I Dug Up a Diamond

Wake up: 6:02 am
Slept for: Maybe 6 1/2 hours.
First thought is: I am doing it. I have to get exercising again. I haven't done anything in over a week. Work has been so busy. Good lord, that's the worst excuse! I've been getting up at 5:30 or 6 every day, but I've been diving into work. It does feel good to get so much accomplished before 8. It does help you get ahead, but, ultimately, it doesn't sustain you. You can't find the time to workout; you have to make the time. So,what's stopping me? I have these awesome tapes from Barry's Bootcamp (buy these DVDs, people!) that give you results-packed 21-minute workouts. Come on! I didn't have 21 minutes a day last week? It's sabotage. I totally sabotaged myself last week. The week prior I worked out six days in a row—and I definitely, definitely saw results. Last week was so busy and, as a result, so stressful and emotionally draining that I thought I didn't have one ounce of mojo to spare. In reality, if I had been working out—if I had just done it one time—I would have created gallons of mojo. It's the same lesson that I've learned time and time again. Maybe I finally get it now.
Baby is: A mover. He's so alive and so physical. I don't remember if Scarlett was this physical or if I am falling prey to the cliche that boys move more.
This is: Well, whether it's him or boys or whatever, it's a sign of things to come. I best get ready for his mobility.
Daughter is: Starting school tomorrow.
This is: Huge. It's huge...for me. I live for her school. I want to go myself.
Man is: IF on a good day and VVS1 on a grouchy one. I bet he'd say FL.
This is: Sparkly.
Goal for the day: Workout–done. Eat well—will do. Work—doing. Look into my kids eyes with life—doing.
Kabbalah says: Get rid of the people in your life for whom your fire does not burn brightly. It's a risk, but the benefit is "that it frees your energy to devote to building other fires that do serve you."
First bananas thought: I want to interview Sarah Palin. I bet I could get her, if I tried.
Arrive at gym: And by gym, I mean den: 7:30 am.
Workout is: SI2
Today's song is: I Dug Up a Diamond by Mark Knopfler and Emmy Lou Harris
Best lyric is:
My gem is special
Beyond all worth
As strong as any metal
Or stone in the earth
Sharp as any razor
Or blade you can buy
Bright as any laser
Or any star in the sky
I want: A library.
I love: Amy's chocolate chip cookies.
I wish: I had a cookie jar. I've wanted one for years but just can't seem to commit.
I am totally, majorly obsessing over: The lore of childhood. Am I fostering it?
Being a mom means: Walking your child back to bed for almost an hour.
Being a wife means: Having someone else to help you walk your child back into bed, back into bed, back into bed, back into bed.
Being a business owner means: Talking to everyone about what you're doing.
Today I ate: High fiber cereal and almond milk, turkey on whole grain bread, chicken, brown rice and veg—oh, and one and a half of Amy's homemade chocolate chip cookies.
Today I drank: Some water, but not nearly enough.
Work was: Rolling.
Today I learned: You have to push through. Just because you don't feel like doing something doesn't mean that you have an excuse not to do it.
I am: Listening to Shawn deal with Scarlett. It was his turn. She's still up. She's relentless.
Tomorrow I will: Run faster.

Pop Song 89

Wake up: 5:45 am
Slept for: Almost 6 hours
First thought is: Maybe he'll go back to sleep—but then the chatter turned into crying and I knew it was all over for me.
Baby is: Almost ready for his Exersaucer, aka the one thing that enabled me to work when I didn't have a sitter for Scarlett. God bless the Exersaucer.
This is: In the basement along with a warehouse of things that need to be given away or just chucked. Chucking things rules.
Daughter is: Starting school in two weeks from Tuesday. I think. I should double check that.
This is: Built up. We've received mail correspondences from her school weekly—which is lovely and formal and important, but not all I can think about is how not eco-friendly they're being.
Man is: Playing softball today. Just one more Sunday to go.
This is: Well, I used to be so excited when his season was over, but now I realize it's the only thing he has outside of this home and work, which is also in this home. So, I guess it's actually not so great. Basketball doesn't start until November.
Goal for the day: Same as they ever were: workout, eat cleanly, think cleanly, work.
Kabbalah says: This is from yesterday's daily email: "There is a joke about these two shoe salesmen who travel to a third world country in search of new business opportunities.

One man calls his wife the moment he lands, telling her, 'Honey, I'm coming back home. There's no hope here. Nobody here is wearing shoes, so there's no one to sell to.' He boards the next flight home.

The second man calls his wife and says, 'Honey, you wouldn't believe what I found here. There is so much opportunity. No one here is wearing shoes. I can sell to the whole country!'

There's opportunity everywhere. When we have a consciousness of expecting the magic to happen, it will happen. We'll find the right people, we'll move in the right circles, we'll 'bump' into the right solutions. It all starts with that opening in the mind."
First bananas thought: I can bang out this article in an hour. Come on, do I really think that? Am I doing some subversive mind over matter Jedi mind tricks on myself?
Arrive at gym:
Workout is:
Today's song is: Pop Song 89 by REM
Best lyric is: Hello, I'm sorry I lost myself
I think I thought you were someone else
When I hear this song: It reminds me of freshman year of college (which wasn't in 89—it was in 93, thank you very much).
Flash thought: Loretta Zahnstucker's (I should look up that spelling) art studio. I can see it so clearly. I can feel it. I took art classes after school when I was 7 or 8. I loved it, even though I'd always say that I didn't want to go. We did water colors and oil paintings. Art is so therapeutic. Do you have weird flashes of non-sequitur thoughts, too? What are they? Why are they?
I want: A razor-back vest. I'm into it—but you really have to be hipster skinny to pull it off.
I love: Opening the back door that leads to the deck and hearing the sounds of the morning, especially now that the jabber man has fallen back to sleep and the other people who live here are still silent. Ahhhh, heaven. I forget to open doors and windows, sometimes. I forget how calming and wonderful it is to let the outside in.
I wish: Someone would write the article that I continue to put off.
I am totally, majorly obsessing over: Getting copies of Real Simple (its family edition), which goes on sale tomorrow. We're featured in it.
Being a mom means: Giving more.
Being a wife means: Giving more
Being a business owner means: Giving more.
Out of the mouths of babes: "I love you"—as said by Scarlett to her little friend John during their playdate yesterday.
Today I ate: Decently, save a mess of crackers before dinner.
Today I drank: Not nearly enough water...again.
Work was: Great. The issue of Real Simple featuring THE FAMILY GROOVE is out now. We're in an article called "Best Parenting Sites" and dubbed "Best Daily Destination."
Today I learned: It's always darkest before dawn.
I am: Working—but at least I have the TV on. It makes me feel a little better about working on Sunday night.
Tomorrow I will: Move forward.

I Am the Highway

Wake up: 4:40 am—the baby got up. I can't really complain though. He usually sleeps past 6. He actually had gotten up at 3-something but Shawn got him back to sleep for an hour.
Slept for: About five and a half hours.
First thought is: Guess I have to get up this time.
Baby is: Back to sleep now. At 5:30, after he was done eating, I thought about going back to sleep, but I realized my time would be better served if I got some work done.
This is: Great...for now. Presently, I feel ready to take on the world. I am sure that I'll be tired by 9.
Daughter is: Three. She's just three years old and she has every bit of the attitude of a teenager—or at least what I remember having as a teenager. When I told her she couldn't do something last night, she told me that she didn't love me. I couldn't believe it. How did that concept even enter into her brain? She later apologized and then proceeded to tell me that she loved me and have her dollies tell me that they love me.
This is: Honestly, kind of hurtful. I mean, I get it, and I contained it (didn't let the thoughts turn into other thoughts and feelings), but I can't help but being a bit taken aback.
Man is: Well, my mom has a saying: "Stick a broom up my butt and I'll sweep, too." Lovely.
Anyway, this would sum his week up.
This is: Just how it goes. I do wonder about when we will reach a point where he isn't working 70+ hours a week and doing so much for everyone else and mowing the lawn and pulling the weeds and fixing up the house and fixing everyone's computers. I guess that's kind of what dads do—or good dads. The lawn stuff could be crossed off of his list—but he says he actually likes it.
Goal for the day: Eat clean, clean the house, workout, work
Kabbalah says: "Chaos is the misperception that there are no connections. In fact, everything is connected. Everything."
First bananas thought: Yes, we have no bananas. We have no bananas today.
Arrive at gym: 7:50 am
Workout is: Cardio only. I really pushed myself. I saw how it was my instinct to slow down and labor more when the plane or the level got higher. I didn't let it happen for more than a second though. I consciously made an effort to continue to push hard and remain on the same level of intensity regardless of how difficult the course continued to get. Then, at the end, I started to slow down—say, about ten seconds before the course was over. But I picked it back up. Taking things to 100 percent with maximum intensity, drive and focus is what life is all about. Imagine if we all were always at 100 percent with things: our word, our follow through, our actions, our health regimes, our one-on-one time with our kids or our mates. Imagine what kind of a world we'd live in. It's all about driving. You just have to keep driving.
Today's song is: I Am the Highway by Audioslave
Best lyric is: Friends and liars don't wait for me
'Cause I'll get on all by myself
Best spam subject line: I have only 5 emails in my junk mail. I can't believe it. I wonder if Comcast strengthened its firewall or if the spammers have moved on.
It's the best because: What, I'm not spam worthy now?
I want: Solar panels like Larry Hagman has.
I love: When my hair dries well. Hey, you can be deep all the time!
I wish: I had a white Halston pants suit a la Bianca Jagger.
I am totally, majorly obsessing over: Following the daily eating plan that I devise for myself nightly.
Being a mom means: Focus.
Being a wife means: Being on the same page.
Being a business owner means: Going big or going home. Wait, I am home. Okay, just going big.
Out of the mouths of babes: "You're in a time out!" Now, we haven't really put her in time outs yet. I put her in one once. So, this is coming from school. My little angel baby in a time out? Gasp!
Today I ate: Mixed veggie juice (fresh), shot of wheat grass, salad of romaine, strawberries, almond slivers, 1/4 avocado, lemon juice and olive oil (I am living for this salad), protein shake with almond milk. Tonight I'll have fish and vegetables. We're probably going out for dinner, so I am sure I'll have a drink. I wish that I could abstain. I mean, I know I have a choice. I know that I am in control of it, but I also know that I will want to have a drink once we're out.
Today I drank: Hot water with lemon in the morning, water all day and 1/4 cup of coffee with almond milk. I have been up since 4:50 this morning—I had to do something.
Work was: Layered.
Today I learned: The truth shall set you free. Speak it—even if you think that it won't be accepted. Speak the truth.
I am: Messing with my cuticles.
Tomorrow I will: Be closer to attaining my goals.

Daydream Believer

Wake up: 6:02 am
Slept for: I really, truly do not know. I don't remember getting into bed last night. I don't remember watching TV (which is how I usually know what time it is). I don't remember anything about last night, including getting ready for bed, even though I know I did. Strange.
First thought is: Good lord! I don't remember that either.
Baby is: Down for his morning nap.
This is: Glory, glory hallelujah. And I have the window open (it's right in front of my desk) so the heavenly breeze eases into and out of my office, reminding me that there's life outside of this screen.
Daughter is: At camp. She ran in today—quite a difference from a month ago. And she's wearing undies. She's been wearing undies only on her off days but I realized that it's time I—uh, I mean her—make the final transition.
This is: Nerve wracking...for me.
Man is: "Slightly to moderately less grouchy than yesterday."
This is: Good.
Goal for the day: Energy up!
Kabbalah says: "Tell your problems about the light." Meaning, we tell god/the universe/whatever you want to call it about our problems, but god knows. God gave us those problems to force us to rise to the occasion and grow and share and connect. God never gives more than we can handle either. So, flip it today: grasp a hold of your problems and tell them about the light, the good stuff, the reason, the truth. And maybe they won't be problems after that little talk.
First bananas thought: I am going to interview Madonna for THE FAMILY GROOVE.
Arrive at gym: 7:00
Workout is: Rarely as long as I'd like it to be but still worthwhile. 400 calories burned in 38 minutes. By the way, those calories counters are just estimations. Every person's body is different—different burning rates, different metabolisms, etc.—so there'd be no way for those machines to truly figure out what you burned.
Today's song is: Daydream Believer by The Monkees (My first crush—or maybe second because I did love Donnie Osmond—was on Mickey Dolenz. Why not Davy is the question.)
Best lyric is: "Daydream believer"
Best spam subject line: Charlize Theron new boyfriend
It's the best because: Who cares about Charlize's boyfriend?
I want: Some water. I haven't had any water yet today.
I love: Wheat grass juice. Do it, people. Life changing.
I wish: I had my wishes in order. I never know what I wish for.
I am totally, majorly obsessing over: Being alkaline. Major. It's major.
Being a mom means: Reading books at bedtime, even though you have three loads of laundry to do, five bottles to wash, two articles to rewrite and one blog to finish.
Being a wife means: Stopping typing when your man is telling you about his game.
Being a business owner means: PR
Out of the mouths of babes: "When will the clouds stop holding onto the moon?
Today I ate: Cleanly. Mostly alkaline foods except I did eat too much fish for dinner and whole wheat bread with my lunch and vinegar on my salad, so it might have put me over the 80/20 split.
Today I drank: Water and an acai and vanilla protein smoothie.
Work was: Work is.
Today I learned: That fantasies are actually mini movies of the future. I didn't really learn that today; I've always known it. Though I only recently understand how powerful that truth is. I used fantasize about things, down to the detail of what I was wearing, and then the opportunity would arise for me to make it happen and I couldn't believe how lucky I was that I got to put my daydream into play. It happens. So start daydreaming. Do it often and get down the nitty gritty details of it. It's just prep work for the future.
I am: Debating whether or not I should take the computer into bed and put on the TV while I work. It's not a smart idea, but I'll do it anyway. I've been in my office for over 12 hours today.
Tomorrow I will: Plant seeds. It's a good week to do some planting.

Burning Down the House

Wake up: 6:20 am
Slept for: Almost 7 hours
First thought is: I need to drink more water today.
Baby is: Laughing when Scarlett gets in trouble.
This is: The start of an interesting dynamic.
Daughter is: Taking hours to eat her breakfast. It's a control drama. It will pass I know, but it takes every ounce of patience and fortitude to not freak out at her and instead remain calm but stern.
This is: Tiring. I am actually tired from this morning's hour long misadventure.
Man is: Not looking so great. He just looks tired and worn out.
This is: From working too much, stress and eating too much sugar. That's going to stop.
Goal for the day: Do laundry, which is a big goal because my dryer broke again and so I have to do it at my mom's house, work and finish the cleanse, aka not eat for the fifth and final day.
Kabbalah says: Get rid of the word "should." It has nothing to do with intention and intention is key.
First bananas thought: I am going to majorly, totally clean every ounce of the kitchen—as thought in a most obsessive, this-has-to-be-done-so-I-can-breathe way.
Arrive at gym: 7:00 am
Workout is: Brief. I chatted with a friend on the way in, which ate up 5 minutes and I needed to be home by 7:35 at the latest to get Scarlett ready for camp. Sometimes 5 minutes makes a difference, though you have to think that there was a higher purpose to the 5 minute exchange that superseded the extra 5 on the Precor.
Today's song is: Burning Down the House by Talking Heads
Best lyric is: Watch out, you might get what you're after
Best spam subject line: No great line but great sender name: Yarbrough T. Willard.
It's the best because: It sounds a name Homer would make up for a detective.
I want: Grains and steamed vegetables. Seriously. This cleanse has kicked out all sugar and crap food cravings.
I love: That you can always start from one.
I wish: All of the evening's household to-dos were done. There should be someone who comes in at 5, feeds your kids, bathes them, reads to them, puts them to sleep and straightens up the house—not every night, but at least three. I guess that's kind of what grandparents do, maybe minus the cleaning.
I am totally, majorly obsessing over: The pile on the right-hand side of my desk. Bad feng shui! Bad!
Being a mom means: Getting up periodically to coax my son back to sleep.
Being a wife means: Fighting to keep your eyes open at 10:30.
Being a business owner means: Friday night meetings, per usual. Amy did the cleanse, too. She now looks 18.
Out of the mouths of babes: "Whatchu mean?" This is her new catch phrase. It's very Arnold.
Today I ate: Day five of the Blueprint Cleanse. I couldn't finish any of the drinks. I just couldn't stomach them. It wasn't the not eating that was difficult, it was drinking of the same six tonics day in and day out. It worked though. I look great. I am not sure how much weight I lost because I didn't weigh myself until Tuesday. I do know that I lost 4 pounds between Tuesday morning and Friday morning. It's actually relatively high in calories (1700 per day),so it's not necessarily designed for weight loss. It's more for real, hard core cleansing. I can totally see it in my face and skin. Bad digestion shows up on your face. My pores are invisible now and my skin is glowing. For real. And the best part is that I don't crave any bad foods. All I want is brown rice and steamed vegetables—and, man, how I want it!
Today I drank: 6 cleansing tonics, water, tea.
Work was: A blur.
Today I learned: You have to push yourself. Once you make the decision to push through, you'll have the energy to do it.
I am: Going to get the tea that's been sitting on my kitchen counter since 8, going to fold a basket of laundry that's been sitting next to my bed since Wednesday, going to find a new home for my pocket book innards (I threw out my purse. It was Prada and it was fab, but it had seen better days. It was way, way old and held too much energy now).
Tomorrow I will: Use a new purse. New purse. New energy.

Waiting Room

Wake up: 6:20 am
Slept for: 7 hours
First thought is: Not a thought so much as a quick body scan of how I felt. Answer: good but still have a slight hangover-feeling headache. This is day 4 of my five day cleanse.
Baby is: Going for his three month check up tomorrow, aka a source of anxiety, as are all doctor's visits nowadays due to confusion and worry over shots.
This is: Stressful and sad.
Daughter is: Sans sitter today. I'm already exhausted. Not complaining—just reporting. I know plenty of moms do it every day. It's just that today August issue launches and it's always a gangbusters day. There's so much blood, sweat and tears that go into making each issue and it's always nerve wracking, exciting and stressful when the issue goes live. I've worked it and loved it and hated it for so long, so to release it to the world is a big deal. Or I am just completely overly dramatizing things. Whatevs.
This is: What was I saying?
Man is: Out with daughter on a Play-Doh run. Though we're freakazoids so we buy her this non-chemical, non-China stuff. It's actually better than PD because it doesn't harden and dry out. I miss the old school PD smell though.
This is: Parenting in 2008.
Goal for the day: Send out all the barrage of emails to our list and editorial mentions about the new issue. Also, stressful because I so want people to like it. So co-dependent, I am.
Kabbalah says: "When we hit rock bottom, though it's painful physically, it is also a breaking of klipot [shells of negativity] that create barriers between us and our true fulfillment. Of course, no one wants to be in this position - it hurts! But at the same time, we want to have the courage to accept it. The faster we admit that the pain has a purpose, the faster it will fill its purpose and subsequently go away.Remember today that temporary pain prepares us to receive lasting fulfillment. Have the courage to fully experience your pain. You'll be surprised at the messages it can bring you."
First bananas thought: What if I juiced every day and just ate a sensible dinner?
Arrive at gym: 7:30-ish
Workout is: Good. I am glad I did it. I didn't feel up to working out yesterday.
Today's song is: Waiting Room by Fugazi
Best lyric is: And I won't make the same mistakes because I know who much time that wastes
Best spam subject line: I actually don't have that much in my junk folder today.
It's the best because: Yup.
I want: A scarf. I am feeling a scarf—for fashion, not for warmth.
I love: Thinking about new ways to be healthy.
I wish: There was a raw food place here.
I am totally, majorly obsessing over: Malibu. I want a house in Malibu.
Being a mom means: Many loads of laundry.
Being a wife means: Maybe, possibly not working tonight so I can see my man for more than five minutes.
Being a business owner means: Working most nights of the week.
Out of the mouths of babes: "You terribled me."
Today I ate: Day 4 of Blueprint Cleanse, baby. Going strong.
Today I drank: So far, four out of six juices. First, third and fifth ones have green things in them like kale, celery, cucumber, romaine, lemon (which I know is not green) parsley and green apple. Second one has pineapple, apple and mint. Fourth one has water, lemon, cayenne and agave. Last one has raw cashew nuts, agave, cinnamon and vanilla bean.
Work was: Well, is still going. I am getting it done though and learning a few things along the way.
Today I learned: To go against my instinct by not reacting.
I am: In the middle of a million things. I should get off this dang blog.
Tomorrow I will: Work and learn.