectations of others, you more fully connect to the light.
First bananas thought: I am going to get a wind turbine for our house—which is really only a bananas thought because we can't be buying anything right now and not because we couldn't eventually have our own mini turbine.
Arrive at gym: Going tonight at 8.
Workout is: Going to be super fly.
Today's song is: Kickstart My Heart by Motley Crue
Best lyric is: Hmmmm... Sorry Nikki but the lyrics aren't so great called out. But they do rule as a whole piece.
Best spam subject line: Say No to Ed
I want: To stop biting my nails.
I love: Beck.
I wish: I had the new Beck album.
I am totally, majorly obsessing over: Effectively eliminating sugar from my diet. It's worse than fat, peeps.
Being a mom means: Being there (and really being present) for most dinner, bath, book, bed routines. And, man, is that ever tough to do some nights.
Being a wife means: Learning how to pick your battles. It's a good thing to learn for life, in general.
Being a business owner means: Seeing the big picture while your in the trenches of minutia.
Out of the mouths of babes: I want Daddy to read because he's kind and nice and he gives me food and he works and he works and he works.
Today I ate: Egg whites and vegetables with salsa (so easy—you can even used the prefabbed egg whites and frozen veggies, as long as they're organic and low sodium), fish and veg for lunch (it was a frozen meal thingy from Whole Foods), chicken and a small serving whole wheat pasta for dinner. Turkey slices and few cheat chips for snack. Oh, one spoonful of marmalade because I took my eye off the prize for a minute. Can't do that, folks. Just can't do it.
Today I drank: Lots of water.
Work was: A bit Groundhog's Day-ish.
Today I learned: When you recycle your bottles, you have to take the tops off or they won't be recycled.
I am: Back from the gym.
Tomorrow I will: Start again.

New Sensation

Wake up: 6 am
Slept for: The usual.
First thought is: I am so tired—it's definitely from three days of no gym and not-clean eating.
Baby is: Animated.
This is: Fun. I am sure Scarlett was the same way, but I kinda don't remember.
Daughter is: Totally sorted out about camp. She's very well-adjusted—thank goodness.
This is: A victory. I feel good and happy on the inside about it.
Man is: Coming back to life.
This is: Good.
Emails to check: 22
Goal for the day: Eat cleanly, make it to the gym even if it's a 9 tonight, work, do laundry, sit up straight, walk taller and breathe.
Kabbalah says: Nothing that The Post says it says.
First bananas thought: This is easy.
Arrive at gym: Not yet, but I am going. Just as soon as the little peeps go to sleep, I am going.
Workout is: Sorely needed.
Today's song is: New Sensation by INXS
Best lyric is: And the sun comes like a god into our room
All perfect light and promises
Best spam subject line: Take a look only if you are worth it.
I want: A boob job.
I love: My high school friends.
I wish: All of my friends would move here.
I am totally, majorly obsessing over: Being bloated.
Being a mom means: Leaving your kids with their grandmother for an hour so you can run out and have a drink with a friend.
Being a wife means: Gosh, this one often stumps me. Ummmm....I am still figuring that one out.
Being a business owner means: Unity.
Out of the mouths of babes: We're two cuties.
Today I ate: Well, until my worst time (5:00) and then I ate cheese and olives that my mom brought over.
Today I drank: Water and 4 ounces of red wine. I mean, come on, what else do you eat with cheese and olives. And by the way, I have no business eating cheese. It has to be the absolute worst thing you can eat.
Work was: Good but I still have a lot to accomplish.
Today I learned: Discipline takes discipline.
I am: Ready.
Tomorrow I will:

Thieves in the Temple

Wake up: 7:09
Slept for: About 7 hours
First thought is: What project should I start first?
Baby is: So easy
This is: Insanely wonderful
Daughter is: Processing things on a deeper level and forming ideas about what's she's processing. I have to be sure that the ideas she digests—which will become the fabric of her being—are the right ones: ones that empower her, ones that free her, ones that inspire her, ones that enable her to be a capable person. Coming from the self-involved/self-obsessed era that is your 20s, it's truly wonderful/frightening/awesome to experience someone who doesn't have issues—yet.
This is: Daunting. I've got to continue to get my act together.
Man is: In a good mood.
This is: Because he's got a softball game.
Emails to check: Just 14.
Goal for the day: Work, workout
Kabbalah says: "There is tremendous energy in our vows. When we make promises and don't keep them, we create little voids of energy in our lives, which is why we are so often uncomfortable and dissastisifed."
First bananas thought: Viral is a formula.
Arrive at gym: Didn't.
Workout is: Not.
Today's song is: Thieves in the Temple by Prince
Best lyric is: I feel like I'm looking for my soul like a poor man looking for gold
Best spam subject line: Update your penis
I want: To figure out when I am going to stop breastfeeding.
I love: Method cleaning products
I wish: People didn't fear the unknown.
I am totally, majorly obsessing over: My iPod
Being a mom means: Looking your kids in the eyes.
Being a wife means: Repriminutes
Being a business owner means: Sheer love of the game.
Out of the mouths of babes: I'm big and I'm bossy.
Today I ate: Too tired to recount.
Today I drank: Water, a sip of Scarlett's Shirley Temple and 4 ounces of red wine
Work was: Very productive and inspiring.
Today I learned: There's always more to give.
I am: Certain.
Tomorrow I will: Remain certain.

Set Adrift on Memory Bliss

Wake up: 7
Slept for: I really don't know
First thought is: I should just go to the gym now.
Baby is: Almost saying a word or two. I swear.
This is: Bizarre—though Shawn's mom contends that he spoke at 5 months.
Daughter was: Quite a song writer. I've started to write them down for her. Is there a market for toddler singers who pen their own tunes?
This is: Creepy or cool?
Man is: Patient.
This is: Teaching me how to be patient myself. It is a virtue.
Emails to check: I forget now, but not that many.
Goal for the day: Not to eat crap food just because I'm bored.
Kabbalah says: " The problem of argument is not who is right or who is wrong — it is that you think that you are right and someone else is wrong! Be open to another point of view today, even when you are 100% right."
First bananas thought: What would happen if I only ate Tasti D Lite?
Arrive at gym: Nope.
Today's song is: Set Adrift on Memory Bliss by PM Dawn
Best lyric is: She's just one of those corners in my mind
Best spam subject line: Tame your unicorn
I want: A new wardrobe.
I love: Flowy Ikat dresses.
I wish: I were Lauren Conrad—just the blown out hair and going out at night parts.
I am totally, majorly obsessing over: LA
Being a mom means: Rising to the challenge.
Being a wife means: Rising to the challenge.
Being a business owner means: Rising to the challenge.
Out of the mouths of babes: I am the princess and you are the dungeon.
Today I ate: Crap.
Today I drank: Water.
Work was: Medium.
Today I learned: A stitch in time saves nine.
I am: Big on cliches.
Tomorrow I will: Figure it out.

Gold Lion

Wake up: 5:54
Slept for: Almost 7 hours
First thought is: Busy day
Baby is: Sleeping—but about to get up
This is: Good. I've got to get him fed and sleeping again in a half an hour.
Daughter is: Excited to go back to camp today.
This is: Great.
Man is: Not sure, actually.
This is: A reminder.
Emails to check: 19
Goal for the day: Eat cleanly, finish two articles that require a fair bit of brain power.
Kabbalah says: "Fears comes from our darker side, the aspect of ourselves that seeks to sabotage our best intentions. But they are not real, which is why we say fear is False Evidence Appearing Real."
First bananas thought: I want to dye my hair red.
Arrive at gym: 6:40
Workout is: Better than yesterday's even though I still only had 30 minutes. I just pushed myself harder today.
Today's song is: Gold Lion by Yeah, Yeah, Yeahs
Best lyric is: Gold lion's gonna tell me where the light is
Best spam subject line: Erase the memories of your failures.
I want: Calm
I love: Tasti D-Lite
I wish: The Tasti D-Lite place was closer.
I am totally, majorly obsessing over: Work.
Being a mom means: Letting your three year old stay up late to watch the fireworks.
Being a wife means: Letting your husband let your three year old stay up late to watch the fireworks.
Being a business owner means: No rest for the weary.
Out of the mouths of babes: Why do they call them fireworks?
Today I ate: Not much.
Today I drank: Water and half a margarita at my neighbor's party.
Work was: Fraught with writer's block.
Today I learned: My tolerance for risk is pretty high.
I am: Better off than I was four years ago.
Tomorrow I will: Put one foot in front of the other.

Let Me Blow Ya Mind

Wake up: 5:24
Slept for: A little over 6 hours
First thought is: I'm glad I got up so early. Now I don't have to hustle to get everything done. Hustling sucks.
Baby is: Acclimating to a more consistent schedule on the eating and sleeping fronts. Hallelujah!
This is: I repeat: Hallelujah!
Daughter is: Vacillating between loving camping and not wanting to go.
This is: Kicking up my co-dependence issues. I so want her to want go (enter Cheap Trick into my mind) and I want her to have good feelings about it and feel empowered and all that crap. Ugh! I feel yucky and nervous and uneasy and stressed out on the inside just thinking about it—I mean what if she's not into it? Is this co-dependence, being a mother or just being a wacko?
Man is: Cute.
This is: Good.
Emails to check: 37
Goal for the day: Do it up, baby!
Kabbalah says: "Today, feel certain in the fact that when you call out for help, you cries are being heard — and appreciated."
First bananas thought: As thought after seeing Jon Bon Jovi on one of the TVs at the gym: Jon Bon Jovi should invest in our company. We could film it and do a whole reality thing called "Making the Business." It would be huge with 30 and 40-somethings. Call us, Jon.
Arrive at gym: 6:35
Workout is: Just medium. I am tired and a bit unfocused. Lori Sawyer, trainer extraordinaire, informed me that you've got to get your heart rate up to the fat burning zone for, basically, the whole time you're working out. My heart rate was at the lower end of the zone for only 20 of the 30 minutes. I was able to burn 303 calories, but real fat loss—and health improvement—comes from getting that rate up.
Today's song is: Let Me Blow Ya Mind
Best lyric is: Yo! Drop your glasses, shake your asses
Face screwed up like you having hot flashes
Best spam subject line: Hot chicks in skimpy beachwear
I want: For nothing
I love: My girlfriends
I wish: There was a baby sitter fairy.
I am totally, majorly obsessing over: Whether or not I should put a period on the end of these fragment—or are they actually sentences?
Being a mom means: Being brave. Scarlett is living for camp now. She went from a baby to a girl since Monday. This afternoon, she was all a twitter with talk of best friends and nonsensical inside jokes and frenetic galloping about the house.
Being a wife means: I'm not quite sure.
Being a business owner means: Keeping it simple
Out of the mouths of babes: Mommy, when I grow up, I want to drink wine just like you.
Today I ate: Good—though not entirely sugar-free.
Today I drank: Agua
Work was: Great. Great interview on Mom's the Word. The hosts were the most—so informed, gracious, quick-witted and fun. They've invited me a la THE FAMILY GROOVE to go back on quarterly to discuss what's hot for moms.
Today I learned: Some very interesting things courtesy of author and renowned financial advisor Spencer Sherman, who will contributing for THE FAMILY GROOVE monthly starting in December. One of the things he told me was that when people go from individuals to couples, their expenses go up, despite their thinking that they're going to save money by sharing bills (electric, cable, rent/mortgage, etc.). Why? Because, invariably, each person has a penchant for something that they think is worth spending money on (like dinners out or a 5-star hotel—something that matters to them). So when the two, as a couple, are living their lives, they wind up choosing the higher end option for both people. Whereas before, you might have opted to spend money on a 5-star hotel but eat cheaply, now you're doing both because your husband is into fine dining. People just don't usually go for the lesser options. Am I making sense? He made a lot of sense.
I am: Daunted by the laundry that still needs folding.
Tomorrow I will: Create my world.