The Children Issue

It's here!
It's here!
It's here.

Check out March's The Children Issue for:
THE BEST TOYS
IT'S A JUNGLE IN THESE COOL KIDDIE SPACES
COOL KIDS' PARTY IDEAS
ONE MOTHER'S TALE OF HER FIRST TIME
VANESSA MATHISON TALKS PEACE OF MIND AND HER NEW CLOTHING LINE
SPRING INTO THESE LOOKS
THE BEST BATH AND BODY PRODUCTS FOR YOUR BROOD
THAT'S A DIAPER BAG?
SAVE THEIR LIVES: GET YOUR KIDS INTO FITNESS NOW
THE LATEST PARENTING TRENDS
EAT MORE VEGETABLES—HERE'S HOW
WHAT'S IN A BABY NAME?
GREAT GREEN KIDDIE GEAR
PRETTY SPRING MATERNITY WEAR
FIVE FAB PIECES
WHAT HAS YOUR CHILD TAUGHT YOU?
DO SOMETHING IMPORTANT: SUPPORT MY STUFF BAGS
There's so much good information and so many truly fantastic articles.

Get reading, folks!

D.A.E.D.—Daughters Against Emailing Drunk

Good daughters shouldn't let their mothers email drunk:

"Okay, so there is snow on the ground and I am home with Auggie! After 2 homemade margaritas, it has occurred to me that it is A LOT of pressure being our age! Ex: don't eat fat, bologna, salami, pastrami,potato chips, salt, sugar, carbs! No flour, no alcohol, no alcohol, no alcohol, no nothing! And of course, no drugs! Nothing but exercise, yoga, clean eating and getting in touch with your inner Oprah! So what's left?

Well, there's the responsibility of your elderly parents who are soon to die or have already; worrying about the fact that the stock market is down......and you are, too; worrying that 1 out of 10 peeps who are upside down on their mortgages. You have to remember not to go out in the sun, wear sunblock with titanium oxide etc., and forget the fact that your waist is expanding, your mind is retreating,and your business is so off! Oh, your hair is thinning, your beard is growing, your feet are twisting, and your sex life is less thrilling than an ice cream sundae (or 3 glasses of wine, 2 Long Island Iced Teas). And I almost forgot that you have to sit back while you watch your adult kids make their mistakes. And then there's the big decision of which antidepressants to take. How the F *&# do you honor your soul and go after your life's purpose with all that swirling about?

My generation, the "Me" generation, has been duped! Where do we go from here?

Kisses, Your old friend, sister, mother, niece, business associate and bon vivant."
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

It is impressive that all that was done from her BlackBerry. She's on it more than I am. Oh, dear Baby Boomers, where did your fight go?

True Colors

I've streamlined my life greatly over the past four or so years. I've had to. Between marriage, moving to the suburbs, divorce, marriage-ish, three start-ups, two mortgages, one child and one on the way and one cold, hard foray into adulthood (of which I went kicking and screaming—on the inside), I realized there's no time to sugar coat, no time to twist the truth for what I perceived as the sake of sparing others (who do I think I am to spare others? why did I think they needed sparing?), no time to be anything but who I am.

For a while, I had to fight my instinct to not tell the truth—be it about myself, my life or some rather insignificant situation. It astounded me that truth telling wasn't always my knee-jerk reaction. My man was the one who would point out that the truth is the way to go. Forget white lies to spare people's feelings or obvious omissions to avoid consequences; just tell the truth. Simple. Easy. He'd remind me that if your life is governed by honorable actions and honest intent, then there's never a reason to feel like your truth is not okay. If someone can't handle your truth, that's their problem. If you act from kindness, consideration, grace and empathy, then you can rest assured knowing that your intentions are pure and it's not your lot in life to make others understand from where you are coming. All you have to do is honor your word—to yourself and others—and you'll never have to slide around the truth or overcompensate with some gratuitous excuse again.

For a good three or so years, I have been living in truth—to myself and to others—for the very most part. I cannot begin to tell you how much more time and energy (actual physical and mental energy) I have regained. Just following through on my word, not being afraid to show who I am and dealing from my own truth have given me wings to soar and a real happiness that I had not previously known.

So, next time you go to fudge an excuse or hold back on expressing yourself or mask your inner thoughts and desires, remember: the truth shall set you free.

From today's Daily Conscious Tune Up:

Most of us aren’t 100% real. We are too afraid to show our true colors, to unfurl the flag of our true thoughts and emotions. We think people would run away screaming if they saw what we really looked like. Or we think they would fire us, drop us, hate us, judge us, tell others, or worse if we spoke from the heart.

Life is too short to waste it being fake.

Today, find the true grit needed to be who you are. Say what’s on your mind. Let your true face speak. The more you accept who you are – and share it with others – the less energy you will need to spend on hiding.

I've Been Locked Inside Your Heart Shaped Box

Ba-humbug!

I was never into Valentine's Day.

If there's any holiday that epitomizes the height of capitalism and modern-day marketing, V Day is it. And despite my reverence for both juggernauts, I detested the manufactured holiday on sheer contrarian principle.

How typical of our Puritanical society to reserve passion and love for one measly day!

How lame of people to fall for it, buying over priced roses, all-too-sweet chocolates in heart shaped boxes and being forced to go out for a "romantic" dinner!

What the hell are these people doing the rest of the year? Do they really need an excuse to give flowers, gorge on chocolate and spend quality time with their mates?

What's wrong with people who aren't romantic all the time? What's wrong with people for whom love and lust and passion and fabulous Godiva open oysters (at lord knows what price per pound) isn't a part of their daily routine?

And then I had a kid.

Oh.

Oooooooooooooooh.

I get it.

Why, if there were a prize for queen of V Day, I'd a been a contender. My daughter, who is just about three, fell for the charade hook, line and sinker. And just who propagated the charade, you ask?

Moi.

From letting her stay up late to watch Charlie Brown's something or other Valentine's Day thingie thing to the two heart-shaped cakes we baked to the ceremonial making of the valentines for her school mates, I helmed the evil empire of Hallmark, marching it right into my house to the complete and total delight of my impressionable toddler.

And then there was all the brouhaha that her school made over the day, in conjunction with the hullabaloo that everyone, from servers to check out girls to bank tellers, incited, the perfect red tea roses my dad sent her and the sweet cards her dad gave her.

There was no escaping the love.

And so, as I sit here, hungover from all the sugar of yesterday's antics, tired from a late "romantic" dinner with my man (note: I cannot remember the last time that we were alone together out of the house) and reflecting on the fun I, on behalf of our Puritanical, brain-washing society, fostered for my wide-eyed little girl, I can't help but feel good about it.

My daughter had a damn good day...and, actually, so did I.

I Want to Be the Girl With the Most Cake

The mom chatter of late has centered around the rising and ridiculous cost of and effort behind kids' birthday parties. First of all, like I said, there's the cost, which is astronomical. Second, there's the guilt over being a good greeny liberal and still giving into the excess that is the kiddie party. And last, there is the fear that these little ones will be as spoiled and, subsequently, f-ed up as we all are.

What to do?

My girlfriend, Nicole, who lives out in LA, just threw her daughter a first birthday party to beat the band. Every detail from the return address labels in just the right font to the personal and funny thank you notes, the Photoshopped party favors (a post-mod compilation of her daughter's fav adult songs done tot-style) to the cake (which should have it's own TV show, it's so stunning) popped—but not in that terrible keeping-up-with-the-Joneses way. Not at all.

From A to Z, the elements of the party had style and flair and self-aware over-the-topness that rendered them hip and fresh sans the creepy. Nicole is a punk rock Martha who wholly understands a good through line and she feted her daughter the only way she knew how: fabulously. Is this so wrong?

What ever happened to the motto, if you're going to do something, do it right?

And anyway, it's really not our faults. Years of reading In Style and Vogue, seeing Colin Cowie specials and watching MTV have honed our aesthetics and raised our expectations. So, it follows that our kids' parties are going to be choreographed better than an Vincent Minelli musical. For Nicole, her daughter's first had nothing to do with filling a void or being a show-off; it was the natural and obvious way she chose to celebrate.

So lay off, all you nay-sayer moms who poo-poo the big parties and the hullabaloo required to pull them off. It's our party—well, it's their party—and we'll do it up if we want to.

Or at least make a slight attempt to join us in our detail-oriented, pop culture-pastiching, everything-has-to-be-juuuuuust-right brigade—so we can feel a little better about the pony rental and the extra cost for the personalized stamps.

Love, Parenthood Style

V Day is almost here.

Check out these cool lovey-dovey things.

From the romance kits to the champagne, the sexy bra and the cake to the pills and book, you've got insta-Valentine's Day.

Is it a totally corny holiday? Yes. Should you do it up big time anyway. Yes.

Sex, Love and Parenthood

Our crazy, sexy, cool February issue is live!

This month:
Win Fabulous Giveaways
Romance Up Your Home
Meet the Love Doctor
One Mom Says Sex After Baby Gets Better and Better
Sexy Scents
Gorgeous Makeup
Hot Jewelry
How to Handle the 10pm Headache—If You Know What We Mean
Teach Your Kids to Love
A Kid-Friendly Divorce—Is It Possible?
Go Green in the Bedroom
Babyproof Your Marriage
Pregnancy Lingerie—Yes, We're Serious
Early Spring Maternity Wear You'll Love
Five Fab Pieces
How Has Your Relationship Changed Now that You're Parents?
Do Something Important: Support Pajama Program

CLICK HERE TO GET IN ON THE LOVE

I'm Starting with the Woman in the Mirror

Check out our Mama Says: Tip of the Week

Think one person can't make a difference? Think again.

If you want to affect change and solve the big problems of the world, start by changing yourself.

Have more patience, go slower, be nicer, share more, love the people who annoy you, treat your competitors with dignity.

Every step you take toward being a better person brings the world closer to a much needed peace.

Click here for more good ones.

What's My Line?

One of our beloved TFG family members is writing a book about motherhood and asked me to contribute a quote on the postpartum period.

It was difficult to reduce the whole dizzying, life-changing, pushing-you-to-the-limits-of-your-sanity time down to one concise, cogent thought, but here's what I said:

"As the madness of modern day motherhood scrambles what's left of your sleep-deprived sanity, you actually find yourself living life how it was meant to be lived: in a state of being truly, truly grateful for the little things—like peeing alone in the bathroom, door closed."

What say you on the subject? Email me at jillian@thefamilygroove.com.

You Better Think

From today's Daily Conscious Tune-Up:

If you want to know what your life looks like, look at your thoughts. If you don't like what you see, then change the way you think about life.

Most of us are stuck in thoughts of fear, disappointment, anger, and regret. We recycle the same stinkin' thinkin' again and again and again. It feels so suffocating after a while, doesn't it?

Today, air your mind out. Open the window and let the breeze come through. Stick your head out. See those people over there? They are potential new friends. Go talk to them. See that Help Wanted sign? That’s your new career. Walk in and submit an application.

Allow new, happy, optimistic thoughts to take over for a change.

What's on your mind?

Play, Thing!

Since I got an iPod from Christmas (yes, I was the last person on the planet to have one), I've been going to the gym six times a week—and actually pushing myself while there. Imagine that!

What's the reason for the push? A lot of things, I suppose—an ever begetting drive to be in shape, feel good, look good, be happy, not gain a ton of weight while preggo (and still eat a ton of cookies), a little me time, etc.—but none more immediate and yearning than the desire to listen to music.

So, here's what's moving me right now (on shuffle, of course). Are they my all my all-time fav songs ever? No. But will they keep you on that dang elliptical machine at 8 for 45 minutes? Yes.

Alphabet St., Prince
Got to Give It Up, Marvin Gaye
Gold Lion, Yeah Yeah Yeahs
Dare, Gorillaz
Hung Up, Madonna
Everybody, Madonna
Big Pimpin', Jay-Z
Workin' Day and Night, Michael Jackson
Closer, Nine Inch Nails
Head Like a Hole, Nine Inch Nails
Cherub Rock, Smashing Pumpkins
Fire Woman, The Cult
Put Your Hands Where My Eyes Could See, Busta Rhymes
Why Can't This Be Love, Van Halen
Ain't Talking Bout Love, Van Halen
Violet, Hole
Miss World, Hole
Rock Star, Hole
Set Adrift On Memory Bliss, P.M. Dawn
Dragula, Rob Zombie
The Dope Show, Marilyn Manson
Don't Tell Me, Madonna
Show Me How To live, Audioslave
Cochise, Audioslave
A Little Respect, Erasure
Thieves In the Temple, Prince
Harlem Shuffle, The Rolling Stones
Shattered, The Rolling Stones
Monkey Man, The Rolling Stones
Rock and Roll, Led Zeppelin
Fortunate Son, Creedence Clearwater Revival
Jungle Love, The Time
The Glamorous Life, Sheila E
A Love Bizarre, Sheila E
Sugar Walls, Sheena Easton
Juicy, The Notorious B.I.G.
Big Poppa, The Notorious B.I.G.
California Love, 2pac

Hate 'em or love 'em—I guarantee they will keep you moving.

Got more on the go-go songs? Post them here or email them to me at jillian@thefamilygroove.com.

Mad Cow

Well, today is the day that I finally feel pregnant. As visions of Nicole Richie dance in my head, I just realized (because I am so damn good at delusion) that this ain't no celebrity pregnancy.

I had more or less managed to stave off the feeling thus far, thanks to a combo of working out, drinking tons of water and having a good attitude; but last night's fajitas were the tipping point. The weight gain is still pretty small (and, no, I am not some total freakazoid pregnant woman who obsesses over her weight—well, you know, not a total freakazoid), but the bloat is on (as said to a Glen Frye beat).

The real purpose of this post is not to complain, but to exclaim the complete and total panacea that is working out. My fellow preggo dudettes, get your asses to the gym; skip the lunches out and Starbucks and invest in a trainer; and/or just move something. Working out daily (daily-ish) on my own and working out weekly with the uber-fabulous Lori Sawyer (www.mommy-moves.com) has kept me on a mental, physical, emotional and spiritual high, the likes of which I can not accurately express in words.

Despite the necessary weight gain and the unnecessary bloat (evil fajitas!), I am stronger and in better shape than I have been in years—since I left Manhattan, actually. And motivation begets motivation, so making a goal to work out and then doing it really, truly impacts all areas of your life.

Well, off to pound down some water in an effort to rid myself of last night's salt fiesta. Puff Mommy is not a becoming moniker.

Other good names for this post: Boss Hog and Heifer National.

Sunny and Share

It's going to be a brisk, but not cold, sunny day today.
The sun is just entering my office. I feel like I've lived a lifetime since I awoke. Oh, the gambit
of emotion, thought, love, hate, fear, panic, happiness, sadness, calm and chaos that has echoed through my mind's eye in such a brief time. Despite the roller coaster, I still did everything I endeavored to do:

Return emails 5:30 am
Workout 6am
Return emails 6:45am
Get kiddo up. Remember what living is about: sharing—in this case myself and my full consciousness with my daughter. 7:15am
Sit down in office chair to actively stress over day. Forget what living is about. 7:25am
Get Daily Conscious Tune-up. Remember again. 7:30am
Remember what living is about. So here's today's Tune-up, from them to me to you.7:37am
See below:

One of my favorite definitions of fear is:

False
Evidence
Appearing
Real

Fear is one big bluff; it’s an imaginary brick wall we are meant to run through — head first. Think about it. Haven’t some of your biggest achievements come as a result of pushing through your terror and anxiety?

Today, jump into the scary moments and know you’ll be able to deal. This is where the real potential for growth is concealed.

Now go forth and share something—a smile, a kind word, an ear to listen, a quarter for the meter, a truth, anything—with the people in your world.

$10 and a Dream

A lovely woman sent me an impassioned email last night about www.asmallvictory.org, a charity that helps families deal with stillbirths, miscarriages and neonatal deaths, of which there are a reported one million annually, via information, support and Loss Kits that are intended to ease parents' bereavement.

Thusly moved by her personal account of loss and how A Small Victory helped her, I checked out the site.

Here's what I found:

A Small Victory is taking part in the Case Foundation and Parade Magazine: America’s Giving Challenge. If A Small Victory can get at least 200 individuals to each donate $10 or more by January 31st, we would have a chance to win this challenge. If we won this challenge, we would have the ability to help over 500 families that experience the tragedy of losing a baby. The entire Challenge is designed to take place online, involving the use of such everyday activities as e-mailing, blogging, and social networking. Anyone can donate using a valid credit card through Network for Good. The challenge ends January 31 at 3pm EST so we have to get going!
The objective here is to have as many people as you can donate to your cause. Duplicate donations from the same individual will only be counted once. This has nothing to do with how much money we raise but has everything to do with the number of supporters we have.
Don’t put it off! Give now! Visit asmallictory.org/give and donate and then send this link to friends, family, and colleagues. If you’re a member of a social networking site, like MySpace, post the link on your Profile page. From there, it’s easy to share it with the friends in your different online networks. Got a blog? Post the link there, too!
I am not kidding about this. This could help hundreds of families all over. We are now sending our Kits all over the US and even to Canada. Go now and donate - then pass it on!

If you've got $10 to spare, why not send it Small Victory's way?

Small victories lead to big ones.

Mean Girls

We just launched a new monthly column called "Postcards from the Edge—of Parenthood." (I hope Princess Leia doesn't get all cease and desist on us.) Written by TFG's own super cool mom-entator Sasha Brown-Worsham, the columns—I've read the first three so far—are really well-done.

January's is about mean moms. Are you one? Are you one by mistake? Click here to find out.

My Baby's Got a Secret

Our January issue is a-live and kicking!

Click here to peep The Secret: Managing the Madness of Modern Day Motherhood.

It's such a good issue—if I do say so myself.

Look for:
Must-Read Mommy Books
How to turn Your Home in to a Zen Palace
Postcards from the Edge—of Parenthood
A Single Mom's Tale of Success, True Love and Cosmos
Relax! Just Say Spaaaaaaah
Easy Beauty
What Not To Wear
Working Mommy Guilt No More
How to Fit into Your Skinny Jeans Again
It's Easy Being Green
What You Really Need to Know About Being a Parent
Ten Things That Will Make Your Life Easier
Liz Lange Wants You to Indulge
Five Fabulous Pieces
These Moms Want You to Know...
What is Rett's Syndrome?

And more, more more!

Digging in the Dirt

Oh lordy.....
Forgive me Blogger, for I have sinned: it's been three and a half months since my last post.
So much writing for THEFAMILYGROOVE.com and so little time for introspection—not a good thing, I suppose.

But, anyway, I am back and eight pounds heavier—or so I can revel in until next Tuesday's OB appointment when I find out what damage the holidays have wreaked. Just three and a half months to go before Baby Brother, as Scarlett would prefer him to be called, arrives.

The last six and a half have gone by in a flash, but this time in a good, conscious, awake way verses the first pregnancy during which I completely ignored my growing belly—and the person inside of it. It feels good to feel connected and to allow myself to live in my own skin. I guess it's a function of being in my thirties, all the life lessons that Scarlett has taught me, allowing myself to trust in my relationship with my man, growing up because at some point you just have to, my spiritual endeavors and my recommitment to health and fitness that have guided, empowered and inspired me to be here now. Or perhaps it's the endorphins from my 6:15am workout coupled with the medium coffee I just guzzled. Whatever the reasons, I'll take this current presence of mind.

And just when you feel at peace, just when you think you've got a nice slice of pie, just when you think you've got it sorted, the Universes comes a-calling. Today's Daily Conscious Tune Up from Kabbalah says:
It’s easy to be spiritual when we are lacking. But it’s not so easy to maintain the flame once we’ve been satiated.

I have people coming to me all the time who are desperate to fix their difficulties. But they don’t have the same intensity of desire once they get what they want. As soon as the relationship is better, the money is back in the bank, or the health is restored, they’re not as willing to do whatever it takes to connect. I am guilty of this as well.

Drawing energy and maintaining an awareness of the Light is more important after we get what we want because it’s without agenda. It’s a higher level of spiritual connection.

Recall a major prayer that was answered. Do you remember the intense desire you had prior to getting what you wanted? Allow it to resurface today and by doing so, you will receive even more fulfillment in that area.

It annoyed me and my first thought was to ignore it, so I know it's a truth. Yup, it's time to dig again; time to drudge; time to shed light.

Here's to a very dirty 2008! May you never stop digging.

Here I Go Again

Gasp! For shame!

I have not blogged in one whole month.

When people ask why I've fallen off the blog-an, my first thought is: I dunno—I guess I have nothing to say lately. But, upon deeper thought—yes, this does require deeper thought—the answer is a host of things from www.thefamilygroove.com being hella busy as we prepare for the success of the first and second quarters of 2008 and work to take the editorial to new levels to the inevitable and often scary sitter transition from summer to fall schedules to an overarching sense of queasiness.

Yup.

Uh huh.

I, like every woman I know or so it seems, am pregnant. 9-ish weeks. Just as my life has calmed down, sorted out and freed up, here I go again. Am I bananas to think it will be different this time? Am I totally coo-coo to think that I can handle it better than I did the first time around?

All of my friends with two youngins say it's totally hard and it completely challenges every fiber of your being—ya mean like it did the first time?

The great news is that my life is completely different this time around and I am in a much better, happier and more empowered state. And, thankfully, I have THE FAMILY GROOVE to help me find, well, my groove during the pregnancy and beyond.

So between THE FAMILY GROOVE, my spiritual work and a renewed sense of self-discipline, I do feel wholly empowered to rock my way through this new phase of my life, including the actual birth, which mega sucked it the first time around.

And speaking of self-control, since I weigh exactly 20 pounds more than I did when I got pregnant with Scarlett, my doctor told me to gain 10 to 15 maximum, so the total would still be in the top of the good range (35 pounds). I am not too worried. I only gained 27 pounds the first time around and I was not working out and eating healthfully then. Although, I must say that all I want to eat are bagels and pasta. Evil carbs!

I'll be back with updates on my exercise routine (I am starting to work out with super trainer Lori Sawyer www.mommy-moves.com next week), crazy hormone-related thoughts, baby gear obsessions and more bumpy accounts from life on the front lines of motherhood.

Bullet proof vest sold separately.

Barbie is an Evil Doer: The Boycott Begins

Oh, I've been such a bad blogger. Between work and VHI reality shows, my time and brain have been sucked out.

But, I am back to give yet another link for a Mattel recall: http://www.service.mattel.com/us/recall.asp

I am pissed.

As parents, we have enough to worry about without fearing Barbie, Dora and Polly Pocket.

I say we boycott.

Well, I am boycotting—do you hear that Mattel?

And I am rallying my moms-in-arms to do the same.

No more Mattel or any of it's other companies until they stop making toys in China and/or prove to every last sleep deprived, caffeine-fueled, over-taxed parent that they've stopped cutting corners.

So, take that Barbie—I always knew you were a bitch.

Total Recall

Gross...and other unladylike words!

Mattel/Fisher Price found LEAD in a bunch of their toys.

Check out this link: http://service.mattel.com/us/recall/default.asp?recall_id=52430

Supposedly if you bought any of the items recalled before May 1, 2007, you are safe.

I have to check it out again though.

Not cool.