Jolene

Wake up: 6:19 am
Slept for: 7 hours
First thought is: Workout today. You have to workout today.
Baby is: Big, man. He is big. 16 pounds at 4 months and one week.
This is: I used to judge all babies by Scarlett—who was barely 20 pounds at a year. I didn't mean to judge, but I was doing it nonetheless. As ridiculous as it sounds, I used to think that something was wrong with babies who were so big. I'd think such waste-of-time thoughts as why are their parents feeding them so much. This and other gratuitous and completely stupid thoughts have plagued me (as they do for many people, whether or not they realize it), but I am committed to getting a handle on them. Think about how much more energy you'd have if stupid, petty, insidious thoughts didn't mar up your otherwise positive thinking. Think about how much happier you'd be if you could always just be in the positive with things and learn to effectively and easily push away and eventually vanquish all other ways of thinking. Think about that today, seriously.
Daughter is: At school. She loves it. She lives for it. Frampton comes alive.
This is: A relief—though I am adjusting to having to be out of the house at 8:10 on the dot. She's three, so we have 15 more years of the morning dash.
Man is: Trapper John. We've got a squirrel in the attic—which I guess is better than having bats in our belfry.
This is: Potentially fleeting. We'll see if the big guns are called in.
Goal for the day: Workout–done. Eat cleanly—doing-ish.
Kabbalah says: "We can always find lots of reasons to be frustrated with people. But we want to remember that everyone has their limitations, and tikun. Sometimes the best thing we can do is to be compassionate.

Today, choose one person you're really judging and find a way to share with them. Don't think about it too much. Just see if you can put the anger or whatever it is aside and do something nice."
First bananas thought: Not a bananas kind of day...yet.
Arrive at gym: Did 21-minute workout at 7:30. It's great, but things would be moving at warp speed if I could get to the gym and do 30 or so minutes of cardio.
Workout is: Not terribly intense today. I didn't go into it with focus.
Today's song is: Jolene by Dolly Parton
Best lyric is: Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene
I want: To go vegetarian again. Maybe. Well, I mean, I am thinking about it. I haven't been one for a good 10 years now.
I love: Fresh juices. I had a carrot, apple, ginger, parsley one today. Dreamy.
I wish: I had my own juicer—and someone to clean it.
I am totally, majorly obsessing over: Our new About TFG. I think it finally says what it should say, as a first-stop introduction to the magazine. Check it out:
http://www.thefamilygroove.com/abouttfg.htm
Being a mom means: Paying attention—and it's so challenging. Have you tried to pay attention, to really pay attention without your mind wandering to your ever-rolling to-do list or your hands wandering to straighten something up or your eyes wandering to the television or the dust bunny about to hop through your kitchen. Phew! It ain't easy.
Being a wife means: Having someone to spell with.
Being a business owner means: Figuring out what your company can do the best.
Out of the mouths of babes: "Two kids in class were crying. They totally had meltdowns."
Today I ate: Small bagel with soy butter for breakfast (bad choice), a juice for snack, a tempeh, tomato and lettuce sandwich for lunch. Salad with grilled shrimp, a few oysters and some bread for dinner.
Today I drank: Coffee (bad choice) with milk (even worse choice) and water. Glass and a half of red wine. I should have stopped at one glass.
Work was: Hectic.
Today I learned: That's there's a difference between self-esteem and self-confidence.
I am: Going to have to figure that one out.
Tomorrow I will: Work like the dickens. I have so much work to do that sometimes I can't wrap my head around it. There's a fine line between motivating and frustrating.

I Dug Up a Diamond

Wake up: 6:02 am
Slept for: Maybe 6 1/2 hours.
First thought is: I am doing it. I have to get exercising again. I haven't done anything in over a week. Work has been so busy. Good lord, that's the worst excuse! I've been getting up at 5:30 or 6 every day, but I've been diving into work. It does feel good to get so much accomplished before 8. It does help you get ahead, but, ultimately, it doesn't sustain you. You can't find the time to workout; you have to make the time. So,what's stopping me? I have these awesome tapes from Barry's Bootcamp (buy these DVDs, people!) that give you results-packed 21-minute workouts. Come on! I didn't have 21 minutes a day last week? It's sabotage. I totally sabotaged myself last week. The week prior I worked out six days in a row—and I definitely, definitely saw results. Last week was so busy and, as a result, so stressful and emotionally draining that I thought I didn't have one ounce of mojo to spare. In reality, if I had been working out—if I had just done it one time—I would have created gallons of mojo. It's the same lesson that I've learned time and time again. Maybe I finally get it now.
Baby is: A mover. He's so alive and so physical. I don't remember if Scarlett was this physical or if I am falling prey to the cliche that boys move more.
This is: Well, whether it's him or boys or whatever, it's a sign of things to come. I best get ready for his mobility.
Daughter is: Starting school tomorrow.
This is: Huge. It's huge...for me. I live for her school. I want to go myself.
Man is: IF on a good day and VVS1 on a grouchy one. I bet he'd say FL.
This is: Sparkly.
Goal for the day: Workout–done. Eat well—will do. Work—doing. Look into my kids eyes with life—doing.
Kabbalah says: Get rid of the people in your life for whom your fire does not burn brightly. It's a risk, but the benefit is "that it frees your energy to devote to building other fires that do serve you."
First bananas thought: I want to interview Sarah Palin. I bet I could get her, if I tried.
Arrive at gym: And by gym, I mean den: 7:30 am.
Workout is: SI2
Today's song is: I Dug Up a Diamond by Mark Knopfler and Emmy Lou Harris
Best lyric is:
My gem is special
Beyond all worth
As strong as any metal
Or stone in the earth
Sharp as any razor
Or blade you can buy
Bright as any laser
Or any star in the sky
I want: A library.
I love: Amy's chocolate chip cookies.
I wish: I had a cookie jar. I've wanted one for years but just can't seem to commit.
I am totally, majorly obsessing over: The lore of childhood. Am I fostering it?
Being a mom means: Walking your child back to bed for almost an hour.
Being a wife means: Having someone else to help you walk your child back into bed, back into bed, back into bed, back into bed.
Being a business owner means: Talking to everyone about what you're doing.
Today I ate: High fiber cereal and almond milk, turkey on whole grain bread, chicken, brown rice and veg—oh, and one and a half of Amy's homemade chocolate chip cookies.
Today I drank: Some water, but not nearly enough.
Work was: Rolling.
Today I learned: You have to push through. Just because you don't feel like doing something doesn't mean that you have an excuse not to do it.
I am: Listening to Shawn deal with Scarlett. It was his turn. She's still up. She's relentless.
Tomorrow I will: Run faster.

Pop Song 89

Wake up: 5:45 am
Slept for: Almost 6 hours
First thought is: Maybe he'll go back to sleep—but then the chatter turned into crying and I knew it was all over for me.
Baby is: Almost ready for his Exersaucer, aka the one thing that enabled me to work when I didn't have a sitter for Scarlett. God bless the Exersaucer.
This is: In the basement along with a warehouse of things that need to be given away or just chucked. Chucking things rules.
Daughter is: Starting school in two weeks from Tuesday. I think. I should double check that.
This is: Built up. We've received mail correspondences from her school weekly—which is lovely and formal and important, but not all I can think about is how not eco-friendly they're being.
Man is: Playing softball today. Just one more Sunday to go.
This is: Well, I used to be so excited when his season was over, but now I realize it's the only thing he has outside of this home and work, which is also in this home. So, I guess it's actually not so great. Basketball doesn't start until November.
Goal for the day: Same as they ever were: workout, eat cleanly, think cleanly, work.
Kabbalah says: This is from yesterday's daily email: "There is a joke about these two shoe salesmen who travel to a third world country in search of new business opportunities.

One man calls his wife the moment he lands, telling her, 'Honey, I'm coming back home. There's no hope here. Nobody here is wearing shoes, so there's no one to sell to.' He boards the next flight home.

The second man calls his wife and says, 'Honey, you wouldn't believe what I found here. There is so much opportunity. No one here is wearing shoes. I can sell to the whole country!'

There's opportunity everywhere. When we have a consciousness of expecting the magic to happen, it will happen. We'll find the right people, we'll move in the right circles, we'll 'bump' into the right solutions. It all starts with that opening in the mind."
First bananas thought: I can bang out this article in an hour. Come on, do I really think that? Am I doing some subversive mind over matter Jedi mind tricks on myself?
Arrive at gym:
Workout is:
Today's song is: Pop Song 89 by REM
Best lyric is: Hello, I'm sorry I lost myself
I think I thought you were someone else
When I hear this song: It reminds me of freshman year of college (which wasn't in 89—it was in 93, thank you very much).
Flash thought: Loretta Zahnstucker's (I should look up that spelling) art studio. I can see it so clearly. I can feel it. I took art classes after school when I was 7 or 8. I loved it, even though I'd always say that I didn't want to go. We did water colors and oil paintings. Art is so therapeutic. Do you have weird flashes of non-sequitur thoughts, too? What are they? Why are they?
I want: A razor-back vest. I'm into it—but you really have to be hipster skinny to pull it off.
I love: Opening the back door that leads to the deck and hearing the sounds of the morning, especially now that the jabber man has fallen back to sleep and the other people who live here are still silent. Ahhhh, heaven. I forget to open doors and windows, sometimes. I forget how calming and wonderful it is to let the outside in.
I wish: Someone would write the article that I continue to put off.
I am totally, majorly obsessing over: Getting copies of Real Simple (its family edition), which goes on sale tomorrow. We're featured in it.
Being a mom means: Giving more.
Being a wife means: Giving more
Being a business owner means: Giving more.
Out of the mouths of babes: "I love you"—as said by Scarlett to her little friend John during their playdate yesterday.
Today I ate: Decently, save a mess of crackers before dinner.
Today I drank: Not nearly enough water...again.
Work was: Great. The issue of Real Simple featuring THE FAMILY GROOVE is out now. We're in an article called "Best Parenting Sites" and dubbed "Best Daily Destination."
Today I learned: It's always darkest before dawn.
I am: Working—but at least I have the TV on. It makes me feel a little better about working on Sunday night.
Tomorrow I will: Move forward.

Karma Police

Wake up: 6:24 am
Slept for: Just over 6 hours.
First thought is: A rundown of my dreams, all of which were quite bizarre. In one, I was in a car with Scarlett and my dad and she was insisting on showing us some trick she did with the baby's car seat (no baby in it). She took it out of the car, which was now pulled over in on-coming traffic, and proceeded to play in the traffic—like that old awful thing that mean parents used to say: "Go play in traffic!".
Baby is: Talking to the hanging bears on his Pack-n-Play.
This is: Cute, sweet—and a little guilt-inducing. I should play with him.
Daughter is: Starting school full-time in two weeks.
This is: As a first time mom, you never really think it's going to happen.
Man is: Pass.
This is: Pass.
Goal for the day: To write. I have a ton of writing to do.
Kabbalah says: "We all reach points in our days when we don't understand. It can be a relationship challenge, a health issue, which direction to do with our career, a difficult passage of study, a momentous business decision. We all get those 'not-knowing' moments.

The way to see with clarity is, according to Rav Ashlag, to stretch. Not physically [though a forward bend always does wonders.] But to really do something that is outside your zone of comfort, out of the norm. When we elevate above the normal course of things, the Light responds in kind.

Suddenly we understand what we are reading, suddenly we know which doctor to go to, suddenly we see what limiting belief has been sabotaging our relationships. These moments of epiphany do not come from our brains, they come from the Light.

Go above your nature today. Really stretch your tolerance or patience or compassion or belief in yourself. Do something that will build the vessel for whatever it is that's beyond you to come in."
Arrive at gym: Nope.
Workout is: Nope.
Today's song is: Karma Police by Radiohead
Best lyric is: Karma police, arrest this man he talks in maths
He buzzes like a fridge
He's like a detuned radio
Best spam subject line: Really, there's been so little lately that I think I should get rid of this prompt.
I want: A cup of coffee from Balthazar.
I love: The mornings.
I wish: I felt like writing.
I am totally, majorly obsessing over: What if...
Being a mom means: Not letting the kids' simul-cry break you.
Being a wife means: Learning how to delay responses.
Being a business owner means: Making quiche from the eggs in your basket.
Out of the mouths of babes: "I need you, Mommy." That one kills.
Today I ate: Much better than yesterday, but still not perfectly.
Today I drank: Water, a cup of coffee and a protein shake with unsweetened almond milk.
Work was: Quiet. Very little frenzy. I am getting through everything I had on my list.
Today I learned: That success can take many shapes.
I am: Tired today. Not sure why. I haven't worked out in four days—that could be the answer.
Tomorrow I will: Work harder at learning the lessons.

Cherry Bomb

Wake up: 5:50 am
Slept for: Almost 6 hours
First thought is: No going back to sleep after you feed the baby. You have work to do.
Baby is: Just getting up this minute. Can I type fast enough to out pace his chatter before it becomes cries?
This is: Not happening.
Daughter is: Doing so much better, attitude-wise. She's starting to understand things, her emotions, cause and effect much more deeply.
This is: A relief...until the next hurdle.
Man is: Working.
This is: Same as it ever was.
Goal for the day: Not be burnt out.
Kabbalah says: "Love thy neighbor as thyself"
Arrive at gym: Ugh. Not yet. Probably can't go later. Today is one mother of a work day and night.
Workout is: How many calories do you burn while typing?
Today's song is: Cherry Bomb by Joan Jett
Best lyric is: I'm the fox you've been waiting for
It's the best because: Fox is a fab word.
I want: A drink.
I love: The women I am blessed to connect with on a daily basis.
I wish: Anthony Robbins or Forum classes were mandatory.
I am totally, majorly obsessing over: Pamela Anderson. Love her.
Being a mom means: Laundry.
Being a wife means: Having separate offices. Smart.
Being a business owner means: Ups and downs—really, all-in-all, they're better than middles.
Out of the mouths of babes: I should carry a journal for this one. Scarlett drops so many hysterical one-liners but, lately, I can't seem to retain any of them.
Today I ate: I don't completely remember. I didn't preplan my menu like I usually do, so I was popping bites of this and nibbles (hate that word, actually) of that into my mouth all day long.
Today I drank: Practically nothing—maybe one glass of water. So bad!
Work was: Interesting. On the high, we are in Real Simple Family, which is on newsstands on August 18. It's their annual Family special issue.
Today I learned: The more you learn, the harder the lessons get.
I am: Possibly going to have that drink but I will definitely follow it up with some water.
Tomorrow I will: Get back on track. Do I say that everyday or what?

Pretty in Pink

Wake up: 6 am
Slept for: Hmmm... I had a martini last night and passed out as soon as I got into bed. I fooled myself into thinking that I'd just sit down for a few minutes before I got up to clean up the downstairs and do some work. That never works.
First thought is: I feel a bit rough today. I hate that feeling.
Baby is: Not sleeping a wink today so far.
This is: Patience-trying.
Daughter is: Totally potty trained for a couple of weeks now. I just decided she had to do it and she went for it. Kids take cues from their parents. I think she knew that I was ready.
This is: A sigh of relief.
Man is: Fixing my mom's computer.
This is: Nice of him.
Goal for the day: Feel better from last night's drink.
Kabbalah says: Whenever we feel depressed, unfulfilled or anxious, it's because we have lost touch with god.
First bananas thought: Daily Candy just sold to Comcast for 125 million. This thought has been on the top of my queue since Amy told me yesterday.
Arrive at gym: Didn't go. Had to clean this morning.
Workout is: Not going to happen today but if I go tomorrow and Sunday, then I'll still get in 5 days.
Today's song is: Pretty in Pink by Psychedelic Furs
Best lyric is: She lives in the place in the side our lives where nothing is ever put straight
I want: The simplicity of years gone by.
I love: Romanticized hindsight.
I wish: Late nights weren't punished by early mornings.
I am totally, majorly obsessing over: The Magic Eraser. It's no joke: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Melamine_foam
Being a mom means: Getting your kids paper towels, even when they're 30.
Being a wife means: Knowing when to support your man.
Being a business owner means: Never, ever taking your eye off of the prize.
Today I ate: Overall pretty good. I even went out to dinner and didn't completely blow it. I think after a while of being disciplined, it kind of becomes habit.
Today I drank: Water, iced white tea and two martinis—but I spilled the first one after drinking one-third.
Work was: Very productive—which gives me hope for a productive weekend.
Today I learned: It's easy to revert to old habits. You constantly have to be aware of your thoughts. I have to practice not reacting.
I am: Going to start to think more big picture.
Tomorrow I will: Do more. I am starting to plateau a bit on the mental-front.

The Glamorous Life

Wake up: 6:20 am
Slept for: Maybe 7 hours
First thought is: How long can I ignore the baby's babbling before it turns a definite cry?
Baby is: A devil in disguise.
This is: Genetic.
Daughter is: Starting school (five days a week!) next month.
This is: So exciting...for me. I loved school.
Man is: "Working. Nothing exciting. Same shit."
This is: Him getting annoyed at the daily "Man is" question.
Goal for the day: Eat cleanly, breathe, deal with the stress that greeted me the minute I opened my eyes.
Kabbalah says: " When we don't resolve conflicts in our relationships, our lives can't move forward."
First bananas thought: Maybe I should juice (or shake) breakfast and lunch and then have a sensible dinner—everyday.
Arrive at gym: I might not be able to go today unless I go after 9. I have a meeting tonight at 7 and then a ton of work scheduled for this evening. Today might be my day off.
Workout is: Well, I can still do sit ups and push ups and arms. Actually, I could do a real home workout courtesy of one of our many awesome home routines a la Lori Sawyer.
Today's song is: The Glamorous Life by Sheila E—though I am sure that Prince wrote. He wrote everything in the 80s. He was the 80s Barry Gibb.
Best lyric is: She wears a long coat of mink even in the summertime
Best spam subject line: No great subject lines, but the FBI did send me a very important note about terrorism and ATM fraud.
It's the best because: I am very important, you know.
I want: Not to wear my gym clothes all day today—and maybe even to put on a bit of makeup. Ooooh, makeup. Yes. And the worst part is that my gym clothes sometimes double for pajamas. It confuses Scarlett.
I love: That there's a health food store down the road from my house. Score one for the suburbs! Today I got a two ounce shot of wheat grass and a carrot, beet, celery and mixed greens freshly squeezed juice.
I wish: I had my own juicer. I actually think I might have one, now that I am thinking about it.
I am totally, majorly obsessing over: My new washer and dryer. The latter broke and the former was on the fritz. Anyway, there's front-loading and they're heaven. The washer uses 65 percent less water. 65 percent! And both machines use less energy. In fact, somehow the clothes come out of the washer not as wet, so the dryer has less work to do, which equals less energy use. Also, there's no agitator on the dryer, so the quality of the clothes remains in tact. The ones we got were really not much more than the regular ones.
Being a mom means: Slowing down, even when you want to go, go, go.
Being a wife means: Having a strategy.
Being a business owner means: Also having a strategy.
Out of the mouths of babes: "You're welcome. It was no pleasure."
Today I ate: Mixed greens, carrot and beet drink for breakfast, spinach, strawberry, 1/4 avocado and sliced almonds topped with lemon juice and a drizzle of olive oil for lunch, protein shake with almond milk (good, low cal, low fat and even has a little fiber—and it's on the alkaline list) for snack. Dinner will be chicken or veggie burger with slightly steamed vegetables. Does menu totally rule or what? Mean and clean, people!
Today I drank: Hot water with lemon before I ate or drank, as it were, anything this morning, water with lemon all day and a half a cup of coffee with almond milk. I am allowing myself the treat of two cups of coffee per week and two alcoholic drinks per week.
Work was: Well, work still is and will be until at least 10 tonight, save the 5:30 to 7:30 break for dinner, bath and bed.
Today I learned: You have to know how to read the signs. Opportunity doesn't always come in a pretty package, but everything that comes your way, good and bad, is a chance to fulfill your dreams and attain your goals.
I am: A might bit speedy from the coffee. Loves it!
Tomorrow I will: Eat at well as I did today. It totally made all the difference in how I felt on all levels. Feeling good physically directly impacts your state of mind. And having a strong and clear state of mind allows you to be much more in tune with the universe and the divine order of things.

Daydream Believer

Wake up: 6:02 am
Slept for: I really, truly do not know. I don't remember getting into bed last night. I don't remember watching TV (which is how I usually know what time it is). I don't remember anything about last night, including getting ready for bed, even though I know I did. Strange.
First thought is: Good lord! I don't remember that either.
Baby is: Down for his morning nap.
This is: Glory, glory hallelujah. And I have the window open (it's right in front of my desk) so the heavenly breeze eases into and out of my office, reminding me that there's life outside of this screen.
Daughter is: At camp. She ran in today—quite a difference from a month ago. And she's wearing undies. She's been wearing undies only on her off days but I realized that it's time I—uh, I mean her—make the final transition.
This is: Nerve wracking...for me.
Man is: "Slightly to moderately less grouchy than yesterday."
This is: Good.
Goal for the day: Energy up!
Kabbalah says: "Tell your problems about the light." Meaning, we tell god/the universe/whatever you want to call it about our problems, but god knows. God gave us those problems to force us to rise to the occasion and grow and share and connect. God never gives more than we can handle either. So, flip it today: grasp a hold of your problems and tell them about the light, the good stuff, the reason, the truth. And maybe they won't be problems after that little talk.
First bananas thought: I am going to interview Madonna for THE FAMILY GROOVE.
Arrive at gym: 7:00
Workout is: Rarely as long as I'd like it to be but still worthwhile. 400 calories burned in 38 minutes. By the way, those calories counters are just estimations. Every person's body is different—different burning rates, different metabolisms, etc.—so there'd be no way for those machines to truly figure out what you burned.
Today's song is: Daydream Believer by The Monkees (My first crush—or maybe second because I did love Donnie Osmond—was on Mickey Dolenz. Why not Davy is the question.)
Best lyric is: "Daydream believer"
Best spam subject line: Charlize Theron new boyfriend
It's the best because: Who cares about Charlize's boyfriend?
I want: Some water. I haven't had any water yet today.
I love: Wheat grass juice. Do it, people. Life changing.
I wish: I had my wishes in order. I never know what I wish for.
I am totally, majorly obsessing over: Being alkaline. Major. It's major.
Being a mom means: Reading books at bedtime, even though you have three loads of laundry to do, five bottles to wash, two articles to rewrite and one blog to finish.
Being a wife means: Stopping typing when your man is telling you about his game.
Being a business owner means: PR
Out of the mouths of babes: "When will the clouds stop holding onto the moon?
Today I ate: Cleanly. Mostly alkaline foods except I did eat too much fish for dinner and whole wheat bread with my lunch and vinegar on my salad, so it might have put me over the 80/20 split.
Today I drank: Water and an acai and vanilla protein smoothie.
Work was: Work is.
Today I learned: That fantasies are actually mini movies of the future. I didn't really learn that today; I've always known it. Though I only recently understand how powerful that truth is. I used fantasize about things, down to the detail of what I was wearing, and then the opportunity would arise for me to make it happen and I couldn't believe how lucky I was that I got to put my daydream into play. It happens. So start daydreaming. Do it often and get down the nitty gritty details of it. It's just prep work for the future.
I am: Debating whether or not I should take the computer into bed and put on the TV while I work. It's not a smart idea, but I'll do it anyway. I've been in my office for over 12 hours today.
Tomorrow I will: Plant seeds. It's a good week to do some planting.

Burning Down the House

Wake up: 6:20 am
Slept for: Almost 7 hours
First thought is: I need to drink more water today.
Baby is: Laughing when Scarlett gets in trouble.
This is: The start of an interesting dynamic.
Daughter is: Taking hours to eat her breakfast. It's a control drama. It will pass I know, but it takes every ounce of patience and fortitude to not freak out at her and instead remain calm but stern.
This is: Tiring. I am actually tired from this morning's hour long misadventure.
Man is: Not looking so great. He just looks tired and worn out.
This is: From working too much, stress and eating too much sugar. That's going to stop.
Goal for the day: Do laundry, which is a big goal because my dryer broke again and so I have to do it at my mom's house, work and finish the cleanse, aka not eat for the fifth and final day.
Kabbalah says: Get rid of the word "should." It has nothing to do with intention and intention is key.
First bananas thought: I am going to majorly, totally clean every ounce of the kitchen—as thought in a most obsessive, this-has-to-be-done-so-I-can-breathe way.
Arrive at gym: 7:00 am
Workout is: Brief. I chatted with a friend on the way in, which ate up 5 minutes and I needed to be home by 7:35 at the latest to get Scarlett ready for camp. Sometimes 5 minutes makes a difference, though you have to think that there was a higher purpose to the 5 minute exchange that superseded the extra 5 on the Precor.
Today's song is: Burning Down the House by Talking Heads
Best lyric is: Watch out, you might get what you're after
Best spam subject line: No great line but great sender name: Yarbrough T. Willard.
It's the best because: It sounds a name Homer would make up for a detective.
I want: Grains and steamed vegetables. Seriously. This cleanse has kicked out all sugar and crap food cravings.
I love: That you can always start from one.
I wish: All of the evening's household to-dos were done. There should be someone who comes in at 5, feeds your kids, bathes them, reads to them, puts them to sleep and straightens up the house—not every night, but at least three. I guess that's kind of what grandparents do, maybe minus the cleaning.
I am totally, majorly obsessing over: The pile on the right-hand side of my desk. Bad feng shui! Bad!
Being a mom means: Getting up periodically to coax my son back to sleep.
Being a wife means: Fighting to keep your eyes open at 10:30.
Being a business owner means: Friday night meetings, per usual. Amy did the cleanse, too. She now looks 18.
Out of the mouths of babes: "Whatchu mean?" This is her new catch phrase. It's very Arnold.
Today I ate: Day five of the Blueprint Cleanse. I couldn't finish any of the drinks. I just couldn't stomach them. It wasn't the not eating that was difficult, it was drinking of the same six tonics day in and day out. It worked though. I look great. I am not sure how much weight I lost because I didn't weigh myself until Tuesday. I do know that I lost 4 pounds between Tuesday morning and Friday morning. It's actually relatively high in calories (1700 per day),so it's not necessarily designed for weight loss. It's more for real, hard core cleansing. I can totally see it in my face and skin. Bad digestion shows up on your face. My pores are invisible now and my skin is glowing. For real. And the best part is that I don't crave any bad foods. All I want is brown rice and steamed vegetables—and, man, how I want it!
Today I drank: 6 cleansing tonics, water, tea.
Work was: A blur.
Today I learned: You have to push yourself. Once you make the decision to push through, you'll have the energy to do it.
I am: Going to get the tea that's been sitting on my kitchen counter since 8, going to fold a basket of laundry that's been sitting next to my bed since Wednesday, going to find a new home for my pocket book innards (I threw out my purse. It was Prada and it was fab, but it had seen better days. It was way, way old and held too much energy now).
Tomorrow I will: Use a new purse. New purse. New energy.

I'm Afraid of Americans

Wake up: 6:00 am
Slept for: Maybe 6 and a half hours. I know I fell asleep before the end of the 11 pm re-airing of PR.
First thought is: Of Les Deux Gamins. It's long-been closed but the rain reminded me of it.
Baby is: Looking like a cartoon character of a baby.
This is: Cute. Though I often wonder about if he weren't so cute, would I so willingly do all of the tedious things for him. Willingly being the operative word—of course I'd still do them and I'd still love him but him being cute makes it easier. Oh, is this why all parents think their kids are cute? Is this nature's way of ensuring that a baby gets taken care of?
Daughter is: Sleeping in our bed with her head on my pillow. She looks huge. She came in pretty late/early morning—maybe 3 or so. She kept me up, twirling my hair. Where's the sleep fairy when you need her?
This is: I don't know. I am so tired when I am sleeping that I just don't even have the mojo to deal.
Man is: Working on new edition, fixing daughter's sunglasses, sewing daughter's shirt, exercising, spending time with family.
This is: Very 220, 221—whatever it takes.
Goal for the day: Get all my work done. This will be a feat since I don't have a sitter today.
Kabbalah says: Count your blessings. "We all have blessings in our lives even if we're having trouble finding a husband or making money or getting our lives on track or battling illness or depression. Even when life seems its darkest, there's always a pilot Light burning. Somewhere. You wouldn't be reading this if there wasn't Light pulsing through your being."
First bananas thought:
Arrive at gym: 8:30-ish.
Workout is: Quick (the fat burning program—33 minutes). It's better than nothing. Will do weights at home.
Today's song is: I'm Afraid of Americans by David Bowie
Best lyric is: God is an American
Best spam subject line: Britney Spears pregnant with antichrist
It's the best because: Of the whole Rosemary's Baby thing
I want: To know who got bounced from PR—because waiting to catch one of the hundred times the episode is re-aired is not acceptable, apparently.
I love: Knowing that things will be okay.
I wish: I don't really wish for anything today.
I am totally, majorly obsessing over: Using the term "pop off" as much as I can, for the sheer comedy of it—even though I am the only one who finds it so humurous.
Being a mom means: Patience, patience, patience. Of which, I don't have much, but I am learning.
Being a wife means: Trading new and unusual songs.
Being a business owner means: Living outside of your comfort zone for everything.
Out of the mouths of babes: "Grandma, you look better in this picture," said while pointing to a recent (though airbrushed) photo of my mom that sits next to one of her at 36.
Today I ate: Very cleanly except for half a cookie, which instantly gave me a bit of a stomach ache.
Today I drank: Not nearly enough water.
Work was: Swirling—one of those days that has you versus you having it.
Today I learned: Who got kicked off of PR. It took five seconds to click onto the Bravo site and find out. It wasn't fulfilling. Everything is too accessible nowadays.
I am: Going to get some tea.
Tomorrow I will: Cut out coffee in preparation for my Blueprint Cleanse that commences on Monday.

Don't You Worry 'Bout a Thing

Wake up: 5:50 am
Slept for: About 6 hours
First thought is: Why am I so tired?
Baby is: Hanging in his Kick & Play, trying to sort out how grab the hanging things.
This is: Entertaining him long enough for me to start this post and perhaps make coffee.
Daughter is: Very sweet to him. And he absolutely, wholly adores her. I understand why he's into Shawn and me (we take care of him) but to see this natural response to his sister is so interesting.
This is: Normal, I know—but still fascinating to witness.
Man is: Still sleeping right now.
This is: Fine—he went to bed later than I did. The amount of work required to create and maintain THE FAMILY GROOVE is simply staggering.
Goal for the day: Keep my focus and energy level up. I can feel it on the wane a bit because it's been on high for so long. I used to know a woman called High Voltage (seriously) and her whole things was "Energy Up!" Saying it (kinda actually works) and doing things to support it like working out and cutting out sugar, salt, white flour, high sugar foods like carrots, corn, white potatoes, etc. She got Kylie and Danni Minogue into bomb-ass shape, amongst other celebs. She was onto something.
Kabbalah says: "Move towards that joy today. Let it color your every thought and action. When you lose focus, bring it back to the joy."
First bananas thought: I'm a bit to dim (being very dim—who gets that literary reference?) to get to the bananas level yet.
Arrive at gym: Going tonight after DB3 (dinner, bath, bed, book).
Workout is: Better late than never. Walked into the gym at 9:10 pm or so. I am warrior though. Shooting at the walls of heartache. Bang. Bang. Warriors come out and pla-a-y-yay.
Today's song is: Don't You Worry 'Bout a Thing by Stevie Wonder—I though it was just organically in my head, but I just realized that it's used in a commercial and I have the news on in the background.
Best lyric is:
Everybody's got a thing
But some don't know how to handle it
Always reachin' out in vain
Accepting the things not worth having
Best spam subject line: Angelina Jolie...
It's the best because: You know you've imprinted on the popular consciousness when you're used in a spam. It might be my second goal, after being a commentator on VHI. I mean, seriously, I know a few people who do it. What's the big deal about them? No offense to them.
I want: To be a freakin' commentator on VHI shows. Who knows more about pop culture than me? Okay, many people, but I'd still do a good job.
I love: Sparkling water. Seriously, I didn't realize I had it in the house until this evening. Drinking it feels gratifying. It's interactive—and it makes me feel fancy.
I wish: Miley Cyrus wouldn't take the Hannah Montana wig off. She looks much better as a blond.
I am totally, majorly obsessing over: Grandiose, cinematic scenes in mind that romanticize my day-to-day.
Being a mom means: Calming your own frenetic self down for the sake of your kids.
Being a wife means: Learning that Jeremy Shockey got traded to the Saints.
Being a business owner means: Do do do do do do do do do Do do do do do do do do do
Do the hustle Do do do do do do do do do Do do do do do do do do do
Out of the mouths of babes: "I am going to marry Emmet and Gabby is going to marry me."
Today I ate: Clean and lean.
Today I drank: Water.
Work was: Intense and productive. We signed with MTVN today.
Today I learned: You don't ask, you don't get.
I am: Going to shower and get back to work.
Tomorrow I will: Pull back the curtain even more.

Dragula

Wake up: 6:45 am
Slept for: Almost 7 hours
First thought is: Thank goodness the baby slept so late.
Baby is: Bored. I totally think he is bored.
This is: Something I can do something about. I have to engage him more. He's almost ready for that play station thingy. What's it called? Oh, yes. The exersaucer.
Daughter is: Out and about with her grandmother, dressed as if she were going to lunch with the Queen.
This is: Cute, yet puzzling.
Man is: Playing softball. His two hours a week out of the house is over in an hour.
This is: Actually not true. He plays one night a week, for a total of four hours out of the house.
Emails to check: 30 something.
Goal for the day: Do things that will sustain my positive feelings like eating cleanly, folding the pile of towels on my bed versus watching them sit there all day (bad feng shui), drinking lots of water, completing my work to-do lists sans grumblings, etc.
Kabbalah says: "How much pain and trouble is caused because we misinterpret what people say and do to us? It's our ego-centric nature to think the worst and to take everything personally. It's not in our nature to think, I wonder what's going on for him right now? What pain inside caused him to do or say that?"
First bananas thought: I could change my blog name to MWA (Mothers with Attitude). Nah. You have to be pretty badass to pull an NWA pastiche like that off.
Arrive at gym: 9:50 am
Workout is: Just cardio—33 minutes of a weight burning program. I had half an hour of coverage from my mom since Shawn was at his game. I only worked out four times this week—and I begged, borrowed and stole those workouts. It's very difficult to get the time when you're working constantly as well as the sitter coverage when you do have a hot minute to go. It's worth it though. You have to hustle, but it's worth it.
Today's song is: One of the best workout songs ever: Dragula by Rob Zombie
Best lyric is: It's not about the lyrics. It's about the durgy, speed metally guitars.
Best spam subject line: Flat earth society disbanded.
It's the best because: WTF?
I want: To amend my "Today I learned" from yesterday. I learned or I should have learned that fresh bread is my crack cocaine. Bread is whack.
I love: Mondays—unlike Bob Geldof.
I wish: People saw the tumult and strain of the times as an opportunity for growth and change instead of complaining about it ad nauseum.
I am totally, majorly obsessing over: These little bumps on my arms that I get, apparently, postpartum. A lot of moms seem to get them and they do go away eventually, but they're a drag in the interim.
Being a mom means: Being hella organized and planning everything.
Being a wife means: I don't know but I am starting to think this topic would make a good book. I bet a lot of women struggle with that question.
Being a business owner means: Thinking big, but working small.
Out of the mouths of babes:
Today I ate: I'm doing well except for the piece(s) of dark chocolate, which actually gave me a headache.
Today I drank: Water.
Work was: Well, it's way still going. It's going going for a while.
Today I learned: Not sure yet.
I am: 32. I'm freakin' 32. How did I get to be 32?
Tomorrow I will: Reharness my waning energy and push on. I'm thinking it's time to get meditation back into my life.

Street Fighting Man

Wake up: 5:oo-ish
Slept for: 6 hours
First thought is: So many thoughts ricocheted against the walls of my mind today—I couldn't tell you my first thought, if you paid me.
Baby is: Got some little rashy thing on his right cheek. Poor little man. Scarlett never had anything like that. He's all drooly too. She almost never drooled.
This is: It's kinda ugly, I have to say. He's still a dreamboat though.
Daughter is: Doing so majorly great with the potty training. We're just about there.
This is: Good because we've got a little over month to nail it.
Man is: Watering the grass. Yes. Right now. At 9:52 pm.
This is: The first time we've had to water the grass all year.
Emails to check: Today was a less than busy Saturday, emails-wise.
Goal for the day: Finish my work—which I did! And the best part was that there was no other work to do like laundry, cleaning or Whole Fooding. We did all that during the week, including food shopping, which Shawn and Scarlett did last night. I swear, it was almost like a vacation day today, what with only have to concentrate on work and the kids.
Kabbalah says: To ask the light for help. And so I have.
First bananas thought: Oh my! There were so many today. My mom sat in back of Madonna and her brood at services today. This nugget started me on a speeding train of thoughts, ranging from we'll get her to do a TFG interview to we'll get her to invest in the company. It ended, as Madonna fantasies do, with us being friends.
Arrive at gym: 3:30-ish
Workout is: Good. Preprogrammed weight loss course. Burned 400 calories in 33 minutes.
Today's song is: Street Fighting Man by The Rolling Stones—but I was thinking Street Fighting Mom. And I momentarily considered changing my blog title to that, but, really, I'm no street fighter.
Best lyric is:
Hey! Think the time is right for a palace revolution
But where I live the game to play is compromise solution
Best spam subject line: Guinness record boobs
It's the best because: Guinness record boobs? Because it's freakin' hysterical.
I want: To go to sleep.
I love: When the littles are sleeping.
I wish: I knew if I should nix this question. I'm not really a wisher.
I am totally, majorly obsessing over: Knocking down my house and rebuilding greenly—and getting a camera crew/TV show to document it.
Being a mom means: Going swimming with your daughter at 7, even though it's easier to stay home and clean up from the day.
Being a wife means: Thinking about someone else.
Being a business owner means: Focus and agility.
Out of the mouths of babes: "This is my jam!"
Today I ate: Well...until dinner. Same song, different day.
Today I drank: Not nearly enough water. Don't know why either.
Work was: What it was.
Today I learned: I am not alone.
I am: Really, truly tired—which I rarely am.
Tomorrow I will: Workout, work and Mommy.

Lucky Man

Wake up: 4:50 am
Slept for: 5 1/2 hours
First thought is: No choice. Have to get up.
Baby is: Not up. Not even stirring. Of course. The one day I want him to be up so I can feed him and put him back to sleep in time to leave for training with Lori Sawyer (www.mommy-moves.com), he's stone cold sleeping.
This is: What it is. I woke him at 5:30 upon hearing the faintest peep. And my plan worked, he was back to crib by 6 and slept until 7 or so.
Daughter is: Being taught that she is in control of her thoughts and her happiness lives in her ability to make good decisions and understand that everything is a choice.
This is: Maaaaaajor.
Man is: Let me ask him. We're actually in the same room. "Man is:" Inaudible groan. "Making fake cookies." A few minutes later... "Man is: Using hot dogs for fingers."
This is: Patient of him.
Emails to check: An unusually small amount—something like 5.
Goal for the day: Get the hell out of my comfort zone—for everything.
Kabbalah says: This is my paraphrase: Go where the difficult is. If it's easy, then it's not for you. Out of the hard work and challenge, comes the light.
First bananas thought: I should write a book about how to overcome blowing your diet when you hit your bad eating hours. You know, for some it's from 5 to 7 (like me), for others it's earlier and for some it's late night but many of us hit a time when our resolve is withered and we make one bad food choice and then the flood gates open.
Arrive at gym: Arrived at Lori's at 6:25 am
Workout is: The best yet. I almost couldn't do it toward the end. I was dripping with sweat and just about ready to give up. That's how you're supposed to do it, people.
Today's song is: Lucky Man by The Verve
Best lyric is: But how many corners do I have to turn?
How many times do I have to learn
All the love I have is in my mind?
Best spam subject line: Madonna admits to adultery.
It's the best because: Just the mere mention of her Madgesty sends me.
I want: Ummm...nothing really.
I love: Kettle One martinis, shaken, dry, with olives.
I wish: Laundry folded itself. I think I wish this or some semblance of this fairly often. I should bigger my wishes.
I am totally, majorly obsessing over: A little rectangle of happiness called The Magic Eraser. Dudes, it is magic.
Being a mom means: One handed eating.
Being a wife means: Understanding traditional male and female roles. Now, it doesn't mean adhering to them, but you should understand the paradigm.
Being a business owner means: Faith.
Out of the mouths of babes: "Oh, Mommy, your dress is beeee-u-ti-fil. You look like a princess." About a dress that barely fit and, truly, honestly, looked terrible on me.
Today I ate: Super duper. So clean. Gold star for me.
Today I drank: Water and a martini.
Work was: Good.
Today I learned: It's best to kill 'em with kindness.
I am: Not going to edit that last article tonight. Mental juice fading...
Tomorrow I will: Stress less. Live more.

Synchronicity II

Wake up: 5 am
Slept for: 6 hours
First thought is: I can't go to the gym. I need this morning time to work.
Baby is: Aware. So aware.
This is: The time to step it up and start engaging him even more.
Daughter is: Aware. So aware.
This is: Time to step it up and start shaping the realities of which she is aware.
Man is: Let me email to see. Okay, Man is: Thinking...always thinking.
This is: Good. We be needing some solutions thunk up.
Emails to check: 20 something, I think.
Goal for the day: Do what I say I am going to do without oozing to much gusto.
Kabbalah says: "Today, make sure your needs are met. Not the superficial desires, but the deep yearnings of your soul. Get enough air in your lungs so you'll have that much more energy to truly help others."
First bananas thought: As thought with a stain of sheer panic: They're going to do it first. We need to be first.
Arrive at gym: I have no idea when I'd be able to go to the gym today. Maybe at 5 for a half an hour, during my work pause/dinner time.
Workout is: Just not happening today. 5 came and went without a break in work.
Today's song is: Synchronicity II
Best lyric is: Mother chants her litany of boredom and frustration
But we know all the suicides are fake
Daddy only stares into the distance
There's only so much more that he can take
Best spam subject line: Elloelloello
It's the best because: It makes me think of the few years (say 18 to 22) when I was English.
I want: Promise, dammit!
I love: Porsche sunglasses. Timeless.
I wish: They made biodegradable diapers, so I wouldn't have to feel so bad. Do they, actually?
I am totally, majorly obsessing over: Courtney Love. Why is she still the coolest ever? Have you seen the image on her homepage? Did Kurt help her with Live Through This with her? This question has plagued me for like 14 years.
Being a mom means: The one-handed feed and the one-handed type.
Being a wife means: Making time.
Being a business owner means: Lateral thinking.
Out of the mouths of babes: "Ice cream makes me feel better." To which I said: "No, it doesn't; it just tastes good. Thinking happy thoughts makes you feel better." Oh, if only I had known that earlier on in life.
Today I ate: This high fiber cereal with a picture of a slightly older guy and a girl all jazzed up about fiber on the front. It's like an SNL parody.
Today I drank: Water.
Work was: Pretty productive.
Today I learned: The universe listens to what you tell it and answers what you ask of it.
I am: In the middle of the bath and bed marathon.
Tomorrow I will: Grow.

Can't Catch Me

Wake up: 5 to get the baby. 6 for real.
Slept for: I really don't know what time I fell asleep last night. I know it was before I finished folding the laundry. I wish there were a laundry folding fairy. I guess they're actually called housekeepers.
First thought is: I have so much time to do all the things I want to do like put in another laundry, edit an article, return emails before I go to the gym. Seriously, this was my thought and it made me happy. I love having time to get a jump on things. Waking up early is a key factor in my overall happiness because it helps me to feel in control. I highly recommend it.
Baby is: On day four (or so) of a real baby schedule which includes sleeping through the night, cat-napping from 6 to 11-ish and then mega-napping from 11 to 3 or so. Eventually, he will convert his...sorry, I had to go, he got up. I'm hoping it's just a slight awake pause in his marathon of sleep. I better not talk about this anymore. I think I am angering the parenting gods.
This is: Nothing. Forget it. I said nothing about a schedule or sleep. Never mind any of it.
Daughter is: Out with her sitter, a gem of a girl who's been in our lives for two years now. We got lucky with her.
This is: Comforting. She's smart, responsible, patient and conscientious and having her spend time with Scarlett doesn't make me feel guilty about not spending the time with her myself.
Man is: I am going to email him to find out. He is downstairs in his office, by the way. He says: Still here.
This is: Going to plague me for hours, days, weeks, as to its meaning, when it probably means nothing. Oh, just got a follow-up email with subject line "Just Kidding" and text that reads: Man is not that grouchy today. Gratuitous wonderment and ill-drawn conclusions averted.
Emails to check: I think there where a decent amount, but it's been six hours since I checked them and millions of thoughts, fears, hopes, dreams have replaced that speck of info.
Goal for the day: Pay very close attention to my words and, hence, my thoughts.
Kabbalah says: "Keep working, moving forward, sharing and caring about the people who cross your path. You'll get your slice in due time. The harder you work for it, the tastier it'll be."
First bananas thought: Harvey Weinstein would be good on this project. He thinks big and takes chances.
Arrive at gym: 8:00 am
Workout is: Good. Not enough time for weights—I just got there 20 minutes too late. I did have time for 36 minutes of cardio on the Precor, levels 5 and 6 of the weight loss program. I cannot stress enough how much better it is to do the preprogrammed workouts. I'll do pushups, dips and free weights at home today. And know that I've typed it out, I have to do it.
Today's song is: Can't Catch Me by Lita Ford
Best lyric is: Don't think I'm easy—I wasn't born blonde
Best spam subject line: Don't be shy
It's the best because: It makes me think of Kajagoogoo. Anything that makes me think of 1983 is the best.
I want: A local all-night (or at least late night) pedicure and manicure place. I think it'd be a hit with the suburban moms—especially if they served drink-drinks.
I love: Do-overs.
I wish: I could see around the corner.
I am totally, majorly obsessing over: Money.
Being a mom means: Stopping what you are doing, getting up from the computer and taking a minute be there for your child.
Being a wife means: Dividing and conquering.
Being a business owner means: Using what you got.
Out of the mouths of babes: Mama, I want you. Oh, forget it. Daddy's coming.
Today I ate: Good—pretty similar to yesterday's menu but I had oatmeal and berries for breakfast.
Today I drank: Coffee, green tea, water.
Work was: Productive. I know something big is brewing.
Today I learned: What you focus on expands.
I am: Going to stay focused on watching what I focus on.
Tomorrow I will: