Wake up: 6:19 am
Slept for: 7 hours
First thought is: Workout today. You have to workout today.
Baby is: Big, man. He is big. 16 pounds at 4 months and one week.
This is: I used to judge all babies by Scarlett—who was barely 20 pounds at a year. I didn't mean to judge, but I was doing it nonetheless. As ridiculous as it sounds, I used to think that something was wrong with babies who were so big. I'd think such waste-of-time thoughts as why are their parents feeding them so much. This and other gratuitous and completely stupid thoughts have plagued me (as they do for many people, whether or not they realize it), but I am committed to getting a handle on them. Think about how much more energy you'd have if stupid, petty, insidious thoughts didn't mar up your otherwise positive thinking. Think about how much happier you'd be if you could always just be in the positive with things and learn to effectively and easily push away and eventually vanquish all other ways of thinking. Think about that today, seriously.
Daughter is: At school. She loves it. She lives for it. Frampton comes alive.
This is: A relief—though I am adjusting to having to be out of the house at 8:10 on the dot. She's three, so we have 15 more years of the morning dash.
Man is: Trapper John. We've got a squirrel in the attic—which I guess is better than having bats in our belfry.
This is: Potentially fleeting. We'll see if the big guns are called in.
Goal for the day: Workout–done. Eat cleanly—doing-ish.
Kabbalah says: "We can always find lots of reasons to be frustrated with people. But we want to remember that everyone has their limitations, and tikun. Sometimes the best thing we can do is to be compassionate.
Today, choose one person you're really judging and find a way to share with them. Don't think about it too much. Just see if you can put the anger or whatever it is aside and do something nice."
First bananas thought: Not a bananas kind of day...yet.
Arrive at gym: Did 21-minute workout at 7:30. It's great, but things would be moving at warp speed if I could get to the gym and do 30 or so minutes of cardio.
Workout is: Not terribly intense today. I didn't go into it with focus.
Today's song is: Jolene by Dolly Parton
Best lyric is: Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene
I want: To go vegetarian again. Maybe. Well, I mean, I am thinking about it. I haven't been one for a good 10 years now.
I love: Fresh juices. I had a carrot, apple, ginger, parsley one today. Dreamy.
I wish: I had my own juicer—and someone to clean it.
I am totally, majorly obsessing over: Our new About TFG. I think it finally says what it should say, as a first-stop introduction to the magazine. Check it out:
Being a mom means: Paying attention—and it's so challenging. Have you tried to pay attention, to really pay attention without your mind wandering to your ever-rolling to-do list or your hands wandering to straighten something up or your eyes wandering to the television or the dust bunny about to hop through your kitchen. Phew! It ain't easy.
Being a wife means: Having someone to spell with.
Being a business owner means: Figuring out what your company can do the best.
Out of the mouths of babes: "Two kids in class were crying. They totally had meltdowns."
Today I ate: Small bagel with soy butter for breakfast (bad choice), a juice for snack, a tempeh, tomato and lettuce sandwich for lunch. Salad with grilled shrimp, a few oysters and some bread for dinner.
Today I drank: Coffee (bad choice) with milk (even worse choice) and water. Glass and a half of red wine. I should have stopped at one glass.
Work was: Hectic.
Today I learned: That's there's a difference between self-esteem and self-confidence.
I am: Going to have to figure that one out.
Tomorrow I will: Work like the dickens. I have so much work to do that sometimes I can't wrap my head around it. There's a fine line between motivating and frustrating.
Monday, September 08, 2008
Wake up: 6:19 am
Wednesday, September 03, 2008
Wake up: 6:02 am
Slept for: Maybe 6 1/2 hours.
First thought is: I am doing it. I have to get exercising again. I haven't done anything in over a week. Work has been so busy. Good lord, that's the worst excuse! I've been getting up at 5:30 or 6 every day, but I've been diving into work. It does feel good to get so much accomplished before 8. It does help you get ahead, but, ultimately, it doesn't sustain you. You can't find the time to workout; you have to make the time. So,what's stopping me? I have these awesome tapes from Barry's Bootcamp (buy these DVDs, people!) that give you results-packed 21-minute workouts. Come on! I didn't have 21 minutes a day last week? It's sabotage. I totally sabotaged myself last week. The week prior I worked out six days in a row—and I definitely, definitely saw results. Last week was so busy and, as a result, so stressful and emotionally draining that I thought I didn't have one ounce of mojo to spare. In reality, if I had been working out—if I had just done it one time—I would have created gallons of mojo. It's the same lesson that I've learned time and time again. Maybe I finally get it now.
Baby is: A mover. He's so alive and so physical. I don't remember if Scarlett was this physical or if I am falling prey to the cliche that boys move more.
This is: Well, whether it's him or boys or whatever, it's a sign of things to come. I best get ready for his mobility.
Daughter is: Starting school tomorrow.
This is: Huge. It's huge...for me. I live for her school. I want to go myself.
Man is: IF on a good day and VVS1 on a grouchy one. I bet he'd say FL.
This is: Sparkly.
Goal for the day: Workout–done. Eat well—will do. Work—doing. Look into my kids eyes with life—doing.
Kabbalah says: Get rid of the people in your life for whom your fire does not burn brightly. It's a risk, but the benefit is "that it frees your energy to devote to building other fires that do serve you."
First bananas thought: I want to interview Sarah Palin. I bet I could get her, if I tried.
Arrive at gym: And by gym, I mean den: 7:30 am.
Workout is: SI2
Today's song is: I Dug Up a Diamond by Mark Knopfler and Emmy Lou Harris
Best lyric is:
My gem is special
Beyond all worth
As strong as any metal
Or stone in the earth
Sharp as any razor
Or blade you can buy
Bright as any laser
Or any star in the sky
I want: A library.
I love: Amy's chocolate chip cookies.
I wish: I had a cookie jar. I've wanted one for years but just can't seem to commit.
I am totally, majorly obsessing over: The lore of childhood. Am I fostering it?
Being a mom means: Walking your child back to bed for almost an hour.
Being a wife means: Having someone else to help you walk your child back into bed, back into bed, back into bed, back into bed.
Being a business owner means: Talking to everyone about what you're doing.
Today I ate: High fiber cereal and almond milk, turkey on whole grain bread, chicken, brown rice and veg—oh, and one and a half of Amy's homemade chocolate chip cookies.
Today I drank: Some water, but not nearly enough.
Work was: Rolling.
Today I learned: You have to push through. Just because you don't feel like doing something doesn't mean that you have an excuse not to do it.
I am: Listening to Shawn deal with Scarlett. It was his turn. She's still up. She's relentless.
Tomorrow I will: Run faster.
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Wake up: 5:45 am
Slept for: Almost 6 hours
First thought is: Maybe he'll go back to sleep—but then the chatter turned into crying and I knew it was all over for me.
Baby is: Almost ready for his Exersaucer, aka the one thing that enabled me to work when I didn't have a sitter for Scarlett. God bless the Exersaucer.
This is: In the basement along with a warehouse of things that need to be given away or just chucked. Chucking things rules.
Daughter is: Starting school in two weeks from Tuesday. I think. I should double check that.
This is: Built up. We've received mail correspondences from her school weekly—which is lovely and formal and important, but not all I can think about is how not eco-friendly they're being.
Man is: Playing softball today. Just one more Sunday to go.
This is: Well, I used to be so excited when his season was over, but now I realize it's the only thing he has outside of this home and work, which is also in this home. So, I guess it's actually not so great. Basketball doesn't start until November.
Goal for the day: Same as they ever were: workout, eat cleanly, think cleanly, work.
Kabbalah says: This is from yesterday's daily email: "There is a joke about these two shoe salesmen who travel to a third world country in search of new business opportunities.
One man calls his wife the moment he lands, telling her, 'Honey, I'm coming back home. There's no hope here. Nobody here is wearing shoes, so there's no one to sell to.' He boards the next flight home.
The second man calls his wife and says, 'Honey, you wouldn't believe what I found here. There is so much opportunity. No one here is wearing shoes. I can sell to the whole country!'
There's opportunity everywhere. When we have a consciousness of expecting the magic to happen, it will happen. We'll find the right people, we'll move in the right circles, we'll 'bump' into the right solutions. It all starts with that opening in the mind."
First bananas thought: I can bang out this article in an hour. Come on, do I really think that? Am I doing some subversive mind over matter Jedi mind tricks on myself?
Arrive at gym:
Today's song is: Pop Song 89 by REM
Best lyric is: Hello, I'm sorry I lost myself
I think I thought you were someone else
When I hear this song: It reminds me of freshman year of college (which wasn't in 89—it was in 93, thank you very much).
Flash thought: Loretta Zahnstucker's (I should look up that spelling) art studio. I can see it so clearly. I can feel it. I took art classes after school when I was 7 or 8. I loved it, even though I'd always say that I didn't want to go. We did water colors and oil paintings. Art is so therapeutic. Do you have weird flashes of non-sequitur thoughts, too? What are they? Why are they?
I want: A razor-back vest. I'm into it—but you really have to be hipster skinny to pull it off.
I love: Opening the back door that leads to the deck and hearing the sounds of the morning, especially now that the jabber man has fallen back to sleep and the other people who live here are still silent. Ahhhh, heaven. I forget to open doors and windows, sometimes. I forget how calming and wonderful it is to let the outside in.
I wish: Someone would write the article that I continue to put off.
I am totally, majorly obsessing over: Getting copies of Real Simple (its family edition), which goes on sale tomorrow. We're featured in it.
Being a mom means: Giving more.
Being a wife means: Giving more
Being a business owner means: Giving more.
Out of the mouths of babes: "I love you"—as said by Scarlett to her little friend John during their playdate yesterday.
Today I ate: Decently, save a mess of crackers before dinner.
Today I drank: Not nearly enough water...again.
Work was: Great. The issue of Real Simple featuring THE FAMILY GROOVE is out now. We're in an article called "Best Parenting Sites" and dubbed "Best Daily Destination."
Today I learned: It's always darkest before dawn.
I am: Working—but at least I have the TV on. It makes me feel a little better about working on Sunday night.
Tomorrow I will: Move forward.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Wake up: 6:50 am
Slept for: Not sure what time I fell asleep.
First thought is: Must get up, work for an hour and must, must, must go to the gym.
Baby is: Rolling over, holding things, reaching for things, making cause and effect connections.
This is: Exciting. I am loving watching him come alive—and being present to it.
Daughter is: Watching her shows.
This is: Good, bad. I dunno. Kids love shows, right?
Man is: On edge.
This is: Ending soon, I hope.
Goal for the day: Get back on track. I didn't go to the gym for days and not having that anchor lampooned me into the stratosphere of wanton eating and thinking.
Kabbalah says: "Today, focus on what you really want from all of the things you're filling your life with right now. If you don't know why you busy ourselves with your spiritual work, your friends, or your careers, you can never expect to see the results you wanted when you first started out."
Arrive at gym: 8 am
Workout is: Not so great. I was not into it. I am tired and unmotivated—but I went it and I went through the motions. I know how I operate. Tomorrow I'll be more into it and then by the weekend, I'll be back with gusto.
Today's song is: Freedom by George Michael
Best lyric is: Heaven knows I was just a young boy
Didn't know what I wanted to be
I want: Someone to make me an egg white omelet. I guess that's called a restaurant. Getting out of the house with two kids would mean an egg white omelet for lunch at this point.
I love: John Galliano.
I wish: We were friends.
I am totally, majorly obsessing over:
Being a mom means:
Being a wife means:
Being a business owner means:
Out of the mouths of babes:
Today I ate: Egg whites, 1/2 avocado and salsa for breakfast, mango for snack, chicken soup for lunch + will eat salad and sushi for dinner. Oh, and a protein bar and a few chips. Why? Why did I do the chips?
Today I drank: Some water. Not enough.
Work was: I've been working on the same article since 10. It just won't flow—that and I've had to do other work in the interim.
Today I learned: Just when you think you know something, you realize that you're just scratching the surface of it.
I am: Full. The late afternoon need for feeding frenzy hasn't set in. I think the protein bar helped. It was a much better day today with regard to everything: outlook, mood, energy level, self-control, drive. I attribute it directly to working out. People, you have to get moving!
Tomorrow I will: Welcome the next lesson.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Wake up: 6:24 am
Slept for: Just over 6 hours.
First thought is: A rundown of my dreams, all of which were quite bizarre. In one, I was in a car with Scarlett and my dad and she was insisting on showing us some trick she did with the baby's car seat (no baby in it). She took it out of the car, which was now pulled over in on-coming traffic, and proceeded to play in the traffic—like that old awful thing that mean parents used to say: "Go play in traffic!".
Baby is: Talking to the hanging bears on his Pack-n-Play.
This is: Cute, sweet—and a little guilt-inducing. I should play with him.
Daughter is: Starting school full-time in two weeks.
This is: As a first time mom, you never really think it's going to happen.
Man is: Pass.
This is: Pass.
Goal for the day: To write. I have a ton of writing to do.
Kabbalah says: "We all reach points in our days when we don't understand. It can be a relationship challenge, a health issue, which direction to do with our career, a difficult passage of study, a momentous business decision. We all get those 'not-knowing' moments.
The way to see with clarity is, according to Rav Ashlag, to stretch. Not physically [though a forward bend always does wonders.] But to really do something that is outside your zone of comfort, out of the norm. When we elevate above the normal course of things, the Light responds in kind.
Suddenly we understand what we are reading, suddenly we know which doctor to go to, suddenly we see what limiting belief has been sabotaging our relationships. These moments of epiphany do not come from our brains, they come from the Light.
Go above your nature today. Really stretch your tolerance or patience or compassion or belief in yourself. Do something that will build the vessel for whatever it is that's beyond you to come in."
Arrive at gym: Nope.
Workout is: Nope.
Today's song is: Karma Police by Radiohead
Best lyric is: Karma police, arrest this man he talks in maths
He buzzes like a fridge
He's like a detuned radio
Best spam subject line: Really, there's been so little lately that I think I should get rid of this prompt.
I want: A cup of coffee from Balthazar.
I love: The mornings.
I wish: I felt like writing.
I am totally, majorly obsessing over: What if...
Being a mom means: Not letting the kids' simul-cry break you.
Being a wife means: Learning how to delay responses.
Being a business owner means: Making quiche from the eggs in your basket.
Out of the mouths of babes: "I need you, Mommy." That one kills.
Today I ate: Much better than yesterday, but still not perfectly.
Today I drank: Water, a cup of coffee and a protein shake with unsweetened almond milk.
Work was: Quiet. Very little frenzy. I am getting through everything I had on my list.
Today I learned: That success can take many shapes.
I am: Tired today. Not sure why. I haven't worked out in four days—that could be the answer.
Tomorrow I will: Work harder at learning the lessons.
Monday, August 11, 2008
Wake up: 5:50 am
Slept for: Almost 6 hours
First thought is: No going back to sleep after you feed the baby. You have work to do.
Baby is: Just getting up this minute. Can I type fast enough to out pace his chatter before it becomes cries?
This is: Not happening.
Daughter is: Doing so much better, attitude-wise. She's starting to understand things, her emotions, cause and effect much more deeply.
This is: A relief...until the next hurdle.
Man is: Working.
This is: Same as it ever was.
Goal for the day: Not be burnt out.
Kabbalah says: "Love thy neighbor as thyself"
Arrive at gym: Ugh. Not yet. Probably can't go later. Today is one mother of a work day and night.
Workout is: How many calories do you burn while typing?
Today's song is: Cherry Bomb by Joan Jett
Best lyric is: I'm the fox you've been waiting for
It's the best because: Fox is a fab word.
I want: A drink.
I love: The women I am blessed to connect with on a daily basis.
I wish: Anthony Robbins or Forum classes were mandatory.
I am totally, majorly obsessing over: Pamela Anderson. Love her.
Being a mom means: Laundry.
Being a wife means: Having separate offices. Smart.
Being a business owner means: Ups and downs—really, all-in-all, they're better than middles.
Out of the mouths of babes: I should carry a journal for this one. Scarlett drops so many hysterical one-liners but, lately, I can't seem to retain any of them.
Today I ate: I don't completely remember. I didn't preplan my menu like I usually do, so I was popping bites of this and nibbles (hate that word, actually) of that into my mouth all day long.
Today I drank: Practically nothing—maybe one glass of water. So bad!
Work was: Interesting. On the high, we are in Real Simple Family, which is on newsstands on August 18. It's their annual Family special issue.
Today I learned: The more you learn, the harder the lessons get.
I am: Possibly going to have that drink but I will definitely follow it up with some water.
Tomorrow I will: Get back on track. Do I say that everyday or what?
Friday, August 08, 2008
Wake up: 6 am
Slept for: Hmmm... I had a martini last night and passed out as soon as I got into bed. I fooled myself into thinking that I'd just sit down for a few minutes before I got up to clean up the downstairs and do some work. That never works.
First thought is: I feel a bit rough today. I hate that feeling.
Baby is: Not sleeping a wink today so far.
This is: Patience-trying.
Daughter is: Totally potty trained for a couple of weeks now. I just decided she had to do it and she went for it. Kids take cues from their parents. I think she knew that I was ready.
This is: A sigh of relief.
Man is: Fixing my mom's computer.
This is: Nice of him.
Goal for the day: Feel better from last night's drink.
Kabbalah says: Whenever we feel depressed, unfulfilled or anxious, it's because we have lost touch with god.
First bananas thought: Daily Candy just sold to Comcast for 125 million. This thought has been on the top of my queue since Amy told me yesterday.
Arrive at gym: Didn't go. Had to clean this morning.
Workout is: Not going to happen today but if I go tomorrow and Sunday, then I'll still get in 5 days.
Today's song is: Pretty in Pink by Psychedelic Furs
Best lyric is: She lives in the place in the side our lives where nothing is ever put straight
I want: The simplicity of years gone by.
I love: Romanticized hindsight.
I wish: Late nights weren't punished by early mornings.
I am totally, majorly obsessing over: The Magic Eraser. It's no joke: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Melamine_foam
Being a mom means: Getting your kids paper towels, even when they're 30.
Being a wife means: Knowing when to support your man.
Being a business owner means: Never, ever taking your eye off of the prize.
Today I ate: Overall pretty good. I even went out to dinner and didn't completely blow it. I think after a while of being disciplined, it kind of becomes habit.
Today I drank: Water, iced white tea and two martinis—but I spilled the first one after drinking one-third.
Work was: Very productive—which gives me hope for a productive weekend.
Today I learned: It's easy to revert to old habits. You constantly have to be aware of your thoughts. I have to practice not reacting.
I am: Going to start to think more big picture.
Tomorrow I will: Do more. I am starting to plateau a bit on the mental-front.